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On last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Jerewhinah tried and tried his damndest but the numbers just didn’t add up. Rachel was honored by The Hollywood Reporter as the top stylist in the world and they styled a huge Elle Magazine bikini shoot.

Rachel is strategizing with Joey and Jerewhinah on an upcoming Elle Shoot. The idea is bikinis, big costume jewelry and old Hollywood glam. Original.

While Rachel is doing what she does best: working, Rodger is doing what he does best: complaining! Rodger goes to his buddy’s house to have coffee and whine about how busy and self-absorbed his wife is and to obsess about how he can’t control her. He doesn’t want to be Mr. Mom; he just wants Rachel to sit at home and pop out babies ala Donna Reed.

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Joey and Jerewhinah are preparing for the Elle shoot. Jerewhinah discovers Rachel has not been copying him on emails regarding the shoot and gets miffed. He just wants to be included, guys! He seriously should just wear a t-shirt that says: “Love Me!” Jerewhinah wants Joey to ask Rachel to forward the emails to him, but Joey is like “Bish, please – she don’t have time for your dramz. You’re the loooowest on this totem pole, suck up and deal!” Joey has earned his badges on Team Zoe and he is not sacrificing them for no man! Joey gives ‘winah some additional tips on dealing with Zoe – just always look busy and don’t make eye contact!

Jerewhinah tries to be relevant by sulking and pulling some additional shoes for the shoot. Ok, I feel for the kid. He just wants to have a great job and be on TV and seem important and sadly, Joey stole his thunder as the cool gay whom Rachel adores. On a side note – I NEED that shoe room! #jealousbitch. Mandana shows up and he whines to her about not feeling important because he didn’t get some emails. She’s like, ‘oh god, why did I stop to talk to him?’

Everyone keeps reminding Jerewhinah that at least he gets to go to the shoot – that’s something! Mandana also gives him some tips on dealing with the dictatress, La Zoe of West Beverly. She’s fearsome!

On the day of the shoot, Jerewhinah tries to prove his worth by bossing Lead Stylist Jordan around and telling her how to set up. Jordan, who I think is mute or something, predictably did not respond. Is there a reason why she doesn’t have a bigger role on this show? Is she too smart to rope herself up in such a ridiculous circus? Some faux drama occurs when Jerewhinah can’t remember which bag contained the “essential show piece” Lanvin and Chanel jewelry. Of course he found it moments before Rachel arrived!

Rachel and Joey are riding in the car together. Rachel claims she can no longer go places in the car alone because she is so pregnant. Except, she’s never gone anywhere in the car alone – what was her excuse before pregnancy? Perpetual loneliness? Constant need for validation and adoration? Boredom? In the car Joey quizzes her about her shoes – Rachel is now wearing wedge heels. For support. Good lord.

At the shoot, Rachel barley acknowledges the lowly ‘Miah and immediately starts panicking about the amount of editing she will have to do. I guess that’s what you get when your maxim is “options, options, options!” Rachel upsets the over-sensitive Jerewinah again when she assigns bestie Joey to Rodger’s job of taking personal photos of the shoot. It’s not really an honor to be assuming Rodger’s job, Jerewhinah. Trust me…

Rachel reveals she is happy. Not because she is about to welcome her child into the world, but because she is surrounded by clothes. Rachel loves styling editorial because of the fantasy – and it does seem super fun. The style for today’s shoot is Sixties/Seventies mixed with Marlene Dietrich, old-hollywood glamour. Joey and Rachel goof off in between looks and take funny photos of Rachel looking “faux sexy.”

Jerewhinah pontificates that he is not here to be Rachel’s friend, like SOME PEOPLE (ahem), he’s here to work and be a stick in the mud! Joey dubs every look “hooker” he calls everything hooker. It’s like the only adjective he knows, or something. Rachel and Joey are buddy-buddy for the whole day, which Jerewhinah is convinced they are doing to intentionally upset him. He repeats over and over in his mind little encouragements, like: “focus on the clothes.” Rachel thinks Joey is a genius and a natural: he makes her laugh and gets things done. Jeremiah – not so much.

On set, Jerewhinah fails Styling 101 when he doesn’t have a robe and towel at the ready for the completely mute model in between outfits.

