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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kandi, NeNe and Cynthia have an all-girls weekend in Miami and I mean allll girls as it turns out to be lesbian pride weekend. Kim celebrates her 43rd 33rd birthday with a surprise party and Phaedra learns more about the mortuary business — like her husband Apollo is not down with owning a funeral home!
Kandi, NeNe and Cynthia are headed to Miami. Kandi is surprised she was invited since NeNe has never really liked her and all. NeNe probably thinks Kandi is on the outs with Kim over Tardy For The Party and is hoping to recruit her for Team N. Bravo gives us a little flashback of last year’s RHOA trip to Miami and it involved neck snappin’ and eyeball poppin’! When the ladies arrive at the incredibly posh hotel they are greeted with cocktails. My kinda place – and NeNe’s (she announces she lives for a cocktail)!
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Kandi is concerned that she may be trapped in paradise with a crazy biotch and doesn’t totally trust NeNe. The talk immediate turns to sex and NeNe wants to know if her new friend Kandi has been “thowin them legs back” (code for having some sexytimes)! NeNe makes it her mission to find Kandi a man – except this weekend is all about chicks since the menz seem to have disappeared!
At Kim’s (she is 36 weeks pregnant and 33 years-old — allegedly), Kroy wants to throw Kim a surprise party since it’s their first as a couple. In cahoots with Sweetie they arrange for Kroy and Kim to be tardy for the party on a dinner date while Sweetie arranges it behind the scenes! Kroy doesn’t know what to get his humble and low-maintenance lady love… um… Kory a vibrating Pilates machine? Just a tip: a gold digger wants gold!
Phaedra pays a visit to Willie Watkins’ funeral home. Apparently Willie, like Phaedra, is always “dead sharp” looking and he is just the man Phaedra wants to mentor her through the funeral home process. Willie has some advice: don’t be a master of money, keep them sexy parts covered, focus on compassion and “it is what it is.” Luckily Phaedra has her “prayer cloth” on hand to keep her tantalizing kneecaps and other lady gems under wraps in case of pesky lusty spirits. Phaedra also carries holy water in her purse at all times. One can never be too careful! Personally I prefer Purell for those just in case moments, but whatev! Phaedra believes this business is her calling – so long as people have their insurance policies up to date!
Back in the MIA the ladies have lunch and talk chicks with chunk, money in the bank and the Sheree vs. NeNe in “toof wars.” According to NeNe, it’s a fact that she is rich and she believes Sharee and Kim have been conspiring together. NeNe is so over those haters and doesn’t want to talk about them anywhere: not on the moon or in the stars, not in Vegas or in China, not in Atlanta, not in the Bahamas – she will not talk about them at all. Uh-huh. It’s like Green Eggs and Ham the Hater Housewife version!
Kandi is well aware that many people with “new money” aren’t really rich at all, but they sure are in a hurry to pretend. Cynthia wonders why everyone else can talk about Big Poppa’s their money but not NeNe? Kandi explains she is treading carefully with NeNe because NeNe has two sides: Fun and angry black woman. The ladies discover the reason there are no menz anywhere is because NeNe scared them away it’s Lesbian pride weekend. Perhaps Kim and DJ Tracey will show up!? Ha! NeNe admits she is confused by lesbians, but she won’t discriminate where drinks and fun are concerned! Although she is strictly dickly!
Sheree takes her 14-year-old son, Kairo, shoe shopping. Kairo is very shy. In fact, he barely speaks to Sheree. Sheree feels Kairo would have benefited from a more prominent and positive male role model in his life and is disappointed her ex-husband Bob did not engage more. Sheree lets Kairo know she spoke to his father about him being more involved. It was nice to see Sheree in the concerned mama role.
Back in Miami, NeNe is confronting all the changes in her life head-on by looking at property. A very ex-pen-sive property. See, NeNe wants to leave Haterville (aka Atlanta) because all these bitches have driven her insane. You can take the hating biotch out of Atlanta but you’re still a hating biotch, NeNe! NeNe is scoping out a $9M property that Kandi and everyone else in America is positive she cannot afford, nonetheless what a fantastic house! NeNe has been making “good money” and has far surpassed what Gregg was able to provide, but just because she is single and rich she is not any man’s sugar momma. Is the term “rich” relative — just as the term “famous”?
