Basketball Wives Reunion Recap: Reunions Are More Fun With Violence…So This One Was Just OK

It’s reunion time for the ladies of Basketball Wives with the first part of the drama (if you can call it that) airing last night. Former NBA star John Salley is back to regulate host the ladies as they reminisce about the third season.

Tami’s wig hair combined with Shaunie’s dress distracts me at first, but a clip of Royce blasting the ladies on last season’s reunion brings me back up to speed. When questioned about the new attitude she found last season, Royce explains she is just being herself. And the real Royce wears Larry Byrd tube socks, not Gucci shoes, to go luxury car shopping. Royce calls out Jen for claiming Jen’s makeover of Royce was her “good deed for the day.” Not one to be one-upped in passive aggression, Jen says, “I don’t hear anyone talking. What’s the next question?”

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO READ THE REST!

Up next it’s Royce vs. Evelyn. There is a montage of their hate, with a lot of frenemies, hos, bums, and smack talking being thrown around…right before they threw drinks on one another. They discuss the seemingly non-existent twitter war, as neither will cop to saying anything ugly or mean about the other. Evelyn rolls her eyes a lot and Royce’s brow gets furrowed as she accuses Evelyn of retreating something hateful the day before the reunion filmed. Clearly caught in a lie, Evelyn utilizes Jen’s tactic… “Do you hear something?”

It’s non-mutha f*$%in’ factor time, as John Salley takes us back to the Evelyn/Tami showdown, t-shirts and all. I had forgotten that Evelyn compared their friendship to Ike and Tina Turner…and she may be on to something there. Together, the pair gifts John and his wife with autographed shirts. Tami explains how well she and Evelyn were able to reconcile, and it’s refreshing to see Tami not popping someone in the face.

Jen is next in the hot seat, as John shows clips of post-deciding-to-divorce Stella Jen getting her groove back. John says Jen must have put on her big girl panties to make such a move, and Jen reveals that panties are one article of clothing she doesn’t often wear. Thanks for that information, Jen. She says she knows what it feels like to be a basketball wife and she’s ready to leave all of that behind. John expresses he had doubts on whether she’d actually file, and there’s a quick shot of Suzie. I’d forgotten about her up until this point. Shaunie and Evelyn both reveal that while they knew Jen would file for divorce, they were a bit surprised that she did it as quickly as she did. John brings up the divorce party, and Suzie says, “It was a great party.” Finally, she talks too! That leaves Meeka as the only wife still mute at the twenty minute mark.

The divorce party, along with Eric’s reaction to the divorce (with both his “associate” and Jen) are recapped. John Salley acts as shocked as if it’s the first time he’s seen the drink drench. All of Jen’s girls have her back…Evelyn is close to tears defending her friend and discussing Eric’s actions. On to happier Jen topics, Al Reynolds isn’t a matchmaker, as she is not dating divorce party make-out partner William. Jen admits that she has a secret crush and Royce, out of nowhere, asks, “Are you sleeping with him?” Tami about loses it…she loves some Royce antics. And honestly so do I. John teases the viewers by revealing that VH1 reached out to Eric to tell his side of the drink-throwing story, and we’ll know if Eric will do so after the commercial break. Yikes VH1. Do you know anything about ratings? The scorned and violent former cast mates always wait to show up on the part two of the reunion. Duh.

My bad. John is smarter than I think. Eric isn’t here…but I’m banking that he shows up next Monday. No worries, it finally time to recognize that Suzie is in attendance at the reunion. Suzie acknowledges Meeka (finally she speaks!) and says that she should drop her lawsuit against Tami and stop running her mouth. Tami’s sly smile makes it obvious that she’s happy Suzie is back in her corner again. There is a lot of talk of Meeka being thirsty. For? Oh, publicity. Evelyn loves a desert reference (remember Jen’s Sahara lady parts from the finale?) and thinks Meeka is drying out she’s so thirsty for attention. Meeka claims not to hire her own paparazzi, and even John Salley seems skeptical when she denies it. Tami slides across the coffee table to address Meeka, but it’s just for giggles as it’s not worth Tami’s time to fight.

Oh. Em. Gee. Evelyn and Meeka start arguing about custom hula hoop earrings and which one jumped on that trend first. Um, is being the first to wear God awful jewelry a positive thing? Evelyn then gets into a screaming match with Meeka’s earring designer who just happens to be in the audience. So John, is your wife interested in being on the next season?

For some reason, VH1 thinks it makes sense to marry Evelyn’s reunion with her father Nengo to Tami’s realization she’s no longer her daughters’ momager. Yes, they both happened on a trip to NYC, but that’s where the comparison ends. Reaching, VH1. Evelyn gets teary as she explains her growing relationship with her father. Tami is still fired as her daughters’ manager, but now her daughters are no longer a duo. Everyone loses wins!

Meeka is front and center, and gracious! Watching clips of her this season makes me realize how much of a sh*t talker she is! Tami tells Meeka she’s good at playing both sides. I always forget that Tami is the only mean girl who is still cool with Royce. She defends Royce saying that it was wrong of Meeka to say she couldn’t vibe with a stripper. Royce raises her hand, and once called on, she interjects that she was never a stripper. Tami is like, “I know, you’re a dancer.” Royce reminds her friend that she just called her a stripper as John Salley confirms, “I totally heard stripper.” Regardless of much clothing Royce wore when she danced, Tami still thinks Meeka played both sides and wasn’t loyal to either.

John shows a happy and friendly montage based on Meeka and Tami’s relationship this past season…fun times! I didn’t realize how close that VH1 intern was to losing a finger as he tried to break up their Italy brawl. Tami thinks Meeka is a liar, and Meeka thinks that Tami is bully. Tami decides she wants to make a t-shirt that says, MLC for Meeka “Liar” Claxton. Meeka has her own ghetto shirt line in mind with THR for Tami “Hoodrat” Roman. Honestly, I think I’d buy and wear both. The first part of the reunion ends with Liar and Hoodrat talking over one another until John Salley interrupts with a NMF Factor joke. Totes appropriate.

Next week’s part two seems to be a lot of Meeka bashing, with a little bit of Jen/Royce feud mixed in for good measure. Fingers crossed that Eric makes an appearance!

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE FIRST HALF OF THE REUNION? DO YOU THINK SHAUNIE WILL OPEN HER MOUTH FOR PART TWO? AS SEASON THREE COMES TO A CLOSE, WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BASKETBALL WIFE?

X