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Forget the grenade whistle, sound the litigation trombone! As Jersey Shore progresses, the gorilla juicehead gang seems to be more about lawsuits than bathing suits. The Situation finally comes to a resolution with his estranged father, but Pauly D has been strapped with a lawsuit to the tune of millions of dollars. It’s a total GTL situation: Guidos Turned Litigants. Hey-oh!

It seems Mike Sorrentino’s recent Situation with his father has become a lot more civil. You may recall the older Sorrentino was basically exploiting his son and using his son’s fame and popularity to gain notoriety and some extra cash with his website TheConfrontationSite.com. So wrong. If I were Mike, I’d be calling my dad the “Bitchuation” but that’s just me. Luckily, according to TMZ, the lawsuit Sitch brought against his father with claims of using the star’s name, image and likeness without permission is being dismissed much like a grenade after a late night hot tub session.

Frank Sorrentino was sued by his son after creating a website, now defunct, which bashed the Sitch. Frank believes he was the victim of a con artist, Robert Fletcher, who hoped to capitalize on the Sorrentino’s rocky father-son relationship. Frank is apologetic and claims, “I regret getting involved with Robert Fletcher and I am sorry that I participated, to the detriment of my son Michael.” It’s worth noting that the terms of the settlement required Fletcher to pay Mike $5000 while his father got off scott free with just an apology. Blood is apparently thicker than water at the Shore.

Meanwhile, DJ “Pauly DDelvecchio finds himself in $4 million worth of legal woes. The New York Post is reporting that Paul Lis, a DJ out of Connecticut, is suing Pauly D for his part in damaging his business. Years before Pauly D was lugging cases of Aqua Net across the turnpike, Lis had trademarked the name “DJ Paulie.” After forty years in the disc jockey industry, Lis claims that the Jersey Shore information with which MTV flooded (and continues to flood) the internet has made it a virtual impossibility (literally…bad pun) for potential advertisers and clients to find his site. Lis’ attorney elaborates, “He formally trademarked the name ‘DJ Paulie’ and then came the ‘Jersey Shore’ which basically wiped him off the face of the map.”

Lis has even sent a cease and desist letter to the network but got no response. During this time, Pauly D has applied with the United States Patent and Trademark Office to secure a copyright for his name, claiming it’s a very different business and there is no chance for likelihood of confusion with the original Paulie’s registered moniker. Shockingly, Pauly 2.0′s multiple applications were denied. As someone schooled in the excitement that is trademark law, I can say the USPTO doesn’t often deny applications for no reason.

Lis’ suit reaches beyond Pauly D to the deeper pockets of Delveccio’s employers, MTV and The Palms Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, claiming that by employing the young high-haired DJ, the entities are further burying the original Paulie’s name and livelihood. The allegations in the complaint assert that “[t]he reality television show [follows] a group of young adults pursuing a debauched lifestyle suggestive of loose morals, violence, intoxication and liberal profanity — the exact opposite of the reputation the Plaintiff, ‘DJ Paulie’ that[sic] he had spent decades cultivating.”

While I’m thrilled to report that the Situation and his father have buried the hatchet, I have just one word of advice for Pauly D. Give up your dream of being the next big DJ. Forget DTF (Dudes Trademarking Falsities) and RUN, don’t walk, to the USPTO to copyright “Cabs ah he-ah” and “T-shirt time.” Just putting those phrases on t-shirts, license plates and Mardi Gras trumpets will keep you comfortable, coiffed and hot-tubbed for the rest of your life.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SITUATION SETTLING HIS DISPUTE WITH DEAR OLD DAD? DO YOU THINK DJ PAULIE’S LAWSUIT HAS ANY MERIT AGAINST DJ PAULY D?

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