After touring the dream house the ladies make their way to the beach where poor Kandi is terrorized by NeNe’s nip-slip and embarrassed when the ladies start discussing her weight. Kandi admits she has way too much “playground” going on. NeNe has no room to talk about anyone’s thighs I might add and I think Kandi looked great!
Sex talk weekend continues and NeNe wants to know if Kandi is still celibate? Apparently she lasted 10 months thanks to “toys”! NeNe reveals she, too, is celibate (why am I not surprised) but doesn’t like toys – she does not need her coochie to get third degree burns! Kandi offers to get her a vibrator, but NeNe is looking for someone to whisper sweet nothings and all a vibrator says is bzzzzzzzzzzzz. Aaaahhh… the sweet sounds of romance. What is Kandi looking for in a man – someone who can kiss “both lips”? Oh, and in case you were wondering if any of our other Atlanta housewives are interested in lady the pond – the answer is nope, Kandi might dip her foot in the pool but that’s as far as it goes! Kim stands alone on that one!
After scouring the beach for a man – any man – they spot a couple potentials playing frisbee. The ladies make an attempt to join them and the very forward balding furry one seems to like our Ms. Leakes who is so incredibly awkward! Isn’t she a former stripper? After a few blatant attempts by the boys to stay in front of the cameras, with NeNe offering up Kandi’s cell phone number, the ladies bail. NeNe explains she’s not ready to date as she still has Gregg and his divorce settlement on the brain!
Sheree and Kim meet for dinner. Immediately they start talking NeNe and how she has burned every bridge among their friend group. Kim is shocked by NeNe’s behavior on Apprentice with A-list people! Um… since when is Star Jones A-list? By that measurement Kim and NeNe are way down there in the N-List category! Sheree believes working with Trump made NeNe delusional and just like on a stripper pole; as fast as you go up you come down!
Phaedra and Apollo discuss opening a funeral home. Phaedra wants to open the Saks Fifth Avenue of funeral homes and Saks Fifth Avenue or Wal-Mart, Apollo is not interested! Phaedra likes the dead because they’re quiet – much different from her co-stars! Apparently Apollo’s current line of work, which involves relocation and asset recovery, isn’t particularly long-term. Phaedra pretends she doesn’t really know what her husband does but it seems to me she was doing a lot of word shuffling to avoid saying REPO! Phaedra isn’t worried about Apollo getting on board – she thinks he’ll come around to her way of thinking. I say: It is what it is!
It’s Kim’s birthday! Kim, Kroy and her cleavage are going out to dinner to cover-up her surprise party. Over dinner Kim is planning her post-pregnancy plastic surgery and a margarita binge. I give it two days post-partum before she busts out a Marlboro Light! Kroy reveals he wants her to learn to shoot and can’t wait until their son picks out a gun. See Kroy is a country boy, but Kim is book smart. Let that sink in for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.
Kim makes it clear that she is not OK with getting shot in the butt with a BB gun – what it if it knocks some Velashape or implants loose? And the second their son picks up a gun she’s rushing him straight to the nail salon! Afterwards, Kroy gifts Kim with a $32,000 chocolate diamond bangle she’s always wanted. Um… Big Poppa couldn’t get it? Kim only wanted it because it cost $32K and immediately after gushing over the expensive bauble Kim starts talking about peeing! Kim’s so classy – Diamonds, sideboob, and vajayjays.
Meanwhile, the surprise party is about to begin complete with a LV purse cake! Kandi is there even though Kim and her still have weirdness following Kim basically stealing money from her over Tardy For The Party. Kandi thinks Kim’s birthday a good time to get things back on track.
After coming home and rushing right to the bathroom, Kim comes out to a big surprise. Good thing she went pee first! Phaedra jokes that NeNe can come out now and Kim does not laugh! Sheree and Kim believe NeNe’s newfound friendship with Kandi is an ulterior motive and they want to know: If she’s so rich why are her free veneers half-finished? Kim thinks NeNe must have eaten the rest of the teeth! Also where’s the rest of NeNe’s furniture?!
