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It’s a wedding! It’s a circus! Oh, it’s just the ridonkulous “Southern Baby Shower” of Phaedra Parks on the Real Housewives of Atlanta episode 4.

The episode starts out with Nene Leakes paying a visit to her plastic surgeon with her BFF Diana, whom we’ve never seen on the show before. Nene is determined to get her happy back, and what better way to do that than with new boobs, a new nose and a new stomach. Oddly enough, Nene doesn’t discuss a nose job with the Surgeon though she does hint to the doctor that she might decide to do something else on the day of the surgery.

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Kim is shown at her home with a chef. Yes, Kim has a chef. At this point, I find myself trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong in my life as I have no chef, or personal assistant. That is until Kim announces a minute later that Big Poppa is back sponsoring her in her life, and I realize my big flaw is having morals and not sleeping with married men.

In a surprising scene, we get to meet the legends behind the woman known as Kim Zolciak as her parents make their first appearance on the show. Kim’s father, Joe Zolciak, is the star of this scene as he is basically a male version of Kim. Joe states Kim looks just like him, and he is right! Add a mustache on Kim, remove her wig, and you basically have Joe Zolciak. Kim shares she’s back with Big Poppa and her parents don’t seem to have an issue with the whorish actions of their daughter. “My parents adore Big Poppa,” states Kim.

Kim brings up her performance at the White Party, and her dad brings the lols when he states his daughter is a good singer. “I was very proud of her cause she is a very class individual… As a matter of fact, when she was in 8th grade, she sang a Christmas song and I had tears in my eyes because it was phenomenal,” states Kim’s dad. But then again, can you blame him? Who hasn’t cried upon hearing Kim sing?

“Supermodel” Cynthia and her boyfriend Peter, along with Phaedra and Dwight, are shown in a limo en route to a horse race. Upon entering the limo, Phaedra, who invited Cynthia and Peter, states that her husband Apollo isn’t coming because it isn’t his thing. Peter, who wasn’t that excited about the event to begin with, wishes he would have known this fact beforehand. And I have to agree with Peter, as something about this was a tad tactless. Phaedra should have informed Cynthia ahead of time that her husband was not coming so that way Peter could have made his decision based on that fact. Cynthia and Peter were under the assumption that this was a couple’s outing.

Cynthia also brings the lols when she states the always over the top “Phaedra looked like a Black Tammy Faye Bakker and Dwight looked like Willie Wonka.” Phaedra reveals she’s an Equestrian who has been riding since she was 7. As Cynthia tries to make polite convo with Phaedra, the topic turns to children and Phaedra states she did not want someone with “baggage” or “drama,” and wanted someone “clean” after Peter stated he had 5 kids. Oh, the irony! I mean how tactless & delusional is this woman? Cynthia, who I had pegged for being boring, brings the funny once again when she states, “Apollo taking showers in prison is the only way he can be cleaner than my man!”

Phaedra’s comments in the limo were so out of line and downright rude. I’m starting to question how this woman became an attorney? At age 50, Peter’s kids might have been from a past marriage or from the same woman. Who is she to judge? And the irony of a woman married to an ex-con passing judgement on someone else’s man is just mind blowing to me. Phaedra strikes me as one of those self absorbed people who goes through life rubbing people the wrong way, without even realizing it.

Despite Phaedra’s rude comments, Cynthia still keeps her cool and even holds Phaedra’s hand as they walk towards the horse racing. In her interview, Phaedra once again brags about being a “true Equestrian” except this time around, she’s been riding horses since the age of 8. Remember she said age 7 before?

Cynthia sums up Phaedra, very accurately I might add, when she states, “Phaedra is no doubt her biggest cheerleader. It’s just like Go Phaedra, go Phaedra, go Phaedra. And I’m like Girl put down the pom poms, Please put them down. We get it! I’m a lawyer! I’m an Equestrian!

Kim pays Kandi a visit in her studio, and Kandi uses this scene to promote to play her new music for Kim. The musical genius known as Kim has decided she’s ready to become a two hit wonder by recording a follow up to her first single ‘Tardy For The Party.’ Kandi suggests to Kim that they both do a promotional tour together and umm wasn’t Kandi just making fun of Kim’s lack of talent an episode ago? Me thinks the businesswoman in Kandi realizes the no talent wonder is able to bring in an audience despite her total lack of talent. In her interview, Kandi makes it clear once again that she will be getting paid this time around for her producing magic.

Nene‘s surgery is over and even a heavily sedated Nene cannot stop talking. For some odd reason, Nene wants to talk to Kim and Sheree. After talking to both ladies, Nene asks for her husband Gregg, who is nowhere to be found. And judging by the way Nene kept asking for her husband before and after the surgery, it’s all but obvious she still loves Gregg on some level, despite their marital issues.