The Hollywood Reporter is honoring Rachel by featuring her on the cover as the Top Hollywood Stylist ever in their stylist issue. Rachel is still on the fence about whether or not to do the shoot, since Rodger doesn’t want his full-term wife to over-extend herself. But the important people in her life – her “team” want her to do the shoot. Screw Rodger, she’s doing it! Joey astutely muses that this is the first time Rachel has been on the cover of a magazine for something positive. Remember Nicole Richie Anorexia-gate?!

Jerewhinah corners Marissa to pitch a new way for him to be relevant on Team Zoe. He can launch and create Rachel Zoe Home!!!!!! RIGHT?! I totes called it! Next season it will be all about White Throw Pillows with a graphic RZ in gray letters. Cue the Bravo Shopping Network! Dead silence from Marissa in response. Marissa explains the company is not ready to go in that direction, even though it is a long-term objective, but she promises to talk to Rodger about it.

Joey and Rachel are prepping for the HR shoot. Rachel has nothing to wear because she refuses to don maternity clothing – an accomplishment she is proud of. They discuss how she will look during her perfect birth, which will compliment her perfect pregnancy. She thinks Joey must do her hair and make-up pre-hospital and she is going to wear her long Chanel duster. Oh, how nice. Hope no afterbirth gets on that $3K sweater!

Rachel is worried about Rodger seeing her butt in the open-backed hospital gown she will be forced to wear during labor. Isn’t Rodger seeing your butt how that baby got there in the first place, Rach? Oh who am I kidding… they’ve never had sex.

I’m surprised she didn’t commission Karl Largerfeld to custom make her a Chanel hospital gown for the occasion! What kind of influential fashion person is she if she can’t even finagle the simplest of favors!? Rachel reflects on how her perfect pregnancy is a reward because she’s never asked anyone for favors or help throughout her entire career! WHAT?! Excuse me… she has like 10 employed bitches, including El Rodg!

Rodger and Marissa discuss Jerewhinah’s future with the company. Rodger is concerned about his relevance considering the costs of employing him vs. his value and the numbers aren’t adding up. Rodger exnays the idea of a home collection (for this season!). They agree that his lack of experience is a liability and he needs to be let go. What if Rachel actually wants to be a mom post-pregnancy and doesn’t want to spend all her time at the office?! Who will train Baby Miah on styling then?! Brad?

Rachel is worried she looks fat instead of pregnant in her vintage tiger-striped Halston that she is wearing for her THR shoot.Rodger is also featured in the shoot, but he is mega-high maintenance, of course, and complaining constantly about inane things like his own comfort. They actually took a great picture. Following the couples shoot, Rachel and Rodger agree this is her last hurrah until after the baby comes. Rodger brings up the Jerewhinah thing and Rachel refuses to make a decision, citing she is too pregnant to make one effectively and wants Rodger to be the bad cop.

I do think the last look for the shoot was amazing and I loved the dress!

Jerewhinah gets his day in court as he meets with Rodger. He is delusional in thinking Rodger is going to be all over his idea for RZH and want him to start designing those pillows ASAP! Rodger morphs into serious businessman, stops whining, and gives it to Jerewhinah straight. There is no place for him in the company at this time – especially with Rachel about to give birth and Jerewhinah having no experience with the thing their company actually does. Clothes!

Jerewhinah is shocked, he thought he was hired to be the “Jere of all trades!” (HA!HAAHA!) and he bent over backwards to design their amazing house! Rodger is grateful for the favor and makes the distinction between business and personal. Basically he admits they used Jerewhinah for cheap labor and discount decorating before cutting him loose.

Rodger feels Jerewhinah is not a natural stylist. He doesn’t want to be stylist and home design is his calling, essentially he is the “home authority of a company that doesn’t do anything with home!” Wow. Rodger feels the numbers just don’t add up and they are done employing him for the “day-to-day” stuff and just like that Jerewhinah is out the door. Poor Whinah!

Next Week: No one is allowed to talk to Rachel about jobs. Jerewhinah is upset about getting fired. Joey is put in charge of big styling assignment with Molly Sims – who hates everything he pulls! Rachel is going to hospital, but first doing hair and make-up.

Thoughts on the episode and the photoshoots? Do you think Rodger was right to let Jerewhinah go or should they have invested in his potential skills?

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