Talk turns to hot sex and how Phaedra is not having it. I love the sex talk in front of Kim’s daughters who looked both riveted and disgusted! While Kim gets a massage all her friends grill Kroy, who dreams of whisking his beweaved Kim to Montana while he opens an outdoor business. She wants fur burp cloths – he can hunt and skin some animal and make her some! They do seem well–matched and even if it doesn’t work out he has to be there for 18 years under the Georgia state laws, according to our legal eagle, Phaedra!
Next week: Kim’s baby shower is eerily similar to Phaedra’s! Apollo and Peter get into it! NeNe and Gregg talk seeing other people!
Watch What Happens Live: The guests are NeNe and Tatiana Ali. NeNe’s thoughts on Kim and Kroy’s marriage is: “Love is beautiful thing” but her face belies that. In fact NeNe has nothing to say to Kim at all! She is also backpeddaling on her comments that she is “rich.” And yes – she is rich; rich in health, in spirit… Surprisingly Tatiana is on NeNe’s side! NeNe also makes it very clear that her “financial ability” is no one’s business but her own – except she wants all of us to know she is rich!
Andy thinks NeNe gives men a Noner when she talks about sex. Ummm…does that mean no action in the male genital region?! Apparently NeNe’s veneers were not free – as she shows off her full-set of pearly whites (new?). NeNe says Kim is still the same old trashbox Kim with the weave and three kids with three different men, Sheree is still broke, and Kandi is still two-faced. NeNe is very happy right now and she is well aware that negative influences are looking to pull her back in!
Tatiana confesses she would not do a duet with Kim, but she would with Kandi. She handled that with class. (hint, hint NeNe). Tatiana also apparently has her own experience with prayer cloths and tantalizing legs!
The game is Atlanta or A-Man-Ta! Round Deux! NeNe gave me the giggles with her name calling – guessing Man-Sheree and Big-Hipped Kandi! Oops and everyone confuses Trashy Kim and man-legged Sheree with drag queens! Andy plays a vintage Tatiana clip of her on Sesame Street. So cute!! Andy also announces Jenni Pulos is engaged! SO happy for her –and I am crossing my fingers for a Flipping Out wedding! The Duggars are crowned “Jackhole of the Week” for being pregnant with baby number 20!
Poll Question: Who’s your favorite Housewife so far? The winner is NeNe!?
THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? IS NENE OUT OF CONTROL AND HAS FAME GONE TO HER HEAD? IS KANDI TWO-FACED? THOUGHTS ON PHAEDRA’S FUNERAL HOME PLANS – WILL APOLLO COME AROUND? ARE KIM AND KROY COMPATIBLE?
lmbo @ 99!! What’s up with all of those faces she makes and noises, lol!!! Blam, bloop!! I’m lmbo!!!!!
Oh God, not “they’re all no different from one another” argument. Neigh Neigh still deserves to be scrutinized the most. It’s her ego who has been inflated.
@99 italiano,
Oh yes chile VERY RICH, in spirit, in health that is now that I have TEEF!
@100 nene,
How about Andy as he kept looking at her trying to see them “why grandmother what big teeth you have” – Better to eat you my dear!!! And poor Tatyana trying to take Nene’s side, I can’t believe how old she looks.
I’m not a big fan of “The Nene”, but I thought she looked pretty good on WWHL, and was pretty funny too.
LOL!!!!!!! Justme1, I was really scared when I first saw her! OMG, Andy was looking like, “what the hell” I’m lmbo!
@101ne ne lawson
Hi ne ne
Who know’s LOL i laugh tho hahahaha… Plunk!!!!!
Joel, I did like her hair, but her teef got bigger!! lol when Andy showed the clip of them talking about her teeth even No No had to laugh! I liked her season 1, but she is too much now!
LOL, @ 106, yea it is too funny when she does that especially when she makes those different faces! BLAM!
@104 Joel,
She did look decent, I just wish she would take the higher road such as…
Question: If you could say one thing to Kim what would it be? Answer: Nothing
She is a grown woman spouting about everyone has hate for her? Why not just say Congrats! That doesn’t mean you won or lost the battle but it does say you’ve moved on and wish others well, end of story!
@103JustMe1
LMAO… What is that sheree told nene after she was trying to get in her face??? Sit down child? OR Sit down darling? sometimes i can’t understand what there saying.
@104Joel- I agree!
