The Hills are alive with the Giudice indeed. Airing last night was Episode 15 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, which might or might not have been one of the more boring episodes this season.
What did we learn last night? Well for one, ‘Ethninticity’ is a word according to Danielle Staub, Caroline Manzo finds it cute and adorable when Joe Giudice decides to throw a temper tantrum and go on a cursing rampage around kids, and Jacqueline Laurita really really cares about “old people.”
The episode starts out with the families as they get ready to dock in Naples. We immediately see a very cranky Joe and Teresa tries to convince us the source of this is that Joe doesn’t like being away from his business for a week. They all get on the bus, and Caroline tells us she’s annoyed by the Giudice children. Teresa however makes it clear she is not responsible for Caroline’s funky mood.
Danielle and her eyebrows attempt a heart to heart with her daughters, as she wants to discuss her birth mother. But before getting to the main topic, Danielle takes us down a trip on victims’ memory lane, rehashing Kim G’s betrayal and Teresa’s big mouth. And at the end of this convo, I’m still uncertain what the point of Danielle’s sit down with her daughters was. This just seems like an opportunity for Danielle to share her woe-is-me-Kim G-betrayed-me sob story. We do find out Danielle’s mother had her at age 15, but something tells me her daughters already knew that.
The families go out to dinner and we see the men eating “like they were going to jail.” Joe mentions they might have to hike it when visiting his family the next day. Jacqueline is immediately concerned as she realizes babies and old people do not know how to hike. Teresa however assures us in her interview that all will be well as Italy also has babies and old people, who hike everyday.
Danielle‘s favorite ex-con Danny decides to pay her a visit and informs her the others are gone to Italy. Danielle, who has had to suffer the last couple of weeks/months without a panini, is happy as she can now drive over to the market in Franklin Lakes without having to fear for her life. Danny randomly and oddly brings up Ashley, stating he has met some of her friends who have offered to help him. Help with what exactly? We’re not told. Danielle immediately goes on an Ashley bashing rampage. “She doesn’t have friends, she’s got terroristic tendencies,” said former prostitution whore/kidnapper Danielle.
Danny decides he needs to keep tabs on the then teenage Ashley, and Danielle encourages this because Ashley’s “got a special kind of crazy,” says the nutty pot.
We are now back in Italy and as the families get ready to leave for Joe’s hometown, the cursing resumes as the cranky and bankrupt Joe complains about the prices of things. Perhaps someone should inform Joe luxurious trips to Italy don’t come cheap. But then again Joe isn’t quite used to taking responsibility for his debts.
And at this point, I wonder just how much Bravo is shelling out for this fancy trip. As I said earlier, Bravo typically foots the bill for the ladies from the Housewives franchise to take a trip each season. My guess is Bravo was not willing to cover the expenses for the kids, grand parents and other family members involved in this trip, which would explain Joe’s outbursts. Which would then also mean the bankrupt and suppose to be broke Giudices continued to live beyond their means by bringing their whole family to Italy. What I wouldn’t do to know the amount of debt the Giudices have racked up since filing for bankruptcy back in October.
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Joe continues his complaints as he wants to know how they spent $2,200 on drinks in one night and $1,000 on breakfast that sucked? I’m certain his debtors would like to know the same. Jacqueline gives us the second best quote of the night when she states in her interview, “You eat, you drink, you pay!”
Joe asks everyone to be civilized as he curses away, and Caroline is just so tickled by this, you know because cursing up a storm in front of young kids is always so funny. What irritated me about this scene is how Caroline seems to excuse the actions of the Giudices and pretty much everyone on the show with the exception of Danielle. Once again all is well, and things are always perfect between the Giudices, Manzos, and the Lauritas. Arguments/disagreements only occur when Danielle is involved.
Danielle meets up with a private investigator and shares that she doesn’t have much to go on concerning her birth mother, oh but she does have something important! Her “Ethninticity” that is! If you only knew how many times I had to rewind this scene on tivo to get the right spelling for Danielle’s butchered word. Between Danielle’s ‘ethninticity’ and Teresa’s hotel ‘aybayday,’ I’m pretty certain I lost a few braincells last night.
Back in Italy, we finally get to meet Joe’s family and we find out Teresa and Juicy Joe speak fluent Italian. Caroline shares she doesn’t speak the language as she and her siblings were not taught Italian while growing up. The families leave Joe’s family home and at this point in the show, I just want this boredom to be over. Since Danielle is reportedly leaving the show, I will go ahead and take a gander that Bravo will be doing some major re-casting. There’s no way the show comes back next season with just the Manzos, Lauritas, and Giudices. And if it does, Bravo can most certainly count me out as a viewer.
We’re back in Jersey with Danielle as she gets some not so great news from her hired PI, who tells her the search will be a bit more difficult because her birth mom was a minor when she gave birth. Danielle is sad, understandably so, but she still has hope of finding her birth mom one day.
To celebrate the end of their fancy and luxurious Italian trip, the Giudices decide to hold a party dinner get together for Teresa’s family and the others. Teresa makes a grand entrance with her daughters who are all dressed in the horrendous outfits their mama chose for them.
All the families return home to Jersey, and the previews for next week’s season finale is the only thing that made this last boring hour worthwhile. We see a big showdown coming up between part time Mama Bear/full time Godmother Caroline and prostitution whore Danielle. It seems Caroline wants to tell Danielle to stay away from her family and I have to ask myself, as nutty as Danielle is, hasn’t she stayed clear of the Caroline’s family all most of the season? Wasn’t Teresa the one who instigated the whole showdown at the country club? Wasn’t Ashley the one who pulled out Danielle’s hair extensions? Yes Danielle stirred up trouble during the Brownstone fund raiser event, but she was invited there by the people doing the event. Guess we’ll all find out more on what leads to this showdown next week.
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