Shahs Of Sunset Recap – Champagne Wars

 

Last week on Shahs of Sunset, there was drinking and drama. Poor Reza Farahan did not have a good birthday weekend.  Hayvoon Bazi did not happen.  Well, some things did go animal style, but not in a fun way.  (I’m looking at you, Snooki MJ)

This week opens up with the gang still in Vegas, after a weekend of celebrating Reza’s birthday in that insane suite at the Aria hotel. Reza blows in and finds that MJ (Mercedes Javid) and her fifty pairs of heels are still spread out all over the room and nowhere near ready to catch their flight. MJ enlightens the group that GG packed up her toys and went home in a huff.  My question is..how did she slip out without being noticed when there are that many people in the suite? She clearly isn’t a packing-light kind of girl, nor one who would carry her own luggage.  Reza is angry at GG and plans to confront her when he gets home.

MJ tries to play herself off as a “mere observer” in the mean girl antics toward Reza’s friend Anita.  Thank goodness Reza calls out MJ for her part in the Anita dress drama from last week.  MJ was sloppy, wasted and absolutely started the nastiness with her “where is her tired ass dress from?” comments during dinner with Anita sitting two feet away.

Asa Rahmati explains how abrasive and negative GG is and shares: “if you keep barking, eventually somebody will step on your face”.  Asa is wise.

Back in Beverly Hills, an impatient GG waits for MJ to meet her for lunch. MJ feels like it’s her duty as a good friend to let GG know how bad her behavior was in Vegas and wants to help her be a better person. MJ clearly was too busy throwing up on club couches and attempting to peel off her dress one sleeve at a time to remember that she started this whole thing. GG says that Anita got her riled up and “brought the ghetto out” of her.  Well, how much is Anita supposed to put up with? They picked on her dress and then started in again with her bathing suit.  (Her $800 bathing suit!)

Sammy tries to get some work done.  He meets with Mohammed, the biggest real estate developer in all the land.  Mohammed lets Sammy know that he better do a good job or he’ll be part of the concrete.  The Mob Wives would be so proud.

Asa is inspired to be artsy after her weekend in Vegas. Did anyone understand her bottling these Diamond Water “feelings”? And it’s connecting of her inner Aries fire dragon intergalactic Persian priestess? I didn’t quite get it, but that’s okay, as I don’t have any loose diamonds hanging about anyway.

We get to see MJ and Reza’s shared office. MJ explains that most of the Persian stereotypes are true: they’re loud, they’re gaudy, they drive expensive cars, wear a lot of gold, and they are “all” in real estate. She also wants us to know that she thinks her approach to selling is more laid back and completely different from Reza’s.  She describes Reza’s style as “if you don’t take my advice and adopt my opinion like it’s your new Bible, then you’re an idiot, a moron, a loser, you have missed the bus of life.”  Tell us how you really feel, MJ. She continues on with the revelation that Reza works harder than she does, but makes less.

GG heads over to MJ’s apartment to sit down with Reza to try to smooth things over before the champagne tasting goes down. GG reveals that she’s been in therapy her whole life for her anger issues and feels like she physically needs to lash out when she’s being confronted.  (but clearly she’s okay being the one to do the confronting – that’s different.)

Mike Shouhed has a quick lunch with his BFF, aka his mom. Mike’s brain screams ‘SQUIRREL’ like the dog in “Up”: he can’t concentrate because there’s a modeling agency across the street with a stream of gorgeous women filing in and out.  Anyone else think he looks like a cross between Lenny Kravitz and Kelly Ripa’s husband Mark Consuelos?

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Meanwhile, back at the cheese store, Reza drops $8,000 on champagne. MJ, clearly he’s not trailing TOO FAR behind you in real estate sales.

Let’s get this party started.  Mike brings the same girl from the pool party, so Reza tells her she’s won the Persian boyfriend lottery.  She’s not the flavor of the week, but of the month.

GG shows up late so she can make her dramatic entrance.  After GG refuses to acknowledge Anita’s existence, refusing to even say hi, Anita decides to flit around the champagne party trying to gain sympathy and supporters. Maybe she’s not the innocent little bunny that Reza thinks she is.

GG gets an “F” in the champagne testing, only getting one right.  I guess she doesn’t know her rich people drinks as well as she thought. I have to give her points, though – she was a good sport about it.

The tension builds between Anita and GG and things finally get confrontational in the kitchen. GG initiates, asking Anita if she has something to say to her.  GG lies to Anita and swears she never meant anything negative about her dress being from a few seasons ago and tries to say that she gushed about how gorgeous Anita looked in her dress.  GG says Anita should stop listening to everybody else because they’re clearly lying to her.  Can we roll tape, please?

Reza ranks the crazies and GG is #1, with MJ running a close second.  Reza is also wise.

GG takes Anita by the hand and pulls her aside in private and lays on the B.S. thick.  They hug it out and all is right in Beverly Hills…til next week!

I’m loving this train wreck of a show.  It’s a little bit of everything – it’s like Selling LA and Jersey Shore had a reality TV baby together and it was raised by the entire cast of “Housewives” (pick any city).

TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SHOW SO FAR? DO YOU THINK MJ LOST ANY POTENTIAL REAL ESTATE CLIENTS AFTER HER DRUNKEN BATHTUB BELLY FLOP? DID YOU HAVE ANY SYMPATHY FOR GG AFTER SHE ADMITTED TO HAVING THERAPY FOR HER ANGER?  ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT WEEK? COLONICS, ANYONE?

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