I thought all the other housewives spent too much time talking about Nene behind her back on last night episode. Then to her face they kiss her ass. I’m beginning to wonder just who is fake here and who isn’t.
SPM….you knew exactly what the reaction would be when you called Nene a baboon. Don’t try to hide that fact. You relish in the backlash. Little fool.
Regarding Nene’s blog I have to disagree with her!
She is not an angry black woman…she is a very angry black woman! IMO she gives black woman a bad name and I bet everytime she opens that horseface mouth they cringe wondering how much more she can shout and tower over someone! Also way to throw her husband under the bus…”I have surpassed(not sure if that is even the word she used because at your intelligence level I do not think she knows the meaning) Gregs earnings so far”.who cares I am sure he was making even money at one time to take her off the strippers pole! She does not know the meaning of the word respect and let me tell you it isnt about being rich. And who is she to talk about Kandi’s big thighs her mouth is much bigger than both of Kandi’s thighs together! But of course if she were to have someone read this comment to her I would also be a hater! She is very GHETTO!
****(not sure if that is even the word she used because at HER intelligence level I do not think she knows the meaning
****I am sure he was making ENOUGH money at one time to take her off the strippers pole!
@110 Italiano,
You caught me, yes this is the only show that I have to have my subtitles on for like I’m deaf lol! I think it was sit down chile. WTF, who talks like they do, no one so it MUST be an act!
@115 JustMe1 – what about the BBW-Miami or LA – opened a whole new world for me with their language, appearance, fights in public, etc. LOL!!
@115JustMe1
lol I do think is a for nene probably yes as for kandi no … I live in GA for 6 month a few years back but took me about a month and half to understand specially with the thick accent i have an accent also so imagine LOL.. I miss the food
plus the people very VERY nice people…. good times…
I’m confused about why Sheree didn’t know her son’s shoe size. She was 2 sizes off.
I’m convinced that NeNe is a contrived character after seeing the RHW’s special that went in depth about some of the ATL cast members pasts. Didn’t know she was a struggling/ bit-part actress.
Khandi needs to go back to her short hair style. That weave does her no justice.
How does Kim nab these guys anyway? She just not that attractive– inside or out. Kroy seems like a dream but after watching their scenes it doesn’t seem like they have very much in common, except for their baby… and those types of relationships are usually doomed.
Cynthia is really going the extra mile in order to stay NeNe’s friend. Good for her. (Sarcasm)
Phaedra is hilarious to me with her Mmmhmm’s and southern speak/ways. That prayer cloth scene was too much. The whole funeral business storyline is crazy, actually. Love how she shoe-horned him into mentoring her. Oh– and like previous commenters, I did not like Apollo’s comment about her weight. Not cool.
@116 & 117,
I have to admit that’s the hardest part for me, understanding what is said. With BBW’s I don’t bother with the captions because it’s all foul language (which can’t be captioned or deciphered) and they all talk at once, again no use! I am convinced it’s an act for most of them.
I going say this, I’m not racist, but in the area of the south I live in. I have black friends n the saying goes, when some black ppl get a nickel over their breakfast food, they think their shit don’t Stank. Now the truth of the matter is Nene has a little money, but if she don’t manage it well. She won’t have a pot to piss in n a bed to shove it under. Now I say it, don’t care who gets mad. Nene is one step from the poorhouse. Watch how u handle money in these tight times, RHW won’t be for long n u could be FIRED. be careful of what u say bec it will bite u in the ass.
oh, i like nene. i think she is so over the top that she is too funny, and she probably does act this way more so than she normally would because of the expectations of bravo. she was a watered down version of how she is now back in season 1, but as we know, if you don’t get progressively more and more ridiculous and drama-ed then you can start counting down the days until bravo fires you! because all of the rh shows started out almost normal – there was none of this weekly bitch fights and screaming matches in the first season of rhoc, rhny, rhnj, or even rhoa. it just seems silly to “hate” someone so much who you have never met, don’t know who they REALLY are, and are getting paid to be on this silly show that is only for guilty entertainment.
@120SAMRA- OK you are not a racist. What is the saying when your white friends get a nickle over their breakfast food.
