On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Bob took Sheree to court, Phaedra got played by Bob, Kandi talked her new self-pleasure line and Kim struggled for her daughter to accept KJ.
Things begin with Phaedra and Sheree meeting to discuss Bob’s modification of child support. Phaedra explains it will be a very engrossing process with a lot of sorting through everyone’s business. Sheree is emotional because it is dealing with something very dear to her heart: her money, according to Phaedra. Sheree is still unwilling to put Dead Beat Head Butt Bob in jail for back child support, but Phaedra promises to be the diligent legal eagle and get her the justice she deserves!
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Sheree is very emotional about returning to the courts after her traumatic divorce. Sheree still believes she was not awarded what she deserved. Sheree believes the Atlanta courts are corrupt and automatically took Bob’s side in the divorce proceedings because of his football career. She also claims Bob retired to avoid paying a fair settlement amount! D-to-the-rama! Is anyone else very surprised Bob is willing to let this be filmed and featured on a TV show?
Kandi is recording Kandi Koated Nights with Marlo and Charles as the guests. Kandi’s show has gone big time and now has a fancy professional set and looks swank. Sadly neither the guests, nor the topic is as classy. Charles and Marlo are here to discuss “How To Hook A Baller.” Charles has much advice for hopeful gold diggers. He feels women in Atlanta, the pretend city, don’t “preserve” themselves long enough. No, no – they get plenty of Botox. He means they put out too soon.
Charles opines that if you carry yourself like a lady, you get treated like a lady and if you carry yourself like a hooker, you get treated like a hooker. What if you carry yourself like a criminal? When asked about NeNe, Charles claims they never had a relationship – apparently NeNe agrees.
Kandi questions Marlo about how she affords her lavish lifestyle? Marlo believes it is through God’s blessings that she is well provided for. Kandi reveals there are rumors that Marlo had a rich old white sugar daddy. Is it Big Poppa? Marlo wants to know if Kandi thanks God for her own blessings, which confuses Kandi who believes she was blessed not with material possessions but actual talent. The question still remains: What does Marlo Hampton do for a living?
NeNe and Cynthia go shopping for vintage clothes. NeNe doesn’t wear used clothes anymore than Kim lives in used houses. Cynthia and NeNe talk Charles, and NeNe also denies a relationship or a hook-up. Apparently her Hello Kitty never slept with Charles. Cynthia suggests Marlo and NeNe may actually like each other – NeNe doesn’t look convinced.
Kim, Kroy and KJ are on their way home from the hospital. Kim is nagging Kroy about everything and he is patient. Chanel isn’t so into being displaced by the new baby, so while KJ takes the baby of all poops – which the girls refuse to help change – Chanel pees on the rug. I guess she’s pissed off about something. Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week!
Prepping for court, Phaedra wants a pre-trial fashion show from Sheree. Sheree shows up with a huge garment bag full of designer duds, some of which she has just purchased. She also shows up with a brand new Porshe. Phaedra stops her right there and instructs her to look both poor and like she is taking this seriously, which means NO DONKEY BOOTY. Sheree puts out a suit, which practically has sign that reads: “Donkey Booty.” Phaedra reminds her that they want the judge to pay attention to her case – not her monster butt. Also not allowed in court the Hermes Bag that costs as much as a Toyota Corolla.
Kandi is meeting with a self-pleasure company to discuss producing her music activated vibrator. Is there a market for such thing? They have decided to have this meeting, which includes whipping out cartoon colored cactus shaped vibrators, at a restaurant. Kandi’s next idea is a tube of lipstick for a different pair of lips. Down there lips. Oh happiness and joy! In addition to her sex toy line, Kandi is embarking on a weight loss and fitness challenge along with her daughter, Riley. They goof off playing outside, hopscotching, running races, and hoola-hooping. It was sweet.
