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Shane is everything in the Big Brother house this week – HoH, PoV, and RSM (resident stud muffin). Shane had a secret alliance with Frank, so he targeted Janelle Pierzina‘s team for eviction. Janelle‘s sexual prowess gave her an edge in the (disturbing) coaches challenge. Janelle’s win saved Wil from the chopping block. With Wil off the table, Shane nominated Joe and Ashley for eviction. Whoa, shocker! Everyone expected one person from Team Janelle and one person from Mike Boogie Malin‘s team. The hamsters quickly scurried away from the nomination ceremony to discuss, celebrate, scheme, and/or plan their next move. Except for Danielle. She’s a challenged skinny hamster. She simply found her way to the RSM’s bed and refused to leave. I say “skinny,” because if I don’t say anything, she’ll assume I’m calling her a fat hamster. And I can’t deal with her brand of crazy today.

Janelle worked her magic and Ian worked his social awkwardness, leaving Shane feeling uneasy about Frank. Britney Haynes‘s, like, on a constant 2-day delay in the Big Brother house, but she eventually caught up to Shane’s thinking. At the PoV ceremony, Shane made a bold (stupid? it’s up for interpretation) move. Shane denominated Ashley and named Frank as the replacement nominee. Frank knew it was coming, but Boogie and Ian, who was blamed for the shake up, were blindsided. Shane told Frank that he wasn’t the target, the move was simply a numbers game to ensure Joe‘s eviction. Frank remains optimistic; however, the hamsters are counting down the hours until they can evict him.

Who is evicted – Frank or Joe? Will the coaches enter the game? (as if we really had a choice)

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Boogie thought his team was completely safe this week. He wants to sit by the pool and relax all week. Immediately following the veto ceremony, Boogie is annoyed. Frank on the block means he actually has to <gasp> play the game. What a pisser.

Ashley cheers, “I did it! Yay!” What did she do?  Joe screams in the diary room, as per usual. Britney goes to Boogie, all smiles. She says,”Look, Boogs. I know you’re pissed.”  Britney tells Boogie about Ian‘s finicky answers. Boogie’s hair is messy in a way that makes him look like he has devil horns.

Shane, Britney, Janelle, Ashley, and Wil are in the HoH room, talking about the PoV meeting. Britney is proud of their big move. She says most people in Big Brother are afraid to make bold moves, always taking the safe way out. Ashley is talking about spirituality and working out – and everyone zones out. Is she still on drugs for her back or this just her personality?

Boogie and Frank get on Ian‘s case about his role in this mess. Ian tells them what he said to Britney and says, “I just didn’t want to write a check a write that I may not be able to cash.” Boogie is flabbergasted! He’s like, are you serious right now? He says to Ian, “This is the Big Brother house. You can bounce checks.” Boogie knows Britney and Shane have a lot of power over Danielle, and she’s the only extra vote they need to keep Frank safe.

Janelle, Joe, and Wil are outside talking about Frank. Wil doesn’t think Frank is a bad person. Janelle is bashing Frank constantly. She calls him pure evil. Janelle is getting to Wil. You can see it in his face. It looks like he’s getting exasperated by Janelle’s constant attempts to convince Frank is bad for Wil’s game. I don’t think Wil appreciates Janelle telling him what’s good or bad for his game. I think Wil wants to play his own game, independent of his coach. Janelle fails to read Wil’s body language, of course, so she continues. She says she worked tirelessly all week to keep her players safe. Here comes Wil’s diary room sessions. Yup, he’s had enough of coach Janelle. He says she’s being condescending and treating him like he’s worthless. Wil walks away, saying he’s going to bed. Joe says to Janelle, “What is his deal?” Janelle says, “He’s such a bitchy guy.”

Joe is screaming at me in the diary room again. He’s freaking out because Wil is at odds with Janelle. Joe picks Wil‘s brain, then takes everything back to Ashley and Janelle. Joe tells Janelle everything bad Wil said about Janelle. In the diary room, Janelle says if Wil flips on her and votes out Joe, she’s basically done. This totally speaks volumes about her faith in Ashley.

Janelle pulls Wil into the arcade room for a talk. Wil feels as if Janelle treats him like an idiot. Janelle says that makes her so sad. Then, “Oh, hold on, I have to get my tissue.” She just happens to have a tissue in her back pocket and she makes a big production about pulling it out. Their conversation is meaningless. Far more telling and entertaining, the diary room sessions:

Janelle: I will do or say anything to make sure Wil is on board with voting out Frank this week. Even if it means shedding a few fake tears.