I didn’t think Apollo was out of line when he said she is heavy, I just thought he was teasing and meant it like she is thick bc she does have a nice shape, but I can see how some people may dislike that comment. He is so cute and they make a cute couple!! I’m ready for Sunday to see Apollo check that old cranky Peter! Cynthia seems to be afraid of him
@123 nene,
For me I didn’t like it because the camera panned to her face and you could tell she looked saddened by it, as if it hurt or stung.
Yes, according to NeNe we’re all just haters; however, Kandi’s thighs are obviously up for discussion if they’re being exposed on TV. Note: If I never had luv for Kandi, I wouldn’t be so disappointed {it seems like just yesterday we were singing “Fly Above” and now this! Big thighs in shorts on TV—I’ve seen, but big thighs in a Bikini on TV: I’ve never seen it before! I feel mortified by her Actions, Reactions, Remarks, and every Review so far…and this is only the 2nd episode.
Yea I noticed that, but I was like is she mad that he doesn’t want to go into the funeral business! Maybe it did hurt her feelings but I know my hubby and I joke about stuff like that, but every couple is different. Most women want big hips and she has big hips but a cute shape.I hope it didn’t hurt her feelings bc she looks great after having a kid!
@125, what did No No say when she paid cash for her son’s car, “hi haters!” LMBO! No No is a mess
Kandi’s choice of career has me vomiting. what a strange chick.
Why is NeNe selling “I’m Very Rich Bi*ch ” T-Shirts and charging $150 for them?!
They buy a trailer n live fine. There is nothing wrong with a trailer. I went in some trailers that look beautiful n don’t look like trailer. Is that better, do u feel good now?????? JMO
This cast could use an enema! They are all so full of it, each trying to outdo the other and believe they are above it all. Nene is “new rich” and could live comfortably if she continues doing the show, making appearances and living within her means. I think she’ll do it as she’s worn out the Red Vernis Alma LV to death!
She doesn’t have a restaurant more so and eatery, a pizza franchise in LAX. Smart move as thousands daily are trying to catch a bite before and between flights and its accessible to hundreds of airport employees to boot. If she bought it or got it as a gift from her boyfriend, its still HERS. While Phaedra and Kandi are independantly wealthy before HW’s and Cynthia is such a STAN that she wants to wear Nene like fur, I think this has Sheree and Kim pissed. These girls enjoyed making fun of Nene for all the right and wrong reasons. Sheree, of course, had her comeuppance and was brought down a peg or a thousand, but Kim was always the one who came out on top. She admittedly never works hard for anything yet lives well. She’s lived off of men for quite a while and shudders at the idea of hard work, meanwhile Nene was suffering financial difficulties with Greg but was out there hustling for every gig she could get. Kim is pissed Nene’s succeeding, going off on “A-List” celebrities and getting away with it. While Kim has definitely done good for herself, (i.e. by her standards) getting knocked up by a younger ball player who’s married her, she is still competitive and jealous wanting all to remember “Broke Nene”. Atlanta is indeed Haterville and these girls are the Mayor, Commisioner and City Council members.
Thanks @122, I was thinking the same. It is not a black thing! It is a socio-economic thing. No matter the race, when some people get a little $$$, they act like they stuff dont stink.
Poor money management and inflated egos are not exclusive to any race. Anyone who infers or thinks otherwise is just plain dumb, ignorant and not worth engaging.
I’m so confused by Kandi’s sex talk, sex toys and now her interest in exploring a woman sexually. Did I really hear her say that? Does she realize cameras are rolling and her daughter has to go to school after these shows air? To each his own its not my place to judge her but Kandi was more appealing in the studio as a song writer/producer. I’m not feeling Kooky Kinky Kandi. I wonder why Lawrence was in the studio recording with another producer? His voice and that song were awful!
Kandi is trying to keep her job by using shock value. Only thing is she talks about sex so much, she’s even made that boring. I wish she would leave the show!
I know I read it somewhere before but just read it again in Essence… NeNe Leakes and her “I’m Very Rich B*tch” t-shirt. “But to add an extra dose of fabulousity, the words are adorned in Swarovski Crystals, and are selling for $150 a pop.”
I don’t what to say about NeNe anymore…
Nene looks like donkey kong
She IS donkey kong
Who is Nene to talk about Kandi’s thighs being big? Does she not realize that her own thigh looks like an on ramp for spagetti junction down 85?