On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills I came to the conclusion that I am just so burned out on the Taylor, Taylor, Taylor show. And this show in general. Perhaps it’s a symptom of my profession that I watch too much Housewives!
Things pick up where they left off with Tea Party Part Deux and Camille confronting Taylor about her allegations of abuse. Camille is confused about how Taylor expects her friends to be all ecstatic about her husband when she is telling them he abuses her, yet no one sees any signs of said abuse – physical or otherwise.
Taylor calls Camille “uncool” for outing her marital issues, but Camille seems nonplussed and continues asking Taylor about the inconsistencies going on. Then, Camille pulls a total Dynasty diva moment and storms out! I wish there would be an exciting and frivolous Dynasty-style catfight on this show already. Full-scale hair pulling, sequined gown ripping, destroying of manicured lawns, all out bitch-queen catfight. Can we get on scripting this, Bravo? kthx!
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Taylor is shocked and upset that Camille called her out and tries to prevent Lisa from going after Camille. Lisa admits she is confused as well and doesn’t know what to believe, prompting a full-on Taylor manipulation meltdown; accusing Lisa of making her feel like she is in junior high cause none of the popular girls like her. Oh, please! Dear Bravo – make this storyline stop. Thank you.
Finally, Taylor tearfully admits she “forgives” Lisa for shunning her crazy weird desperate antics and they are besties! Lisa claims she is humbled and honestly saw a different side to Taylor after Camille confronted her. Really? …And then like flipping a switch, Taylor is suddenly happy cause Lisa likes her! She is just so relieved, “my hand to god” that they have resolved things. RUN LISA RUN! See Taylor just never felt confident enough to speak her mind before. Oh, is that what Tea Party-pocolypse was?
Even Kyle is like B to the S, questioning: “That’s resolved?” Weird, indeed. Perhaps Kyle is starting to see the truth about ol’ Loony Lips. After a season and a half of resenting Lisa, now she and Taylor are BFF… whip out the broken heart friendship necklaces! Lisa is a sweet woman to wipe the slate clean and support Cedric 2.0. And cue the can I borrow $$ pleas?
Meanwhile, Kim has finally moved in with Ken. What will be her excuse for not attending parties now? Kim admits it has been challenging, but she is happy and wants Kyle to recognize this. BTW did you know Kim was an Arabian Horse? “Grrrrooowl!” Regardless she seems to have a mature approach about her relationship, admitting it may not last but who knows! Good for Kim, I hope she is happy and he is good to her and they get that ship/bridge wire contraption thrown into the garbage can.
At Kyle’s house she is fixing Portia a snack and here comes Fake Resnick carrying a scary vase. Apparently, Taylor has even told Faye about the alleged abuse. Kyle believes Taylor is worried Russell will find out she is telling
everyone with a pulse her friends. Now Taylor is blaming Camille because she is afraid to address the situation. Faye breaks down the cycle of abuse for all of us viewers so Bravo can get in some PSA. Kyle is still confused about how Taylor can stay in the marriage and it makes her question the situation, but Faye wisely advises that even if it does not seem apparent that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Who really knows what to believe…
Pandora is excited to show Lisa the Barbie Princess bridesmaids dresses she has picked out. Juvenile, much? Pandora describes her bachelorette party in Vegas. The party is being hosted by the creator of Planet Hollywood, that happens to be an old family friend. Pandora is begging her mummy to come to see the Chippendales men in action! Lisa is like um… no thank you, gyrating men don’t interest me.
Camille, Kyle and Adrienne get together for lunch. And was Kyle the only person drinking wine? The ladies start out talking mommy things – such as children can do no wrong, but a husband can! Which is a little tome from the indomitable Richards matriarch, Big Kathy. And speaking of husbands who do wrong, Camille brings up the Taylor situation. Camille has attempted to apologize several times via text and received no response. Camille feels horrible about revealing Taylor’s confidences, but she reacted out of concern and was trying to be a friend.
Camille feels Taylor goaded her into revealing her marital secrets and now is angry with her for doing so. Camille is very sweet and sympathetic, but Adrienne is quick to point out Camille is not responsible and Taylor shouldn’t be telling everyone if she doesn’t want her friends to be involved or have an opinion. Hello, that’s what therapy is for! Amen, sister.
It’s Kennedy’s $400,000 fifth birthday party! I wonder if Taylor got this party completely for free also, like last time? #eyeroll. Why is there a mechanical bull for 5-year-olds? Nothing is done two hours before the party, including not having childrens tables for a child’s party. Where is the Dana the party planner? Oh here she is, waltzing in at the start time and according to her, because Taylor wanted to be in charge this year so she is only coordinating entertainment!
Kennedy-palooza or Taylor‘s Cray-Craypalooza will be a party for 250 of Kennedy’s closet friends and will feature a zillion games, a magician and a taco stand, has-been celebrities and lord knows what else. After discovering that the childrens tables are here but someone named Jaime has them, Taylor goes on a mad search rushing around screeching “Jaime!” When she succeeds in finding Jaime she immediately starts jumping on him and hugging him in her short-shorts.
Taylor changes into her Pocahontas Barbie party outfit – and seriously whom does she think she is wearing that – Kate Moss? Kyle arrives first with her whole family, completely ensconced in a ridiculous blanket and expresses that it will be awkward seeing Russell after the revelations at the tea party.
Taylor immediately starts telling everyone that some has-been from American Idol named Ace Young will be performing and everyone is like who? The song was written for Kennedy by Ace and Dana’s step-son Conner. Taylor is flirting like crazy with Ace, I noticed.
