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When we were last at the Home For Wayward Girls aka the Bad Girls Club, the Spongebob Twins, Gabi and Dani were hiding out in some garage talking to a show producer. He ended up taking them to a hotel for the night. We open up last night’s episode with the girls returning from their night away.

At this point, the talking heads are all so repetitive: the twins hate everyone and the rest of the girls hate them. While talking to the twins, Elease forgets she is on a low-budget trashy reality show and tries to tell the twins that the others wouldn’t hate them if they weren’t so awful. Gabi tells her that this is the bad girls club and that she will call everyone else out as “fake” if she wants to. Elease immediately calls her sister Shneal, who encourages Elease to jump them, and the two begin laughing hysterically as they yell out suggestions like using pepper spray. I didn’t realize Bad Girls Club was code for Girls Who Like To Assault People.

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The twins decide to go to a psychic, but not before being totally disgusting in the car and talking about how gassy they are. The psychic is super fake, which I’m surprised the twins didn’t pick up on, since I thought picking out fakeness was their passion in life. One of them has been taking “maternity pills” to grow longer hair, but doesn’t understand how to actually consume them for that purpose. These girls are true winners.

The girls head home and call a house meeting, where nothing is really said or resolved. Someone, somewhere decides it’s a good idea to bring Mimi back from Miami and enlists Amy, who is not on the “let’s jump the twins” bandwagon, to supposedly call her and convince her to return. Does anyone else think this was planned all along? It makes more sense when you realize this is the episode where the twins finally just leave the house, so Mimi’s return is as a replacement.

Moving on to a plot line that is not entirely directed by the twins, Erica is excited for her boyfriend Chris‘s visit and talks about how she won’t need any foreplay when they get to bed. Thanks for that, Erica! She calls Chris to confirm his arrival at the airport and he mumbles throughout the conversation. Not a good sign. When they’re finally at the house, he looks totally uninterested in her, but manages to scrounge up enough interest to have sex with her, which the rest of the girls hear. I can’t believe Erica kept her mic on! I don’t even think I’ve heard that kind of thing on the Big Brother feeds! Gia and Elease giggle over Erica’s sex noises.

The next day, Erica makes Chris do a confessional with her and asks his opinion of the other girls. He doesn’t care. She seems genuinely excited to see him and he is over it. Erica, Gia and Chris go bowling but Chris asks if he can go hang at the casino instead. In a rare moment of insight, Gabi talking heads that Erica’s relationship is not as great as she’s made it out to be. She’s right! This dude seems like an uninteresting loser. That night, Erica breaks up with Chris who barely registers that she is there. He decides to leave early the next day, and Erica does that horrible co-dependent thing and asks him to stay a few extra hours, but he won’t have it. He tells her it was her choice to go out there. Erica admits to having daddy issues and says she doesn’t know how to be alone. Better alone than with a guy who can’t speak!

The girls go out clubbing to the Blue Martini, and Erica runs into a lesbian friend who IS into her. I think the editing monkeys are at it again; in her talking head Erica says she’s “single for the night” not that she’s broken up with Chris for good. So, her lady pond flirtation may have been before Chris’s visit. Who knows with this show? Mimi returns while the girls are out and everyone is happy.

The next morning, Mimi plots with Elease and Gia to finally jump the twins. She says, in the best line ever, “those hoes are fraudulent.” Amazing line. Gabi and Dani leave to go get more take out and the rest of the girls, minus Amy, take that opportunity to vandalize their own house with the twins’ groceries, throwing shrimp into the pool (“now we have an ocean!” says Erica) and spilling alfredo sauce out on the kitchen floor. The twins return, notice the food everywhere and start to wreck the kitchen as retaliation. Gabi runs upstairs to confront the other girls and decides to empty out the bathroom trash (full of tampons and other fun items) out on Gia’s bed. When she does that, all hell breaks loose and the girls get jumped. The editing is fast and loose here, but we do get the pleasure of seeing not one, but two staff members in the middle of the fight. Poor dudes!

The twins flee, but not before Dani calls their father in tears. He doesn’t seem too concerned his daughters just got seriously beat up. After another night at the hotel, the twins come back to the house with bodyguards and pack up the rest of their stuff quietly. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the girls who hurl insults at them as they finally leave. One more call to their father is made, and he does not seem pleased, and asks them to call him later. Gabi and Dani seem very proud of themselves. They came, they saw, they conquered, they say. Really? That seems like a loose definition of “conquer.”

And on Twitter, Gabi and Dani have stated that the actual jumping happened before their trip to Cabo, and that in reality, they stayed in the house for two weeks after being jumped. They also stated that they were not in the house during Chris’ visit and when Mimi returned. The house meeting from last night also apparently took place after the jumping. That actually makes sense and would explain the tension and divide during the trip. The BGC editors sure are tricky. But whatever the case, it seems the twins got their karma handed to them.

TELL US — WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE EPISODE? DID THE TWINS DESERVE TO GET JUMPED? DID YOU WATCH THE TWINS SPECIAL WITH TANISHA?

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