Oh gracious! We’ve got an entirely new city of mobster offspring. Last night’s premiere of Mob Wives: Chicago proved to be even more intense (in my opinion) than it’s predecessor.
Renee Russo is proud that she’s a party to some major mob shiz in Chicago. Her uncle was a big wig in one of the major crime families, and viewers learn early on that he treated his niece like a princess. She lived a high rolling fairy tale until her uncle’s best friend gunned him down…in the back. Can I get Big Ang calling out a rat? Renee reveals that she has two daughters, ages twenty and ten. She reveals that her eldest daughter’s father is in jail for murder. She claims to be about class, respect, and loyalty while pulling on her thigh boots and heading out for the evening.
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Nora Schweihs is another new mob wife. Her father is a notorious hit-man who is “presumed dead.” There are rumors that he had something to do with the death of Marilyn Monroe. Nora is scary. She’s also classy…from her own mouth. Nora brags that she’s been drinking Dom since she was five. Okay. That’s something to brag about. Her father passed away while in jail, so she is lacking closure, having never gotten to see her father laid to rest. Maybe he’s still alive?
Pia Rizza has a father who is still in the witness protection program. He was a crooked cop who worked with the mob, and she claims that her father is an embarrassment for being a rat. Growing up she told her friends her father was dead so she wouldn’t have to deal with the shame of people knowing her dad was an informant. Oh, and by the way, Pia is a stripper, and proud of it.
Pia and Nora are like sisters. Nora is happy to be back in Chicago and back with Pia. Nora reminds Pia that stripping isn’t the job that will bring her everything she hopes. In turn, Pia hopes she can be a support to Nora while she tries to track down her father’s body. The original Mob Wives have nothing on these ladies!
Renee welcomes her oldest daughter home. The pair cooks dinner while they argue about Renee’s daughter’s father. Her daughter (who never knew her dad) wants to know why she can’t have a relationship with her murderous dad. Her daughter is in tears. Renee tries to tell her daughter that her father was absent because he is a murderer. Renee’s daughter doesn’t want to hear it.
Renee and Nora head to lunch. We learn that Renee and Pia aren’t on the best terms. Nora, however, considers Pia to be family. Renee isn’t keen on Pia’s stripping. She finds it to pathetic. Get off the pole! Renee’s word’s, not mine. Nora can’t handle Renee’s judgmental ways. However, when Renee reminds Nora that Pia’s father was a dirty cop who ratted out their own, Renee flounders. Renee feels sorry for Pia VH1 is setting up the alliances for Mob Wive: Chicago as I type. These women are so much more hardcore than their original counterparts, I can’t help but wonder if VH1 made a mistake not leading with these ladies.
Pia hears some gossip from her cousin about Nora. Pia makes lots of excuses for Nora. This friendship seems to be on a downward spiral. We meet Christina Scoleri who claims to be an average mom. She grew up with a lot of fighting. Her father was “allegedly” a burglar for the mob. While her father taught her how to spring safes, she isn’t one who wants to carry on the family business. Christina still lives with her ex-husband. The pair was married for ten years, and no one knows about their divorce…not her family, not their nine-year-old daughter. That’s healthy.
Pia and Christina meet up for coffee, and they hope to bring Nora into their group. Pia has heard rumors that Nora has been talking about her behind her back. Bring on the drama! We’re introduced to Leah Desimone, and apparently what you see is what you get with her. She has no clue about her father’s crimes because she and her brother were kept in the dark. As far as she knows, her absentee dad was in college…for years and years and years. She loves the guys from her neighborhood, and she’s a proud “chubby chaser.” Is that even a thing?
Leah and Christina meet up and discuss converging the new group. Neither lady can believe how Nora is acting towards Pia. Leah knows that she can’t hang out with the ladies because she may tempted to hit someone with a shovel. The women are meeting up, and I am still trying to figure out the dynamics among this crew. Who likes whom? Who hates whom?
Renee apparently hates Pia. However, all of the women convene on a Chicago bar and seem to be committed to a fun night out on the town. Renee finds Pia to be classless, and takes the opportunity to call Pia’s dad a rat. Pia hopes that Renee will learn that she’s not proud to be her father’s daughter. Renee is just happy to learn that Pia isn’t going to go head to head with her any time soon. Nora reveals that dating is difficult when suitors find out about her father. Christina asks Nora if her father was a hit man. Apparently the cardinal rule is you don’t bring up the mob ties that garnered you a place on this show. This happy hour is going down hill very quickly.
Pia decides to address Nora about her “whore” comments. Nora reminds me of an SNL character, but I can’t quite pinpoint which one. Pia and Nora are arguing about cousins and whores, and cousins who call people whores. The other ladies don’t doubt that Nora called Pia something. The duo hugs. Of course, Christina and Renee won’t let it drop. Christina won’t let the topic die, claiming to be Pia’s advocate. However, when Pia gets upset with Christina, all hell breaks loose.
Christina and Nora (I think? I can’t seem to keep these women straight!) are going at when a drink is thrown. Hair is pulled. VH1 dudes are called in to separate the crazies. Oh Chicago…we thought we knew Mob Wives until we met thee…
This season, punches are thrown, hammers are threatened, ladies claim to be classier because they are…well classier. Without a doubt, some form of therapy is involved.