Last night was the last straw of the latest season of Jersey Shore, culminating in a snooze fest reunion. The season’s highlights are recapped, and everyone laughs at light-hearted jokes about GTL and Deena’s tornado. Mike and Snooki are the first two in the hot seat to discuss the did-they-or-didn’t-they hook up. This reunion was clearly filmed pre-Situation rehab.
The gang watches clips showing how Mike plotted his diabolical plan which was often thwarted in Seaside Heights. Mike claims he didn’t want to be painted as a liar. After the footage, Snooki and Mike are screaming at each other on the reunion sofa. Again, does she protest too much? Rawn is thrilled that they are the new Ronnie and Sam. JWoww stands up for Snooki from the rafters. Rawn reveals that the angrier Nicole appears, the guiltier she looks.
Rawn goes on a roid rage begging them to drop it. Snooki claims that if she was going to hook up with a roommate, it wouldn’t be Mike, it would be Vin, and she’s been there, done that. Literally. Vinny looks uncomfortable. Pauly chimes in, saying that if he had been Jionni, Mike would still be swallowing his teeth. He believes Jionni was too passive. Basically nothing is resolved…no love lost between Snookster and the Sitch.
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Mike really doesn’t want to be perceived as the bad guy of the house. Ronnie states that Mike clearly has a heart…it’s just surrounded by ice. Cue the highlights of Mike’s sadness and passive aggressiveness in the shore house. Vinny sums it up in the footage: You can’t expect to be a douchebag for three summers and then have everyone like you. Back on the reunion sofa, Mike says his feelings were hurt due to some of the things that happened this past summer. Snooki thinks Mike felt like he needed to be either the villain or the good guy. Jenni wants him to admit that he tried to screw over each of them at some point. Vinny finds Mike hard to live with, but admits that he thinks, for a bad guy, Mike has a good heart. There’s a Situation going on, and he’s on the defensive.
Feeling like he’s being ganged up on, Mike walks off stage. Jenni follows him into the parking lot hoping to get through to him. Rawn thinks that he’s just crying out for attention. Jenni tries to appeal to Mike, saying that they want to care about him…they just want to know that he cares about them in return. JWoww vows to stand with him on the reunion stage if he’s willing to start with a clean slate. Mike returns to the sofa, and Vinny, always the jokester, storms off stage. Mike apologizes in his fast-talking way, and it seems that everyone accepts his mea culpa.
Deena joins Snooki in the hot seat, and viewers are treated to ridiculous meatball footage galore. The meatballs and Mike discuss who catches crabs the best. Trick question – everyone! They discuss the camping trip, and Rawn jokes that the only tent Snooki has ever pitched is in a guy’s pants. Who brought the guy with the jokes? Is he vying for his own spin-off? I am LOVING Reunion Rawn.
Vinny’s anxiety is revisited, and it’s sad (yes, go ahead and judge me, I deserve it) to watch the scenes of Vinny leaving again. At least he finished off the summer with a bang…and that bang involved two lesbians. Pauly remembers that he felt like he needed to let his biffle have his space before charging Vin’s home and bringing him back to the Shore. Vinny jokes that it took several bad friend dates to remind him of how Pauly was his one and only. I love that they are BFFs, and I would like to tag along with them just once. Fabulousness. VP’s pranks are highlighted…they are just always on the same page. Pauly discusses his boardwalk stalker, saying she didn’t talk, she just stalked. The host pranks Pauly by calling out stalker Vanessa. I think I saw Pauly’s hair shaking, but luckily it was just a joke.
JWoww is on the sofa to dish about her relationship with Roger. Their ups and downs are revisited – I had forgotten about the couple’s mini-drama. Rawn’s one-liners during the footage cause some laughs, and he is hysterical remembering his jokes. JWoww and Rawn think that maybe Ronnie has a side relationship with Roger. Sammi and Ronnie are on the sofa, and the new Sammi is revealed in the clips. She can cook and she’s no longer a jealous shrew…who knew? I have watched since the first episode, and Sammi has always been in the background for me, even when she was in the midst of drama. However, I really enjoyed her this season.
Rawn and Sam reveal that they are no longer together, and MVP is oohing and ahhing over the potential for drama. Rawn says that he called it off to benefit Sammi, and she seems to think that their break-up was mutual. Regardless, they both consider each other to be good friends, and the pair is surprisingly civil.
The reunion concludes with a montage of the girls peeing anywhere but the toilets…but to be fair to the “girls” it’s mainly Snooki. Also unnecessarily highlighted, is Rawn’s bowels. Lola the Bunny is revisited and I have to look away. That costume scared the poo out of me all season. I am happy to see the group end on a high note, although it wasn’t a drama filled reunion…it was just the gang, taking places on the sofa, and a bunch of footage. Ehhh….
WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE REUNION? WAS ANYTHING RESOLVED? DID ANYTHING NEED TO BE RESOLVED? DO YOU BELIEVE MIKE OR SNOOKI? WERE YOU AS BORED AS I WAS EXCEPT FOR RON’S JOKES? AND WHO THOUGH RON HAD JOKES?