Last night, Millionaire Matchmaker went out with a bang. Dare I say, the first ever Millionaire Matchmaker reunion was actually entertaining especially compared to the lackluster season that many of you readers have agreed is not worth tuning into. But hey, last night’s second part of the reunion was definitely worth a watch especially when we got to see past clients let it rip on the beloved Patti Stanger.
Andy Cohen began asking Patti some
boring viewer-submitted questions. The most interesting question was if Patti would date a redhead. With all the gay and Jewish bashing, I totally forgot about Patti’s distaste for the redhead community. Then, Andy reminds me that she also does not like curly hair either. What the heck, Patti! I take the curly hair one very personally. But Patti does what she does best explaining she did not mean it like that — yea, right. She says the millionaires do not like red, curly hair people. I think Bravo needs to set up an Equal Opportunity program for the crew at Millionaire Matchmaker.
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Bravo brought on many flashbacks last night. The first montage was of Patti giving her sound advice to millionaire clients who actually want to listen to it. If I had just seen this reel, I would think Patti is a really good matchmaker. Patti gets a little emotional or pretends to be while watching the flashback. Then, she breaks the sweet moment exclaiming just how amazing she is at her job. Oh well, moment ruined.
Patti tells Andy that women are crockpots who need to be heated slowly, while men are microwaves that just heat up automatically. I love Patti’s analogies, but when she brought in cooking, she lost me. I knew I should have paid attention in my home ec class.
The next ode is to Patti’s famous vocabulary. Her acronyms sounded like she was talking in texts like my ten year old cousin does to all her friends. But unlike my ten year old cousin, Patti’s language gets a little R-rated with all her cursing. Andy also presents some flashbacks of Patti’s makeover sessions. Patti explains gay men should be plastic surgeons — Andy is quick to tell her this is another generalization. Why can’t Andy just call it what it is — a stereotype!
The best and last montage was Patti’s rules and of those who break them. We get to see the Patti we know and love as she explains her brilliant rules and reprimands those who break them. This is my favorite part of Patti. She sticks to her rules and is not scarred to punish those who don’t. Good for you, Patti!
Three of Patti’s rule-breaking clients join the couch to dish on what happened and what their status is now. Two of the three are single, while Zargos is currently seeing someone he has been dating for six weeks. So I think it is safe to say, most these clients have not benefited from their rule-breaking.
Lawrence, best known for breaking the cardinal rule of not drinking too much on a date is first in the hot seat. He looks like he has been baking his body in the Caribbean sun for the past year, well at least his face and hands. Andy points out and clearly cues the camera to show the spot of Lawrence’s leg seen in a hole of his jeans. This spot is as pale as Santa Clause’s beard (sorry I had to include something about the holidays in my blog.) He also got a hair plug surgery to make his hair stop falling out. In between telling the viewers about his new appearance, he starts a fight with Patti over the intimacy of kissing. Andy seems to side with Lawrence on this one, and I tend to just always side with Andy. I do see Patti’s point — couples don’t have to run into a bedroom to develop a good relationship. Lawrence breaks out calling Patti wounded, and Patti snaps back that he is a narcissist and has feminine energy. So much for me agreeing with Patti!
Moving on to a more peaceful exchange Zagros is making his third appearance on the Millionaire Matchmaker. He broke the rule of no sex before monogamy and has already redeemed himself with Susan. The two are still friends and actually dated for a year, but broke up due to long distance. Patti states the obvious saying hey you are a millionaire. She can move to you, duh! Zagros claims she did not want to stop working and could not relocate. Ok, as a viewer, I came up with two explanations: 1) Zagros is not rich. Shocker! Or 2) They were not really in a happy relationship. Guess we will never know.
Certainly, Bravo saved the best for last with an all-out cat fight between Patti and Stacy Kessler. They two play ping pong with their insults as both put each other down on their dating. They even bring the insults to include who most likely does online dating. Meow! The ever-perfect timing Andy dissolves the fight and offers the idea of setting up Stacy with Lawrence. No word on that!
Andy and Patti sit down with Millionaire Club managers Destin and Rachel. The newlyweds share a beautiful baby boy. If you were like me and figured Patti set them up, I will set the record straight — the happy couple met on MySpace! So screw you Stacy, people can find love online!
Andy Cohen keeps on giving by bringing out Patti’s date from this season John Matthews. He awkwardly tells Andy the two are just friends, while Patti constantly interjects saying they had a really great date though. Awkwardness continues as Andy asks if Patti is a good kisser, and John cannot stop chuckling. Patti saves it saying they shared a great kiss and John agrees. I am left a little confused here, but I do agree that John is a DILF.
And to remind us that this show is supposed to be about love, one of Patti’s success stories join the reunion. David Cruz and his girlfriend Ayla are giddy in telling us how much they love each other and are grateful to Patti. Then, in true reality television fashion, David gets down on one knee to pop the question with a huge Jacob&Co diamond by the way. Ayla says yes, and the reunion ends with happy tears and a new engagement.
So long for now, Millionaire Matchmaker!
TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE REUNION? DID YOU LIKE CATCHING UP WITH THE PAST CLIENTS? DO YOU WANT TO SEE ANOTHER SEASON OF PATTI AND HER CREW?