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Oh Countess.  What a tangled web we weave…The etiquette queen of was caught up in a scandal on the most recent episode of her Housewives franchise.  LuAnn De Lesseps, who is dating Ross Gellar Jacques Azoulay seemed to be straying to a more Johnny Depp-esque pirate beau when the Manhattannite women were vacationing in St. Barths. 

While her cast mates wondered who she'd come home with after a night on the town, LuAnn found herself in a fistful of Italian lies after she fibbed about who came home with her after a night of partying on the island.  The truth will set you free, LeAnn…or at least, it won't make it look like you're hooking up with a pirate while your French boyfriend waits in New York to give you a new baby.  Oh the scandal!

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Apparently, LeAnn was mortified at how the footage portrayed her "innocent evening with Jack Sparrow" and she was hopeful that Bravo would leave the clips of the evening on the cutting room floor.  Of course, we all know that didn't happen!

A source close to the show tells Radar Online, "LuAnn begged Bravo execs to not air footage of the Captain Sparrow look alike leaving the vacation house in the very early morning hours. LuAnn was absolutely beside herself at the prospect of the man leaving the house in the same clothes he was wearing the night before being seen on television, especially by her boyfriend, Jacques Azoulay."

The insider adds, "Bravo agreed to not air the footage of the walk of shame by her new friend that she made on the trip, but drew the line at any other requests LuAnn made in regards to the Johnny Depp twin."

LuAnn was out of control while trying to court the young Edward Scissorhands.  She demanded, "You have to make a special pirate introduction.  I want to be special, not like your other pirate women," she continued, "I'm an Indian, don't f*ck with me. No more shots… it's about the moment."  Didn't she learn about the Indian comments from episodes past?  Geez, LuAnne!  Get with the politically correct program!

LuAnn was quick to tell someone close to the situation, "Can you do a favor for me, a big favor? I went out with Tom last night. You know, the one that looks a bit like Johnny Depp? And the girls, they know I brought someone here. He can't say that he was here last night with me. I don't want the girls to know he was here with me."

Of course, LuAnn addresses the supposed affair on her Bravo blog, and she laughs off the idea that she'd be unfaithful…especially with cameras rolling.  She writes, "What may have looked like infidelity on last night's episode was in reality, a ride home with a friend and a tour of the house after an evening of fun on vacation eight months ago.  Do you think I would bring a man back to a houseful of housewives (and cameras) if I were planning on having an affair?"

LuAnn concludes, "My big mistake was trying to avoid the speculation and assumptions by telling a white lie.  As I write this, Jacques and I are on vacation and we couldn't be more united and happy."  Yeah, sure (nudge, nudge), we believe you, Countess!  Why wouldn't we?  Oh wait…because we watched the episode?

TELL US-DO YOU BUY LUANN'S DENIAL OR DO YOU THINK SHE TOTALLY GOT IT ON WITH THAT GUY FROM 21 JUMP STREET?

 

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