Wil: Act one, scene two. Insert waterworks. Crying. Telling me everything I want to hear. I’m not buying it, but I’ll act along and let’s pretend like we get along. But I’m not trusting her for another second in this house.

Frank and Boogie talk to Dan about Danielle. Frank needs her vote. They tell Dan that Danielle is 100% protected because if they win HoH, they’re going after Janelle’s team. If Janelle’s team wins HoH, they’re coming after Boogie’s team. Frank says he trusts Dan. He asks Dan how much he trusts each of them. Dan tells Frank, “Going off this game, everything you’ve said, you’ve done.” For Boogie, going off his highlights reel from season’s past, he couldn’t give him the same compliment. In the diary room, Dan says he’s currently on Team Get Rid of Frank, but he admits Frank and Boogie peeked his interest.

Later, Danielle asks Dan what she should do. Dan says, right now, he’d rather work with Boogie and Frank. After Big Brother edits out most of this conversation, Dan says to Danielle, “Who do we run with?” No surprise – she says Shane. Dan tells Danielle to stop liking him. He says, you’re not going to date when you get out of here, he’s not your husband, he’s not your real boyfriend. Danielle probably has no idea how she got in this strange house. She’s just hanging around, waiting for Shane to give her a rose.

Live with Julie Chen

Julie talks to Ian. There’s a strange girl sitting next to Ian. Hold on.. J-something. I vaguely remember her introduction at the beginning of the season but haven’t seen or heard from her since. Julie asks Ian about the $3000 Boogie gifted him. He plans on using it for rent and basic necessities. Oh, Ian, you’re way too responsible to be on this show.

Julie‘s been instructed to push the noshowmance between Shane and Danielle. OMG, you guys totally kissed this week! <squeals> How was it? Danielle lies, she plays it cool and says a 10. In her head, she’s screaming 12! and then she faints. Shane also lies. He says a 10.5. In his head, he’s thinking let’s drop this charade now.

Julie talks to Shane privately. Julie asks, why did Shane put more blood on his hand by changing his own nominations? He basically says, because Britney told me to. The status of his relationship with Frank? Shane says not so good, but mainly because he doesn’t trust Boogie. Julie wants to know what’s in store for Shane and Danielle. Shane says she’s a sweet and funny girl but he’s not interested in a romance inside the Big Brother house.

Not Live with Julie Chen

Julie! Where did you go?! Why are we learning about Frank‘s family instead of doing live votes, live eviction, learning the coaches’ fate, and setting up the HoH competition? I’m getting a bad feeling about tonight.

Instead of important stuff relevant to the game, we see Frank tell Boogie that his Dad is Sid Vicious. In the diary room, Franks says, “My dad is definitely a bit of a legend in the wrestling world. He’s wrestled all the big boys – Sting, The Iron Sheet, Macho Man. Him and Hulk Hogan were tag teams, fought each other once too. Won a couple of belts.” In the time it took him to say that, Frank took at least 12 big blinks. Why does Frank blink so hard and so often? Frank’s dad looks like a sun burnt and down on his luck Joe. Picture Britney in 20 years, that’s Frank’s mom.

Live with Julie Chen

Julie addresses the houseguests. Before the live vote and eviction, she has some news for them that may change the game. Julie explains America’s choice.

This is supposed to be a huge surprise, right? Then why are the coaches dressed to play HoH?

Voting results – of course America wants the coaches to enter the game! Now, it’s up to the coaches to decide. If the coaches decide to enter the game, they’ll reset the game right here and now, meaning everyone will be working as individuals, there will be no eviction this week, and everyone will be eligible to compete for head of household. If the coaches decide to continue as coaches, some of the evicted houseguests will have a chance to return to the game next week. If just one coach hits the reset button, the decision is made for them all.

Britney resets, Boogie does not reset, Dan resets, and Janelle resets. Dan says, “It’s time to get dirty!”

No eviction. NO EVICTION! So, Shane‘s entire HoH meant nothing. Shane has every right to be livid! The coaches are now in the game they’ve been watching from the sidelines for three weeks. They know who is aligned with whom, who has stayed true, who has lied, and everyone’s strategy. Perhaps the most unfair part of this ridiculous twist is that Janelle, Britney, Boogie, and Dan just got a free ride to week four.

Head of Household

HoH is an endurance competition called “Walk the Plank.”

Thanks to the bogus generous reset of the game, everyone is competing, including out-going HoH Shane and the used-to-be coaches.

As the show closes, everyone is still firmly on their plank, so Big Brother makes it rain on them. Who will be the first one to drop? Who will be the last one standing and the new HoH? How long will the competition last? Stay tuned…

WERE YOU PREPARED FOR A COMPLETE RESET OF THE GAME? 

 

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