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On last night's Project Runway the designers took a field trip to Lord & Taylor where they were confronted by the ghosts of season's past. Before them sat 9 mannequins from previous seasons' designers and a daunting task: make a cocktail dress inspired by a previous designer's work.

Sadly, the mannequins did not bear masks with the previous designers' faces. I have to say I was sort of giggling thinking of the variations in past winners. I noticed The Sleeveless One Who Shall Not Be Named did not have a mannequin. Is it because Lord & Taylor costumers don't wear schmattas or mumus?

The winning look will be sold at the NYC Flagship Lord & Taylor and online. The winning dress will also be featured in their 5th Avenue window. Here's all the Project Runway for Lord & Taylor looks.   

It's important to keep in mind the Lord & Taylor costumer who is sophisticated (matronly), loves fashion (wealthy), and timeless (my mom's age). The retail price must be between $200-$300. And – NO Moods! The Lord & Taylor manufactures will provide notions and materials. 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE FASHION TRASHIN’!

Christopher is going to make, like, the best gown ever. EVER! Better than Barbie? Does that make him sound like a tulle? See what I did there? Sorry… couldn't resist! 

To say there were problems this episode was an understatement. They could've mopped the workroom floor with all the tears.

Also, I think this was the day the colorwheel took a vacation. Everyone had a meltdown, everyone cried over Lord & Taylor not making them feel good about themselves, and everyone used NO COLOR. Seriously, y'all! Have those designers ever been to L&T. Them peeps love color. Black does not automatically mean sophisticated. 

So no one went home last night. Which is the dumbest thing ever. It was supposed to make up for Andrea and Kooan leaving the show on their volition. I can think of a few designers that still should have been sent packing… 

 

Anyway, let's trash some looks! 

[Photo Credits: LifetimeTV.com]

CHRISTOPHER: Christopher won for I don't know what; an ace bandage with an uneven gaping hole in the back? A ace bandage that failed at its job? Oh, and a plain boring boresville skirt.

Also, 65,000 other REAL designers have already done this style much better: Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, Jil Sander, Olivier Theyskens to name a few. I can't believe that won. NEXT! 

ALICIA: Sparkly tennis dress. From The Great Gatsby era. So shapeless and that skirt was wonky-o! She said this was "inspired by Chanel…" Karl Largerfeld has a hit out on you girl. RUN! 

ELENA: Ok Star Trek. This is a mess. AGAIN she is over-designing and just doing too, too much with volume. The material was really heavy, so she layered about a thousand over-lay straps on top? It was just super unflattering, Michelin Man shaped, but at least she tried something other than a totally bland cocktail dress.

GUNNAR: Department store figure skating costume. Save it for the 2014 Olympics, kiddo! OK, it was a little cute, albeit generic. 

FABIO: Oh, wha… sorry. Fell asleep! Those straps in the back remind me of my Baby Bjorn. 

MELISSA: Roland Mouret called Melissa and Victoria Beckham. He wants both y'all to quit stealing his dress, but he did point out that at least Vicki can do a decently tailored version. C'mon girl  we expect better, you actually have chops! I do like the neckline and the fabric choice at least. And I usually think she does a great job, she just choked on this one. 

DMITRY: Well, I may be clouded by my love affair but I like this… I know, it's a little (a lot) severe, and it's got tons going on, but the fit is impeccable and it's kind of interesting. I thought this was one of the best options on the runway and was surprised the judges completely overlooked this. I do wish it had some color.

SONJIA: She really struggled after last week's lambasting and was afraid to show too much of herself. Don't ever do that again, because the result was well-fitted but completely boring. Also that little sad, flipping, ballerina skirt peplum. Sads. 

VEN: C'mon… TRY! This is so matronly. So overly done. SO mother of the bride. At least we didn't have to hear him speak very much last night… 

TELL US – ARE YOU SURPRISED NO ONE WENT HOME? DID CHRISTOPHER DESERVE THE WIN?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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