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Millionaire Matchmaker time! Tonight Patti Stanger follows her own advice and seeks a professional to help her. She explains she needs help just like her clients do- can you say that again? Once the balancing with the energist is done, Patti moves on bigger problems, and this week the problems seem pretty big.

Patti’s plastic surgeon client Frank Stile is a crazy control freak who wakes up his sleepover guests at 5 AM and kicks them out. He has the same problem every other plastic surgeon has- he wants perfection. He shows off to Bravo his ten million dollar lifestyle including uber-expensive cars, a huge house, two cute dogs, and a scene of him cleaning his pool. Hold up, ten million dollar man cleans his own pool?

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Emma Ridley Paris Hilton in 20 years is a pole dance teacher who has had her fair share of marriages. Her last husband she met after her son lit her house of fire out of anger his parents were divorcing. He was the contractor who helped clean it all up. I can’t make this stuff up.

Patti sets up Frank with a crazy-eyed Ramona Singer’s brother therapist who is very excited about everything. He even tells Franks he is coocoo for coco puffs. Is that new therapist terminology?

Miss Hot Mess Emma Ridley gets a makeover. Her hair is straightened, her clothes are conservative, but like any five year old Emma begins pouting. This scene reminds me of a mother trying to dress her daughter for school. In this case Patti is the mom trying to dress her daughter Emma in sensible clothes. And the daughter only wants wear her pretty pink dress.

Instead of the tiresome mixer, Patti holds a two-way mirror screening letting the millionaires pick their dates by watching them secretly behind a mirror. Emma in her pretty pink dress is not looking forward to her first day of school. Frank is being a good student taking mad notes on all his suitors and trying to pay attention. Emma, on the other hand, is playing with her phone, complaining she is hungry, trying to distract Frank, and talking about random things.

Frank acts like her teacher and tells her to take notes or pay attention. She begins to pay attention to a cop being interviewed for her. She decides she does not want a cop because he probably won’t let her spoke pot. At least she is paying attention!

Finally, both millionaires find a match. Frank picks Natalie who is a beautiful brunette but sort of young. Emma has Kelly, a very nice businessman from Hawaii.

Frank wakes his date’s butt up at seven in the morning to go practice MMA fighting. The girl is a whole lot nicer than me and actually agrees to go. She is then forced into a ring with a professional female fighter. This is the part of the date I would say “Hell to the no!” but Natalie holds her own and fights the girl.

Kelly meets Emma at her pole dancing studio. What is up with Emma’s hair? It looks like a bird’s nest. She surprises Kelly with a pole dancing routine. Hellooo, sexy. And Kelly is pretty disgusted. Can you blame him?

Dinner is next for both couples. Neither one of the couples connect during dinner, and they both have their fair share of awkward silences. Natalie and Frank will never hit it off because he is an early controlling bird, and she isn’t. Emma and Kelly will never last because she is crazy and he does not like pole dancing.

Frank is still looking and trying to find a lady who wakes up at 5AM. Emma decides she wants to be in a relationship with herself which Patti says is a good match- is she counting that as one of her oh so many success stories?

TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHTS MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER? WHO IS CRAZIER PATTI OR HER CLIENTS?

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