Kim is testy after being stuck at home with a new baby and a petulant teenaged daughter who is self-absorbed (wonder where she inherited that trait?). Sweetie is like totally incapable of bathing a wig. GAWWWD – does Kim have to do everything people?! Kim is worried about her babies – all her wigs have names – and Debbie isn’t doing so hot with the Pantene and the olive oil. Sweetie threatens Brielle that if she doesn’t shape up and stop stabbing her little sis with sporks she’s going to be doing wig washing as a part-time job. Kim whines that she is desperate for Kroy to return home because she is tired of doing everything herself. HA! After their stressful washing the wigs relax by drying in front of the fire. Oh my…
The day before Sheree’s case, Phaedra learns Sheree has been giving her assistant the runaround about the $5000 retainer fee. Apparently Sheree asked Phaedra’s assistant to meet her at the salon to pick up the check and a funny thing happened: No check! Phaedra warns this is not how her firm does business and she is about to check Sheree. Phaedra Parks, Attorney-At-Law doesn’t work for free. Phaedra’s radar is instantly up and she is leery of her decision to accept Sheree as a client given her past issues with lawyers. Finally one of Phaedra’s employees shows up gasping for air and brandishing the check. He had to chase Sheree down all over town to get it. Was he really running?
On court day Sheree is really nervous. Or her acting has really improved. Phaedra gives her a pep talk and Sheree calls her mom for some additional encouragement. Thelma does her one better and shows up at court. Did anyone else find it odd that Sheree’s rented penthouse apartment apparently had no furniture?
Bob has decided to represent himself, claiming he doesn’t have money for an attorney. He is also looking a “hot mess” to further substantiate these claims. Immediately Bob gives the judge his petition for contempt claiming Sheree stole furniture that was supposed to be his in their divorce. Well one quick look around her apartment will verify that couldn’t possibly be the case. Although word around the blosphere is that Sheree stole light fixtures, etc from the home Bob allowed to fall into foreclosure after their divorce was finalized.
Phaedra is blindsided, but not exactly concerned. Sheree is furious. And Bob is smug. Leaving the courtroom he greets Thelma warmly and then struts off down the hall, sticking out his tongue before running away. Is Bob perhaps some sort of idiot savant?
Kim’s parents come over to visit KJ and are totally in love with their new grandson. Kim’s dad engaged in some inappropriate boob banter. The way Kim talks in front of her daughters is deplorable, but it’s clear she inherited the lack of boundaries from her father. Kim’s dad has a talk with Brielle about not helping out around the house and the important role she plays a big sister. Kroy echos these sentiments, but Brielle is in full teenager mode and tuning them out.
In the middle of it all Chanel, who is apparently NOT housebroken, poops on the carpet. Sanitary, much? Kroy calmly dispatches Ariana to clean it up, which I thought was great. Chanel and Brielle are apparently having difficulty adapting to the new baby. Kim admits part of the problem has been her spoiling of Brielle. The other part of the problem is that Brielle is a teenager! Kim suggests Brielle help her pump – I hope she was joking. Ew.
After the stressful and surprising court case which lawyer extraordinaire Phaedra thought would be cut and dry, Sheree, Kandi, and Phaedra are meeting for lunch. Phaedra compliments Kandi on her weight loss by noting that even her hair is shrinking, which is the first sign. I’m pretty sure that’s called lack of volumizer, but whatevs!
Over lunch Kandi asks how court went, Phaedra is nonplussed while Sheree is very upset confused about her lawyer being outsmarted by an ex-football player representing himself, who like, knows how to read and looks at the interwebamathingie. Phaedra is very annoyed by Sheree’s complaints and responds that it is a process. She also calls Sheree out for not heeding her advice about calling the sheriff on Bob for deadbeat behavior.
Kandi is sympathetic to Sheree given her own past experience with the courts while trying to get child support from Riley’s father. Kandi starts to cry over the corrupt Atlanta court system that she feels is rigged against women. Everyone is supportive of Sheree’s plight and Phaedra encourages her that they will be victorious in the end. Let’s hope!
Next week: Kim moving. Sheree and Phaedra continue disagreeing about her legal issues. The Bailey Agency is opening with little support from Peter and to make matters worse the opening will feature ALL the Atlanta Housewives in one room, plus Marlo! And it looks like Kim and Kandi get into a dispute over Big Poppa.
DO YOU BELIEVE CHARLES AND NENE WERE NEVER AN ITEM? ARE YOU SURPRISED BOB IS ALLWOING HIS DIRTY LAUNDRY TO BE AIRED ON TELEVISION OR IS THIS A SET UP BY BRAVO?