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It’s like Christmas, Jersey Shore style with two new episodes airing within 72 hours of one another. And of course, MTV needs to capitalize on the VMAs by finishing the Rawn/Mike smackdown right before the awards show airs. Brilliant.

The show begins with Sammi stupidly placing herself between a roided Rawn and a flipping out crazy insane Situation. Mike loses it and slams his head into the concrete wall before crumbling to the ground. Intelligence just abounds on this show. JWoww attempts to get some sort of reaction from a dazed and confused Mike, while the ever gentlemanly Rawn mocks Sammi’s tears and blames her for not telling him about Mike’s gossip sooner. “Stawp Rawn!” Poor Sammi is able to get out the way before being manhandled by her sensitive (ex) boyfriend.

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Mike is alive and well, jumping up to punch the wall and call out Ronnie. The two start cage fighting and Sammi is shoved around in the middle before the pair is tackled by some Mtv payrolled muscle who have quite a time separating the douches dudes. Once apart, they continuing talk to crap to one another before Rawn switches gears and starts cussing out Sam. Sam won’t have any of it, and goes toe to toe with her unstable beau while the crying female housemates beg her to walk away from him for her own safety. It’s all very healthy. Rawn tells Sam that she means nothing to him and he’s been calling girls since he’s been in Italy. Meanwhile, the peanut gallery, Vinny and Pauly are making jokes about the Situation’s situation.

Rightfully fearful that Mike has a concussion, Snooki and JWoww call an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Mike is taken out on a backboard by the Italian EMS, while Sam seethes about Jenni’s attempts to calm Rawn. Sam thinks that is her job, although he flies back into a rage at the sight of her. Once Sammi puts herself to bed, Rawn begins to feel badly about what happened with Mike. Crying, he tells Jenni he just did his best. Give me a break, you freak. Vinny notes the most obvious of situations…Mike’s injuries are not a result of the fight, but rather of him getting so enraged that he rams his head into a wall. Who does that? No, seriously, who else does that?

Pauly stays with Mike in the hospital while Rawn goes to apologize to a bawling Sammi. He’ll be in the smush room when she’s composed enough to talk to him. Of course he will. On his way there, Rawn tries to hug it out and apologize to Vinny who tells Rawn he’s a scary person. Truer words, Vin, truer words. Once in the smush room, Rawn tells Sam that while he loves her more than he loves himself (self-hatred much?), he thinks they are toxic as a couple. Sammi’s jealousy rears its head again when all she wants to know about are the girls he’s been calling since in Italy. Sam determines that she wants nothing to do with Rawn and he gets pissed she won’t let him speak his mind. How does she expect him to clear his conscience? Geez.

Ronnie decides it’s time to go home, so he’s packing up his Ed Hardy gear and handcuff jewelry to head back to the States. Sammi’s been playing with his mind, and that is not okay. Yeah, that is totally how I perceived it as well. Vinny tries to reason with Ronnie, telling him he needs to stay so he can grow as a person. He’s so Dr. Phil (Rawn’s words, not mine). Vinny takes a call from an Italian florist which he quickly nips in the bud (flower pun intended. Boom!). As much as Rawn hates Mike, he decides to reassemble his bed so he has a place to sleep in the event he’s allowed to come home. He’s such a softie. Mike comes back home wearing a dead sexy neck brace. Rawn gives Mike a feeble apology, and something tells me round two will happen shortly.

Ronnie needs to take some time to hang out with the person who means the most to him….Rawn. Ronnie and Rawn enjoy working out together. Snooki is excited about flowers from Jionni. Vinny thinks the house is back together since Mike’s head trauma wasn’t as bad as once thought. The roommates are beyond over the drama created by the Rawn/Sam dynamic. They meet Ronnie for lunch and express their concern. Rawn, a true romantic, opines that you can’t help who you love. So deep, Ronnie.

Snooks takes a call from Jionni and she tries to bring him out of his shell a bit. He’s sheltered and doesn’t like talking having phone sex knowing that her roommates and a camera crew are listening. What a prude. Because she can’t let sleeping dogs lie is the bigger person, Sammi selflessly returns all the gifts Rawn has gotten her while in Italy. She places them all in a pile in his bed so he won’t overlook them. Mike feels alienated because no one is showing him enough attention, and the roommates feel like they are in plaintiffs’ lawyer commercial when they see his stellar neck brace. Rawn finds Sammi’s loot and proceeds to throw it violently into a trash can. Sam can’t believe he’s acting so stupidly when she was trying to be mature by returning the stuff. But, if Rawn’s going to throw it away, she isn’t above fishing it out of the garbage and reclaiming it. Don’t judge.

Rawn awkwardly acts like nothing really happened towards Mike, which sends the Situation into a fit of giggles. Mike explains that he headbutted the wall to 1) avoid Rawn beating the crap out of him; and 2) to look crazy enough that Rawn wouldn’t want to continue fighting him. Mission accomplished. Snooks is thrilled to hear laughter coming from the guys’ room. The girls head out to dinner pre-clerb, and reflect on how strong the female bonds are this season as opposed to previous seasons. Jenni, Snooki, and Deena try to advise Sam on how to deal with the guys’ sh*t stirring. Mike is under strict doctor’s orders to stay home for a week, but the rest of the gentlemen head out to the clerb, excited to be partying with Single Rawn.

In the clerb Pauly D‘s hair offends a local who isn’t too thrilled his lady friend is grinding up on the DJ. Pauly can’t just continue dancing, he must follow the guy who looked at him funny and incite a riot in the clerb. Egos. Pfffttt. Vinny is able to block Pauly and later reveals he was “white-boy wasted.” Exactly what kind of wasted is that? Snooki finds a soft spot for Mike. While she can’t forgive him for the gossip he’s spread, she doesn’t want to have anger between them. Mike takes this as they are in love and Jionni’s toast. Tomatoes, tom-mah-toes. Rawn contemplates bringing home a grenade just to get a rise out of Sammi (last season, anyone?), but thinks better of it because he’s “an adult.” Instead, he brings home a dozen roses for his ex. Her first question is, where is the other girl and why are you being weird? They are taking the fun out of dysfunction. Doing what they do best, Rawn trashes the flowers and Sam rescues them…if she’d only said thank you right off the bat. Good gracious.

No previews for Thursday, so until then we’re on pins and needles!

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE EPISODE AND THE RECAP? WILL SAMMI AND RAWN RECONCILE? WILL THE NECK BRACE COMPANY PULL AN ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH AND PAY MIKE NOT TO WEAR THE APPARATUS?

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