A new episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County aired last night with most of the ladies doing what they do best – Alexis getting her daily dose of botox, Tamra taking her clothes off and Peggy making plans to get another boob job.
Astrology, Numerology, Meditation, Yoga & Pilates, and a Boob Job – Which one does not belong? The episode begins with Peggy and her hubby Micah paying a visit to her plastic surgeon as it is time for a boob tune up! Peggy disrobes and the doctor tries to be PC about her boob damage while Micah is more blunt citing the dents in Peggy’s boobs need repair. But fret not as Micah is not complaining about his wife’s assets. “Boobs are great no matter what. It’s like pizza. There’s no bad pizza,” says the wise Micah. The lols do not end there. Micah wants to know if Peggy’s new boobs will be able to hold a glass of wine, as I ponder how
funny inappropriate that comment is as well as why Bravo hasn’t shown more of Micah based on this scene alone!
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Gretchen continues to plan her parents’ surprise vow renewal ceremony. Another surprise the old Gretch has up her sleeves is to make her mom a new wedding dress. Gretchen needs to know her mother’s dress size and instead of simply coyly asking her mother or one of her mother’s friends, she decides the best way to go about this is by breaking and entering into her parents’ home. All ends well for Gretchen as her parents apparently don’t own a home security system and the break-in is successful.
Vicki is back home living large and in charge as we get some more insightful foreshadowing into her impending divorce. The special occasion is a family dinner with Donn and both of her kids. Vicki admits she is experiencing the empty nest syndrome and is happy to have her kids around. The family sits for an awkward dinner while Donn mostly stays quiet though he does open his mouth to utter the words, “You’re never home Vicki.” The kids seem to agree with Donn and Vicki goes on to state in her interview, “My kids are raised. They’re not home anymore so what else do I have?” Yikes. With statements like this, it’s a wonder this marriage does not last.
Next is Tamra, who continues to
make an ass of herself stick it to Simon by bearing her breasts and bottom for a NOH8 photo shoot in support of gay marriage. And no I don’t see the correlation either in getting naked to support gay marriage but evidently Tamra does. Tamra’s partner in crime is her very good friend, the super lesbian Fernanda, you know, because we pretty much know nothing else about her other than the fact that she’s a bisexual/lesbian who loves saying biyatcha! “So have I dabbled in the vagina pool? Let’s say I’m a equal opportunist,” states the 42-year-old mother of four on national television. “Simon would never let me do something like this,” adds Tamra. Well most husbands wouldn’t.
So what’s a mother to do when her own showbiz career never quite took off? You live vicariously through your kids duh! Stage mom in the making Peggy decides to take her 3-year-old and 1-year-old, yes, 1-year-old, daughters to a modeling agency to put them to work! It’s time for the girls to audition and the 3-year-old London is asked to do a fierce catwalk though she barely makes three steps because she is 3. Little London is then asked do some fierce poses but she can barely hold still you know, because she is 3. “I think going through postpartum depression and being a hands on mom, doing some more modeling will definitely be good for me,” states Peggy. Nice to know this is all about the kids and not their pushy stage mom. The best part of this scene? The awesome modeling agency owner lady who politely attempts to kick out Peggy and her kids, who are running around and don’t want to leave. “I bet if you guys just started walking, they’ll follow,” stated Patty Brand.
Alexis is planning a botox party and proceeds to invite all the ladies while driving. She invites Gretchen and then calls up Tamra to invite her. Tamra accepts the invite, but doesn’t want to be verbally attacked by Gretchen after all the years of verbally attacking Gretchen unprovoked. Tamra then states she will be bringing Vicki, and Alexis is okay with this as long as Vicki leaves her AK-47 at home.
On a different side of town, it’s moving day for Tamra as she is now leaving her “tiny little” apartment for a much bigger home since that Bravo check has cleared. Tamra informs Eddie about her Cabo spring break trip with Vicki, and proceeds to praise Eddie for not throwing a fit like Simon would have done. Let’s see how Eddie feels about Tamra’s shenanigans in a few years when Tamra is his wife.
Meanwhile it’s the day of Fernanda‘s citizenship party and she is disappointed that her good friend Tamra is missing her big day to move. Fernanda feels Tamra should have rescheduled moving to make her party. And I’m going to have to be on Team Tamra on this issue as it’s a bit absurd to ask someone to reschedule a moving day to attend a citizenship party which seemed more like a small get together. I mean, what if the lease was up for Tamra’s apartment and she had to move on that day? Amongst many other plausible reasons. Me thinks Fernanda might be catching feelings for Tamra, who is nothing but a vayjayjay tease. And Holy Real Housewives of Miami reject! Is anyone else as bored by Fernanda as I am?
It’s time for Alexis‘ botox party and the ladies start to arrive. Alexis states she didn’t hold the event at her house because she didn’t want the ladies to wreck her home, which must be code for ‘I don’t want the ladies to see my foreclosure auction notices.’ Vicki is en route with Tamra and reveals she actually emailed Alexis to attempt to put the past drama behind them. Classy move on Vicki’s part. Not classy is Tamra Sue’s revelation that she is bringing mace to the party as a joke in case Gretchen attacks her.
Peggy and Fernanda arrive as do Tamra and Vicki. Alexis makes a joke about the ladies being fashionably late and Vicki feels Alexis should just be grateful she took time out of her precious work day to grace her event with her presence. Peggy is introduced to Vicki and Alexis, and almost instantly, we see some major butt kissing, almost as if Peggy is eager to join the
mean “popular” girl clique.
Eager Peggy makes certain to bond with Tamra over their “younger” men, while bonding with Vicki over their astrology signs. Fernanda proceeds to approach Tamra over missing her party and voices her disappointment. Tamra gets overly defensive and overreacts instead of simply stating her side. In her interview, drama queen Tamra states Fernanda confronted her and refers to her as “Charo.” Perhaps it’s just me but that did not seem like a confrontation at all. Fernanda backs down, apologizes for bringing up her disappointment, while Peggy is uncomfortable at being a part of this lovers’ quarrel.
Following her chat with Tamra, it is now time for Peggy to butt-kiss Vicki. Peggy has done her research as she overly compliments Vicki on her work and her business. Oddly enough, Alexis jokingly wonders if Peggy is brown nosing Vicki. Peggy pretty much admits to kissing Vicki and Tamra’s butts by stating in her interview that she wants to remain on the ladies’ good sides. As the party comes to an end, Vicki and Tamra prepare to leave but not before the drama queen pulls out her mace. “You never know who didn’t take their meds today,” loudly jokes Tamra in the presence of Gretchen. Alexis attempts to laugh it off and the episode comes to an end.
Watch What Happens Live – The guests were Nene Leakes and Hotness/Top Chef Masters host Curtis Stone. It was a bit hard to watch as I’m no fan of the Nene. Nene, who might or might not be the most unaware person on earth, of course started off the show with a message to her costars. The Nene stated she could relate to Tamra bringing mace to Alexis’ party because she also works with a similar bunch of women.
“These women are catty. These women want to fight. These women want to argue. They want to talk trash. They’re haters. I mean really. You almost need a can of mace,” stated Nene about her RHOA costars. And yes, every single one of those statements pretty much applies to Nene. The show continued with Nene making some
unwelcomed awkward passes at Curtis, while acknowledging his girlfriend, actress Linsday Price, was also in the WWHL audience.
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