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John Salley’s teeth may be a tad whiter, his smile a bit wider and his demeanor even more subdued than normal, but there’s no mistaking his presence means that there is a Basketball Wives reunion in the works, this time L.A. style. He introduces the ladies, and apparently Gloria Govan and Jackie Christie missed the hair memo. Why Maylaysia, why? Your hair looks so good straight! I also have to give credit to a reader that commented in an earlier thread that Laura Govan looks like a long-lost member of the Jackson family. Spot on, Super Reality Junkie!

The first issue at hand is the season opening fight when Laura and Malaysia come to blows after repeated belittling and “hood-rat calling” on the part of Ms. Govan. I still love that Malaysia took off her shoes for the brawl. John recaps the fight, saying that Malaysia “pushed Jackie over like she only weighed a hundred pounds.” Oh no he didn’t! He questions Gloria who says she got her information regarding the tiff from none other than Jackie.

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Malaysia says she’s proud of her first name (LaQuisha) and she took offense to being called a hood rat, as she’s been with her husband for nearly a decade. Laura responds that her name-calling was in jest… up until she started throwing punches. Is anyone else noticing how giant the rock is on her left ring finger? Laura admits she was at a place where she was taking out her anger on any and all that got in her way. The pair quickly made up and remain friends.

Round two is Imani versus Laura. The ladies’ back and forth gossip is rehashed. Laura laughingly admits she asked Imani to house “a few boxes” and then showed up in a U-Haul to fill Imani’s garage. Imani starts in on what Jackie told her Laura said about her. Jackie interrupts to say she’ll wait her turn. John is floored, and Imani continues, saying her calm demeanor in the face of drama is only because she doesn’t like to let it affect her negatively.

Jackie gets her turn and after acknowledging that husband Doug is close enough to smell (T.M.I.), she does admit to being the go-between and telling each other’s gossip. She’s learned her lesson. Jackie regrets stirring the pot, and she even states that she maybe a little knew she was doing it in an effort to retaliate against Laura’s mean-spirited fat jokes and hair-hat references which were targeted at her. She still loves Laura, but she’s heated. Um, John needs to interrupt… he doesn’t care about all that, he just wants to get to the bottom about what Laura said about Imani and vice versa.

Apparently the fight started because both Jackie and Imani were giving Laura different advice regarding then ex (current fiance) Gilbert Arenas. Jackie believes that all three of them were in a group discussion, not a tit-for-tat gossip session. There is some extensive discussion about late night conversations involving Jackie, that both Imani and Laura don’t remember quite as clearly as Jackie. However, it’s okay because Jackie is ready to call up Verizon to get her phone bill (while whipping out-of-line co-star a$$, no less), while Laura muses that if it looks like she has to “fart” it’s merely because she’s so “confused” with Jackie’s ramblings. John then bestows on Laura the honor of the woman with whom he’d most like to rob a bank. Seriously? Part two of this reunion had better make up for the last nineteen minutes of my life.

To lighten the mood, John focuses on Imani’s dating situation which was highlighted on the show. Imani’s awkward meet-and-greet and even more awkward date are revisited. Imani seems to take minor offense to Laura’s multiple assertions that she just needs to get some nookie. Imani wants a relationship. If she just wanted someone for sex, she could have it, as men love to give “d” away. John looks equal parts amused, shocked… and guilty for giving it away himself. John mediates a hyper-sexual conversation with Laura before hitting Imani with a viewer question about being a gold-digger.

John makes a shaky transition from Imani’s single life to Gloria’s newly single life, thanks to her recent break-up with fiance Matt Barnes. Gloria looks very defensive at this line of questioning. She gives her speech about needing to take time for herself. John asks if she thinks it’s just a break, and he seems to ask it less as a moderator and more as a hopeful potential suitor. Where is Wendy Williams when you need her? Much to John’s dismay, Gloria admits that when she needs satisfaction of the bedroom variety, she still calls up Matt so as not to become a whore. John finds it “sexy” that Gloria has been with Matt for so long. Um, I have thought many things about John Salley, but this is the first time “creepy” ever came to mind. Laura is hopeful the pair will work it out… and I think a lone tear rolls down our host’s cheek. Perhaps it was the lighting. :)

The conversation turns to a mainly mute (until now), Draya Michele. The clips recount Draya’s inclusion into the group, as well as her hilarious improv class. John wants to know more about Draya’s acting before ever so smoothly turning to Gloria to see if her acting career is going well. Surprise, surprise, Gloria has landed a role on a “feature film” directed by Eric Williams. Draya has some hosting gigs on the horizon, jokingly telling John she’s after his job.

The child endangerment scandal is revisited and Draya wants to keep the past in the past. While, for once, she doesn’t deny the allegations, she defends her decision to move to L.A. while her mother keeps her son in Pennsylvania. Oh, nevermind. John point blank asks if all the Internet rumors, police reports, etc. are false, and Draya adamantly says they are… that’s her story and she’s sticking to it. Literally. It’s what she said. I am a bit disappointed in her. I’m not judging what she did, but I am a tad sad to see she isn’t owning up to any wrongdoing. Where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire and I’d be much more sympathetic to her if she wasn’t issuing a blanket denial. But, on the flip side, she doesn’t owe me, or anyone, an explanation.

Jackie says she both feels badly for, yet doesn’t regret, Googling Draya’s parenting issues. Draya goes off on her once friend saying she certainly doesn’t have an obligation to tell Jackie anything about her past. Jackie tries to assume a motherly role, and she reminds Draya of how tight the pair got after everything came out at Beso. Draya won’t listen to any of Jackie’s chatter. Draya reminds the audience that she didn’t know until watching the show that Jackie had been the instigator in Googling her.

Jackie must address the crowd, telling them to stand down while slapping her behind. She claims all of the other women feel the same way towards Draya. Jackie repeatedly tells a silent Draya to “stand down.” Stand down from what? John has totally lost control of this clown car. He gets tickled while remembering Laura and Draya’s mixed martial arts smackdown. Laura denies that she was bullying, she’s simply competitive. Mmmhmm. John tries to get Laura to discuss her motivations for her MMA actions. When she says she had none, the crowd starts calling her a liar. Finally, it’s getting good! Imani and Malaysia both chime in that there are some pretty serious underlying issues between Laura and Draya which is probably why Laura couldn’t separate a training exercise from a full-on, emotions-flowing fight.

Jackie interrupts to remind Gloria that they were once like sisters. Jackie isn’t at the reunion to rehash the rumors behind the Laura/Draya confrontation, and when Gloria gets heated, Jackie angrily assures her, in a very cryptic manner, that she’ll remain mum on any of the nasty gossip about Gloria that may come to a head. Don’t speak so soon, Jackie! That is what makes a reunion A REUNION. Laura is surprisingly quiet. Jackie suddenly loses it in a massive way. She and Gloria are going at it like lunatics, but with all the bleeping it’s hard for me to totally follow their haterade. Seems like the perfect time for John to call it quits on part one of the reunion, don’t you think?

Next week, on the reunion conclusion, the women discuss Jackie’s mental health, and Draya and Jackie have another verbal altercation.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE FIRST HALF OF THE REUNION? DO YOU THINK DRAYA AND LAURA’S DIRTY LAUNDRY WITH EACH OTHER WILL BE AIRED? WILL JACKIE STAY SILENT ON WHAT SHE KNOWS ABOUT LAURA? WHY IS JOHN SALLEY EVEN PRESENT? :)

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