Phaedra and Dwight decide to do a dance lesson, you know, so they can waltz at her very classy Southern baby shower. The dance instructor as well as the rest of the world wants to know why Phaedra’s husband is not doing this with her. Phaedra states Apollo is too “masculine, cave mannish” to do the waltz. So this makes event #2 that Phaedra’s husband does not want to participate in on this episode. At this point, I’m starting to wonder what the heck Phaedra and her husband have in common, and why she seems to be spending more time with Dwight than with him. As the season goes by, it’s becoming more and more apparent that this marriage isn’t as solid as Phaedra would like us to believe.

It’s time for the seminar with the fake Doctor Tiy-E Muhammad. Tiy-E has been revealed to be a fraud. He has no medical degree and is a former Clark Atlanta University associate professor who was fired for lying about his credentials. Poor Sheree, she truly believes this phony is a real doctor. As the seminar goes on, the Love Doctor pays attention to another woman in the audience, and Sheree looks to be a tad jealous for a quick second. The topic then turns to love and money. Tiy-E wants to know if Sheree would date a man who worked at a Payless shoe store. “How would I meet him?” quickly replies Sheree. I actually found that to be very funny. And is it me or is Sheree a tad more likable this season? The fake doctor asks Sheree out on a second date and she accepts.

Nene is home recovering with a nose that now looks a lot like Dwight’s. Kim pays her good friend a visit and Nene’s son Bryson does not approve of his mom’s surgery as he doesn’t think she needed it. In this cringe worthy scene, Nene dotes on her younger son Brent, stating that he has a perfect nose while Bryson just stands there. Nene just indirectly implied there is something wrong with Bryson’s nose. I’m guessing this isn’t the first time Bryson has heard his mom making such statements. Parents need to be careful in the things they say in front of their children. This scene is a perfect example of how kids grow up developing certain complexes about their looks.

And I’m far from being the PC Police, as I’ve stated numerous times on this blog that certain people who decided to get certain surgeries looked better post surgery. But I must say, I thought Nene’s nose looked completely fine before. She definitely did not need a nose job in my opinion. In fact, I think she looks worse now. A good nose job should always be subtle and the fact that the surgery is so obvious tends to be a good indication of a surgery gone wrong.

It’s the day of the wedding “Southern Baby Shower,” and we see Dwight getting his make-up done professionally. “I feel as though this is my big day as well,” declares Dwight. “I love Southern, and I love over the top,” states Phaedra. I’m not sure about the Southern part, but she definitely got the over the top part down with this Boughetto baby shower.

We find out this isn’t just any ol regular Southern baby shower, as this one has a dress code! The ladies are required to wear hats and dresses. Upon arriving, each lady is escorted in by a male escort. We can now add debutante ball to the long list of question marks pertaining to this circus. Lisa Wu Hartwell makes an appearance at the event and sits with Cynthia and Kandi. Bridezilla Phaedra, with her rhinestone make-up and a garden growing out of her hair, instructs Dwight not to allow anyone else to come into the event because they are tardy for the party as is.

The only thing funnier than this ridonkulous affair is the commentary by the ladies. “I love Phaedra but the rhinestones on the eyelashes are bourghetto. Bourgeois and ghetto at the same time!” says Kandi. ‘The roses in the hair? That was baaaad. That was probably Dwight’s idea,” says Cynthia. Kim, who would show up late to her own funeral, shows up late to the shower without a hat. Guessing someone forgot to share the memo with Kim.

“The Ballerinas at the shower was my idea. I don’t think people celebrate the arts quite enough. And since I am an Entertainment Attorney, I have a love of the arts,” states the pretentious/delusional Phaedra. Evidently, defending entertainers such as Too Short, Bobby Brown and Jermaine Dupri brings one closer to the arts.

“Like someone just please stab me in the neck and put me out of my misery,” states Cynthia. And with that statement, Bravo kindly puts us out of our miseries.

What an episode. I can’t stop laughing at the whole Southern baby shower debacle. And as someone who has been to a couple of baby showers in the “South,” no they are absolutely nothing like Phaedra’s, at all. Phaedra started out the season as somewhat likable and funny, but boy o boy, her true colors are starting to show and just like her makeup, it ain’t pretty! She is trying way too hard, and coming off as way too phony and pretentious. I mean, having to continuously announce she’s an Equestrian and how classy & Southern she is, geez, give it a break already. On top of all that, she’s arrogant and a tad ignorant. Despite it all, I do believe Phaedra does have a few ounces of intelligence. I believe she will watch herself this season, hopefully see how she comes across to others, and make some changes within herself.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE & THE SOUTHERN BABY SHOWER?

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