Holy &%#@*! I feel like they’ve been on hiatus for an extreme amount of time, but it is finally time for the ladies of Mob Wives to reconvene for the first season’s reunion special. And holy host! Unless she was tag-teaming with Maury Povich on Jerry Springer’s set, I can’t imagine a better host for this reunion than Wendy Williams. This is going to be AH-MAZE-ING!
First off, we get to see fabulous highlights from the first season with Drita D’avanzo, Renee Graziano, Karen Gravano, and Wendy Williams, and it’s as if I just died a Mob Wives death and the best parts of my life are flashing before my eyes.
Wendy Williams, or W Squared, begins by discussing the public perception of the show. Drita can’t believe that people are upset over her representation of Staten Island. As far as she’s concerned, it wasn’t a representation of Staten Island as it was just a representation of her personal life, so what is the big deal? I can see her point. I mean, if New Jersey were judged on the representations of the cast of Jersey Shore or RHWNJ, the Garden State would be royally screwed…oh wait. W2 reminds the ladies that Mob Princess Victoria Gotti has bad-mouthed the show, calling it scripted, and that clearly strikes a nerve with Renee, but she doesn’t elaborate.
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The question that’s been on the tip of America’s tongue is asked, mainly “How in the hell do you live in nice houses, drive SUVs, have mad surveillance systems, all while NOT. WORKING.? The ladies wax poetic about past jobs and skill sets that would allow them solid employment need-be, but Karen pretty much gives the answer we’ve all suspected with “well we’re on a show.” Not that it explains how they got what they have, but I’m sure the VH1 paycheck is helpful with maintenance. W2 goes “there” and inquires if the mob is still alive and well on Staten Island. Renee winks and asks, “What mob?” Wendy wisely decides to abandon this line of questioning as she realizes she’d be easily recognizable if placed in the witness protection program in Centerville, Indiana.
Renee reveals that she wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Karen was returning to Staten Island, but after all they’ve gone through, Renee gives Karen mad respect. Renee shares that she no longer has a relationship with her father, and not because of her rekindled friendship with Karen, but because of her involvement on the show. He
duh doesn’t watch it. Karen’s father does watch the show, and he calls her Mondays with mixed reviews, mainly not the best…however, he is proud of his daughter’s path. Carla states that her (almost ex?) husband Joe has no desire to watch the show, and Drita admits that poor Lee doesn’t even have access to VH1 in the clink, so he relies on other inmates’ recaps. Once again, W2 reminds the viewers that of the 11-12 years that Lee and Drita have been together, he’s spent 8 of those in the slammer.
Cut to a montage of Lee and Drita’s
phone relationship during the season, mainly highlighting Drita relaying the moment she learned that Lee had cheated on her. Cut to W2 crying. Cut to me being like, really Wendy? Drita has filed, but not finalized, her divorce with Lee, and admits that she did confront the other woman, although apparently it was over the phone. Drita says she was glad it wasn’t face-to-face as she was worried about her inability to control herself. Good call, I’d say. The other women seem supportive of Drita’s decision, with Renee stating, before giving her two cents on Lee, “You can bleep me, plain and simple.” VH1 replies, “Been there, done that.”
W2 wonders, why all the inmates? What happened to meeting a nice dude at the local Applebee’s? The women all concur that normal guys must be scared of them. The term “side chick” is thrown around, referring to the mob wives’ incarcerated husbands’ groupies (mouthful…that’s what she said. Sorry). Renee is straight to the point with “they’re whores” while Karen is a bit kinder, thinking these women are just intrigued by the Mafia lifestyle.
Carla reveals that she didn’t know that husband Joe had cheated on her until after he’d been sentenced. Carla’s boyfriend (who was mentioned often but never shown on the show) is no longer in the picture which gains a stellar slow clap from Renee. While invisible boyfriend is out, Joe isn’t necessarily back in…the pair have a good parenting relationship, but Carla blatantly ignores W2’s “so, are you two smushing” question.
The next topic is Renee and Carla’s
smack down disagreement and the discussion turns to what a creepy groper Carla’s ex-boyfriend was to the other ladies. While no longer together, Carla is determined to stand by her former man. She concedes that he once innocently smacked Drita’s ass in her presence, but he was drunk and that’s what drunk Guido boyfriends do. She is adamant that he never fondled the other women when she was around. “So what do you think he does behind your back?” challenges Renee, whose crazy eyes are rivaling Ramona’s. W2 is on Team Renee, but Carla refuses to admit that there is a possibility that her admittedly inappropriate ex-boyfriend was anything but appropriate out of her sight. Carla confronts Renee, saying her old (I feel like I need to keep reiterating he is no longer with her because that key point makes this argument even more humorous) boyfriend NEVER touched Renee. Well, Renee begs to differ, and uncomfortably, awkwardly, and excessively swears on her SON’S LIFE (true) that OH YES HE DID. I also think Renee also succeeded in giving Carla the nickname “filler.” Renee becomes upset and leaves the set, but returns after the break. When pressed by W2 about said touching, Renee realizes she’s just put her child’s life on the table, and says she’d just like to get past it and move on from the situation.
It’s time to bring up Drita and Karen’s rocky relationship. Renee says, “Call me a troublemaker right now, because I’m about to do it…” and then goes on to say she doesn’t think the ladies could have overcome all of the craziness in their past. Drita isn’t happy with how any of the madness played out, and that includes her part in everything. Finally! We learn what was in that dreaded first chapter of Karen’s Shadow of the Bull. It was about her childhood. Well, at least that mystery is solved. Karen expresses that her life is so much bigger than Lee D’avanzo, and she isn’t certain if he’ll even be in the book. W2 shows never before seen footage of the rooftop throw down, where Renee is running interference. Drita admits that the only person she was scared of was herself, and she blacked out during most of the battle. Drita and Karen haven’t seen each other since that night, and they get a bit catty all over again concerning who has slept with whom. W2 interrupts to ask Karen if she hates Drita…but Karen doesn’t hate her. There is too much history between the two ladies.
Renee is in the hot seat, along with her reputation as a drama queen (ladies and gentlemen, I submit this reunion as evidence) and her current relationship with Junior. According to Renee, he is still out of the picture and all of the ladies look genuinely happy for her. Renee had found a new companion–more a friend than a lover at this point–but she wouldn’t be opposed to seeing what happens next. She also elaborates on her own Heidi Montag-style plastic surgery, going back to work, and her prior styling of Fiddy Cent and G-Unit.
The second “America Wants to Know” question is asked (oh so subtly and tactfully) by W2, and Karen confirms that her daughter is half African-American. Additionally, her daughter is now with her in Staten Island after spending the season in Arizona. Karen reveals it was a big struggle to be separated from her daughter when she remained across the country with her father, who has, of course, spent his entire life in and out of jail. Shocker! At least Karen’s love interests keep with the theme of the show. That’s dedication.
The evening, bleeps and all, is drawing to a close, so W2 wants to know what regrets the ladies may have from the season. Karen wishes her beef with Drita hadn’t turned into a love triangle over Lee, while Renee hates she gained so much weight. Carla regrets her fight with Renee. Drita extends a (seemingly under the radar apology) pseudo olive branch by saying she hates fighting with Karen, and if she could go back in time and call Karen when she started dating Lee she would. So the reunion ends on a tense but hopeful note…the perfect diving board for a criz-azy season two premiere this fall.
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE REUNION AND THE RECAP? DO YOU THINK THE MOB WIVES HAVE BURIED THE HATCHET? DO YOU THINK DRITA WILL FOLLOW THROUGH WITH HER DIVORCE FROM LEE?