Lisa does not attend Kennedy’s party as she has the convenient excuse of needing to plan Pandora’s wedding. Good thing or Taylor might think Lisa just doesn’t want to be her friend! Lisa is capping Pandora’s wedding guest list at about 180 – which is less people than are present at Kennedy’s fifth birthday party! Cue Kevin Lee – wedding planner extraordinaire! Kevin’s motto” More is More is More” and Lisa’s motto: “More is too much.” Needless to say some butting head occurred over some ridiculous hot pink, silk flower encrusted wrapped gift boxes masquerading as invitations which Pandora loved and Lisa wisely did not. But Pandora wants a Pandora’s Box – which cost $150 bucks for pop! I hope she did not choose those horrifying invites!
At Kennedy-palooza Kim makes an appearance and immediately hops on the mechanical bull like an old pro! She’s done this before apparently. Kim and Kyle haven’t seen each other since Kyle’s totally insane crying fit over meeting Ken. Kyle admits she shouldn’t be trying to control what Kim is doing in her life.
Taylor fills Kyle in on how she is doing post Tea Party and she is totes icing Camille out. Wasn’t she just complaining about not wanting to feel like a junior high student? Taylor states that if Camille dare show up at this party, she’ll be shoveling sh*t and Taylor isn’t interested in Camille’s groveling for forgiveness, which is giving Kyle the giggles. Taylor has decided to misplace anger on Camille, apparently. Friendship Terminated!
Adrienne arrives with her family and explains although she is confused about Taylor’s marriage, she is trying to be a good friend. And then – Adrienne talks shit! Seriously! I was shocked. Adrienne is very hurt that Lisa is having Pandora’s bachelorette party at a competing casino instead of asking her to host it at the Palms. She is confused about why Lisa wouldn’t want to promote her business after she promotes Lisa’s restaurants. Kyle looks flabbergasted and lamely suggests that maybe Lisa was afraid to ask. Kyle muses that there are lots of cracks in their little group. True that. I hope Adrienne and Lisa can resolve things as it seems an unintentional slight.
Brandi elects to try and break the ice with Kim and say hello. Kim responds by completely ignoring her. Brandi is not surprised. Kim can’t speak for herself, so clearly she didn’t say anything! Buurn. Brandi fills Kyle in on what happened and she genuinely seems upset at the slight. I sorta felt a little bad for her. Kim informs Pam that she is not interested in anything Brandi has to say, “no thank you.”
Taylor and Pam are trying to work out the entertainment and the reveal of Kennedy’s very expensive gift. Russell gets into an argument with Taylor and Pam about what needs to happen first and everyone involved is pretty testy, they go back and forth about when is a good time for the gift. Finally, Pam is like “fine!” and skulks off. Pam thinks Russell is more concerned about looking like “Father of the year” than Kennedy’s party.
Meanwhile, Mauricio and Paul hop on the mechanical bull. While Mauricio manages a brief but exciting ride, Paul can even get on the bull. Seriously he was like belly flopping on top of that thing and then is immediately thrown off. Poor, sweet Paul.
Finally it’s the entertainment portion of Kennedy-palooza! Taylor makes a speech about being a simple girl from Oklahoma who now has such a beautiful life even though she’s having like 19 nervous breakdowns a week. How on earth did the convince Ace Young to perform? I like that Brandi noticed Ace getting drunky-drunkifers on stage at a child’s party. Very sweet song, btw.
And again with Russell and the animal gifts – this year Kennedy gets a horse (but what of her allergies?!). Pam is right to mention they couldn’t handle a dog last year, but something tells me the appeal of a horse is that it remains at the stable and someone else does all the work. Taylor makes a funny, as she makes out with the horse, mentioning it’s the only person with bigger lips than her. Adrienne surmises that Taylor is afraid to be alone and being with Russell is better than being by herself, but Kyle just doesn’t understand any of it.
Next Week: Adrienne confronts Lisa about the bachelorette. Brandi hosts a porn party. And Taylor continues to avoid Camille.
Watch What Happens Live: The guests are Ellen Barkin and Book of Mormon star, Andrew Rannells. Ellen plays Housewife super psychologist and analyzing Kyle, she calls her out on her drama instigating! Ellen also reveals she would throw out Pandora’s super-ugly D’wrong invites (Me too, mama!)
The game is Word Association Rotation with Snoopy! Ellen equates Cameltoe with Kim! And says Jerry Hall has Cankles!
Ellen believes Kim should not only accept Brandi’s apology, but apologize to Brandi for starting the fight after the comments about not wanting Brandi on her team. Andrew reveals Oprah topped every other celebrity who saw Book of Mormon.
Ellen talks plastic surgery of BH Housewives and she can’t tell whose whom because of all the work. And she wouldn’t let Dr. Paul come near her face with a needle! Ellen does not hold back!
Andy is thankful that Bravo has announced that stating in January WWHL will be on 5 nights a week! Can Ellen be on five nights a week, too?
Poll Question: Who would you want as your mom? Lisa and Adrienne are pretty much tied, but Lisa takes it by one point.
THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? SHOULD TAYLOR BE ANGRY AT CAMILLE? DO YOU BELIEVE TAYLOR’S ALLEGATIONS THAT RUSSELL WAS ABUSIVE? WHICH KENNEDY-PALOOZA WAS A BETTER PARTY: THIS YEAR OR LAST YEAR?