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I don’t mean to be a broken record, but could VH1 be any more obvious?  Hair-pulling bar fights are now tempered with a “non-violent” episode.  How stupid do you think I am, VH1?  Well, last night’s Mob Wives Chicago had no violence, but just wait till next week!   The women b*tched and moaned about one another, but there was thankfully no slapping or hair tugging.  I am at a loss for words.

Nora Schweihs welcomes Pia Rizza in for a glass or three of wine.  Nora is reliving Renee Fecarotta Russo‘s attack.  Pia is upset that Nora still wants a friendship with Renee.  Nora’s account of the pair’s fight is much different from what I watched, but apparently Nora thinks she was the instigator and the stronger fighter of the two.  Nora makes the mistake of telling Pia that she’d rather strip than worry about Renee.  Pia laughs at the comparison, but she doesn’t call out Nora on her verbal ridiculousness.  I mean, after all, Pia is dancing.  All the time.  On a pole.

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Leah Disimone is spending the afternoon with her mother.  Leah’s mom wishes that Leah wouldn’t show off the “girls” as much as her daughter does. We learn that Leah’s mom was just diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer.  I love how strong her mom is in light of Leah’s concern.  Her mom wants Leah to be strong for her…she just wants her to party.  This hits close to home for me, and I love that my mom acted in the exact same way as Leah’s did, knowing I reacted in the exact same way that Leah did.

Christina Scoleri is shopping for fabric with Renee as Christina hopes to get back into fashion design.  Renee relays her fight with Nora to Christina.  Christina is floored to hear about the duo’s brawl.  She thinks that Nora is burning her bridges around Chicago.

Nora and Pia’s dogs have a play date.  Pia is sick to death about hearing about Renee…she wants Nora to stop consuming herself with Renee.  Pia is screaming at Nora about Renee saying that Nora doesn’t want to hear another word about Renee.  Pia is willing to scrap her friendship with Nora if she can’t stop being so worried about her fight with Renee.   There is a lot of yelling. Nora’s eyes are wider than normal.

Christina meets with her therapist.  She admits that her daughter heard through friends that Christina and her father were getting a divorce.  Christina is distraught about lying to her daughter about getting a divorce.  Her daughter was (obviously) upset to learn through friends that her parents were divorced but still living together while pretending to be married.  I can’t understand why their child would be so confused, can you?

Nora calls Christina to invite her to Nora’s birthday party.  Christina is wary about going to random party where the destination is unknown.  Nora reveals to Christina that the party should be relatively drama free as Renee won’t be invited.  Meanwhile, across the Windy Cindy, Renee is having tea with her eldest daughter.  Renee is sporting her ashes from Ash Wednesday, and Renee tells her daughter Giana that she’s willing to go to the prison to see Giana’s dad.  Giana wants to know more about her father who has been in jail for murder most of her life.  She wants to ask her dad how he feels about Renee joining her on her next trip to the prison.  Poor Giana just wants to see her father without exacerbating the hatred that is rampant between her parents.

Christina and Leah meet for coffee and they complain about Nora’s upcoming birthday party, as well as the fact that Christina’s daughter heard about her parents’ divorce at a slumber party.  Leah breaks down talking about her mom’s cancer diagnosis.  Pia and Leah are having difficult time buying a birthday gift for Nora.  The women have rules from Nora that they must wear closed toed shoes.   Leah knows very little about Nora and she’s confused as to why she’s even invited to this shindig.  Pia fills in Leah on how over she is about Nora’s obsession is regarding Nora’s friendship breakdown with Renee.

Giana gets a collect call from her father in prison.  He tells her that if Renee wants to come with Giana on her next visit he’s fine with that.  We learn that Giana and her father talk daily, and she loves their relationship.  Given this one phone call that VH1 has let us to be privy to, he sounds like a stand-up father…minus the murder part.  Giana cries while explaining her relationship with her father.  He leaves it up to her as to whether her mom is present at their next visit.

Nora’s birthday party starts out on a party bus, and one statement into the evening, Nora is already upset with Pia for letting men buy her stuff.  Um, she’s a stripper.  Isn’t that par for the course?  No judgement, but isn’t that how “dancers” roll?  Heck, they are smarter than I am in that department!  The outspoken Leah is creeped out by the sex talk…this isn’t how she rolls.   The women arrive at their destination, and all of them are a tad disappointed to find out that said destination is go-kart riding.  I can’t say I blame them.

While Pia is over the venue, she’s happy that Nora is having a good time for her birthday. Nora is upset when the majority of the guest list doesn’t attend.  Leah, the new psychotherapist of the group, diagnoses Nora as a child trapped in a woman’s body.  Leah may need to start some counseling classes stat.  She needs to do this full time.

Giana meets with a friend do figure out if her mom Renee should come with her to the jail to see her dad.  Giana thinks it’s weird that her mom would want to see her father since it’s clear how much Renee hates him.  Giana’s friend thinks that Renee is jealous of Giana’s relationship with her dad.  Giana regretfully agrees, citing that her mom wishes Giana hated her father as much as Renee does.  Giana has a good head on her shoulders, despite the fact that her father is in prison for umpteen years and her mother is craz-zazy.

Nora is popping bottles on the party bus post go-kart racing.  Christina toasts to Nora and announces that she’s going to have a big party to celebrate all of the women getting along.  Christina reminds Nora that Renee will be invited to the party.  Nora goes off while Pia reminds viewers that she’s sick of hearing about Renee.  Leah worries about potential repercussions about all of the ladies socializing.  She’s smart, that one.

Renee visits Christina at her house to view Christina’s newest fashion designs.  Renee’s jaw totally disconnects from itself when she learns of Nora’s birthday shindig.  No big deal…Renee wouldn’t have attended anyway.  Christina wants to have a party to celebrate her divorce, but she wants Renee to know that Nora will also be invited.  After talking to Renee, Christina is a bit concerned that a murder may occur at her party.  Geez, Renee can go from zero to insane in ten seconds, can’t she?

Pia and Nora are at the gym rehashing Nora’s party and chatting about Christina’s upcoming party.  Pia doesn’t think that Nora should discount Christina’s party just because Renee will be there.  Pia is trying to be the peacekeeper, but she ends up thinking that Nora may be a tad on the insane side.  Nora is losing all her friends faster than Renee is!  Who would have thought?!?  The duo is screaming across the elliptical machines, and Nora isn’t going to listen to anymore.  Pia doesn’t understand why Nora can’t see that Renee is a bad friend, and she’s curious as to why she’s an outsider just because she strips.  Pia reminds Nora that she and Renee have other friends who fancy the pole, and Nora leaves screaming that those friends were VIP dancers.  Totes different. Screaming outside an elevator ensues.  At the end of the episode, it’s safe to say that Nora and Pia are no longer friends.

Next week is Christina’s party and she’s concerned about the dynamic of crazy she’s invited.  It’s Nora versus…well everyone on the show.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?  DO ALL OF THESE WOMEN HATE EACH OTHER?  HAVE YOU FOUND A FAVORITE YET?

 

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