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Last night’s Survivor had it all…lost love (what will Ozzy do without Elyse?), drama (Mikayla or Edna?), pious musings (Coach and Brandon…take your pick), backstabbing (um, Albert?), a touching after-school special moment (Dawn and Cochran are finally invited to the party!), and of course, a rousing final speech (courtesy of Crazy Pants). It was epic. Oh, and there was a shuffleboard challenge.

Back at the beach, Ozzy is flabbergasted by his fellow Team Pretty members for voting against the alliance. He declares himself a free agent, and both Keith and Whitney think he’s being just a tad dramatic for taking Elyse’s elimination so personally. Dawn calls him out for not playing as honestly as he wants his teammates to play, and Ozzy is prompted to admit that he has found the immunity idol. To each his own is Ozzy’s new way of life with Savaii. The following the say, his tribe mates think he’ll come around, but the following day he’s still pouting. The Savaii tribe is in agreement that he’s being an annoying cry baby, and Dawn and Cochran are finally part of the in-crowd.

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The Upolu are still enjoying the fruits (and pork) of their nasty pig win. Benjamin Coach feels confident in the fact that he hasn’t shared his immunity idol find with the whole tribe. He realizes Brandon Hantz Crazy Pants will feel betrayed for not being let in on the secret, but what can he do about that now? BHCP sets out looking for the idol and manages to find the third clue. He’s searching high and low for an idol that is no longer hidden. Coach struggles with playing the game as a Christian man while withholding information from his friend. Albert (how did I miss he was a dating coach??) is worried that Brandon is quite the loose cannon. Coach begins to see a little more Russell and and little less Brandon.

It’s time for the Redemption Island duel. Sophie and Rancher Rick are watching from Upolu, while Keith and a sulking Ozzy (clearly there to see his boo Elyse) are in the audience for Savaii. Christine breaks down when Jeff Probst reminds her that she has spent more time on Redemption Island than in the actual game. The duel is a jungle version of shuffleboard. Will Christine manage to go undefeated? Well, from the first shot, it doesn’t appear that she will…Rancher Rick cheers her on, and she returns the love by giving him the finger. The women have pretty good aim until Elyse knocks out one of her own pucks. Elyse is able to tie it up, but Christine is able to win her fourth straight duel. Ozzy is sure to be super menstrual pouty about this turn of events as he watches Elyse leave the game for good.

Sophie and Rancher Rick relay Christine’s message to Upolu. Edna’s strategy is to buddy up to Coach in an attempt to weasel her way back into the alliance. Coach confides in Edna that the plan is to vote off Mikayla next. I am sure BHCP will be thrilled to hear that news! After watching the duel, Ozzy realizes that throwing a temper tantrum was not in his best interest, and he realigns himself with Keith. He apologizes to the trifecta that is Marijuana Jim, Cochran, and Dawn. MJ is thrilled at his puppet-master skills.

So far, so good. The immunity challenge seems to be void of any animal innards. Aw, this one seems easy…build a wheelbarrow, maneuver said wheelbarrow through an obstacle course collecting two loads of coconuts, disassemble wheelbarrow and reassemble in the form of a sling shot, finally using said sling shot to hurl earlier gathered coconuts to knock over mask-themed targets. The first team to knock over all their targets wins–seems simple enough, right?

The reward is a trip to some naturally occurring water slides and a picnic lunch. Because Upolu has one extra person, Edna gets to sit out this challenge. Upolu races ahead due to Dawn and Ozzy’s inability to steer their wheelbarrow. The blue tribe is already shooting coconuts before Savaii is able to get their stuff together. Each tribe has knocked over two targets, and Mikayla is being set up as the dead weight on Upolu as she hasn’t hit a target. In a Cinderella story if there ever was one (for this episode of Survivor at least), Marijuana Jim manages to down the winning target! Savaii gets immunity. Shockingly, Coach begins ranting about how Mikalya lost the challenge for Upolu. The reward seems to have solidified the unity of the Savaii tribe. Ozzy professes his sincere fondness for his tribe mates. Elyse who? Even Cochran strips off his sweater vest to endure enjoy a slide down the rocks.

Because Mikayla wouldn’t hurl her slingshot with two hands, per Coach’s orders, he has deemed her “uncoachable” and thus worthy of elimination. Albert straight up tells Mikayla his plan is to get rid of Edna, so she needn’t be concerned if she hears about Coach’s vendetta against her. Is Upolu the Savaii of last week, going against their self-proclaimed leader? Albert approaches Ranger Rick and Sophie about how strong Mikayla is compared to Edna in physical challenges, and how strategic Edna could potentially be. BHCP is even on Team Mikayla, wishing he could “turn back time” (how very Cher of him) and not have his beef with the lingerie football player. Brandon agrees that Edna needs to go, but he’s already given his word to that he would vote for Mikayla. Sorry, Al! Albert discusses his plan with Coach who is not at all on board. Rancher Rick is pegged as the deciding vote with Coach, Edna, and BHCP voting for Mikayla and Sophie, Albert, and Mikayla voting for Edna.

At tribal council, the merge between the tribes is debated. Jeff questions if it’s better to keep physically stronger players to enable the tribe to get to the merge with one extra person than the other tribe, or whether it’s better to keep players who are sure to be loyal after the merge, regardless of physical strength. Brandon is preaching that loyalty is more important, but Albert makes two good points. First, loyalty may not be such a factor if you get to the merge one player down, and second, apparent loyalty can be faked, while athleticism cannot. Brandon does not like Albert’s points at all. Brandon wants character, not money! Heck, vote him off if the decision isn’t based on loyalty! Brandon even says that he wants to keep Mikayla and doesn’t trust Edna, but by God, he gave his word! It’s quite a spew of crazy speech. So for whom did Rancher Rick vote? Mikayla! Lucky break there, Edna, and good luck Albert and Sophie…going against Coach you’re going to need it! At least Mikayla and Christine can bond over being Upolu castaways during their time shared on Redemption Island.

Next week, Ozzy reveals to Cochran that if necessary, he’d take one for the team and go to Redemption Island. At Upolu, BHCP is blipping louder on Coach’s radar after his outburst at tribal council.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID RANCHER RICK MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE BY VOTING OFF MIKAYLA? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS MORE IMPORTANT STRATEGICALLY–LOYALTY OR BRAWN?

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