Because Bravo knows a good thing when it sees it, last night we were treated to even more madness from the Real Housewives of New Jersey. While the season was supposed to be over after the reunion trilogy (The Hunger Games it was not), the network decided to milk a little bit more out of the women and the viewers. So it is without further ado, I present to you the lost footage from season four. It's actually very telling to see what ended up on the cutting room floor, and what's being revisited in light of the ongoing feud surrounding Teresa Giudice and
everyone else Melissa Gorga. Editing truly is magical!
Narrated by Andy Cohen, the episode takes us behind the scenes of what happened during the season and at the far-too-drawn-out reunion. Buckle up (if you haven't boycotted the show yet!), and enjoy the bumpy ride with Melissa, Teresa, Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, and Kathy Wakile. It's truly a sight.
We begin with a lost cause…Andy is trying to convince Juicy Joe (once again) that homophobic slurs are offensive and nasty. Joe is all, Ahhwatdisagain? before turning into a brick wall of Who Cares. By the way, did you know that Joe went on a boat ride with seven guys and one of them was gay? He is not a homophobe. The comments he made about Gregg Bennett were meant to be funny, not mean. He's so sorry Greggy doesn't have a sense of humor! Jacqueline tells Andy that she thinks Joe speaks more out of ignorance than maliciousness. Fair enough.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE!
For some comic relief, Andy treats us to a charity tank pull to benefit The Wounded Warrriors, where Caroline has divided the crew into teams along family lines to pull giant army tanks across the finish line. It's the Manzos and the Lauritas against the Giudices and Wakiles. Teresa arrives with an entourage of muscle we've never seen before. Someone from Camp Manzo dubs them the steroid crew. Tre then tries to convince Victoria Wakile that she doesn't need to pull, but Rosie Pierri won't hear of it. It's a charity event and everyone can participate. Teresa has a difficult time contemplating someone telling her that winning doesn't matter. Of course, not one to be outdone, Caroline then recruits a bunch of army dudes for their team. Rich Wakile is cheering against his own team just because he wants to see Teresa's face if she loses. Teresa cries foul at the use of the army guys since they "pull tanks every day," and she watches with seemingly great concern as her team is beaten. May I remind you once again that this is a charity event?
We're back to the reunion, and Andy shows a hilarious montage of all of children acting crazy…and then the adult children acting like little kids and then the husbands acting like utter fools. It's a very fun and positive segment until Jacqueline starts talking under her breath about how Milania totally could have heard the word "hooker" from her mother. Gino is touted as Melissa's hand full, and Andy questions Chris Laurita whether he thinks Albie and Chris Manzo are mature enough to run their own business given that their immature antics always seem to get on his nerves. He thinks all is well with the boys and the business.
We're then treated to several minutes of Teresa perusing a Manhattan bookstore to find out if she as a New Yorks Times Bestsellers authors (did I say that right?) has her cookbook in the store. It's not to be found on any shelf. There is an awkward exchange between the bestselling author and the young bookstore clerk about why her book isn't in the store and who she needs to speak with about having it ordered. The clerk tells Teresa that they order books based on customer demands, and that Fabulicious is in their system. "So it sold out?" asked an excited Tre. Yeah, no. They never ordered it. Oops!
On the reunion sofas, Andy reminds Teresa of an In Touch cover story she did where she apologizes via the tabloid for any hurt she may have caused with her cookbook humor. In interview footage, Chris and Albie hysterically go through the magazine, reading portions of Tre's apology. Jacqueline then shows some print-outs of a holiday text message she sent Teresa after the magazine was published to which she received no response. There is some back and forth (of course) between the ladies who wonder why Teresa couldn't call them to apologize, but she was able to shout her "I'm sorry!" from the cover of a national magazine. Andy questions Teresa about an editor at In Touch who claims that Tre was paid $6500 for the story. This situation right here is why Teresa needs some PR person teaching her how to stay cool. Tre starts calling said editor a liar, and she want to confront him or her even though she doesn't know who it is. She was never paid for the story. However, she is yelling and her voice is almost shrieking–she clearly just got called out and doesn't like it one bit. She wonders why it's okay for Jac to put out stories about her son's autism or Lauren Manzo to put out stories about getting a lap band. When Caroline tries to differentiate that these stories are positive, but to Teresa there is nothing positive about encouraging young women to get weight loss surgery. It's like I'm in a spin cycle with all of this craziness!
While showing footage of the trip to Chicago, Jacqueline and Chris take a walk down memory lane and chat incessantly about their first meeting at the infamous trade show. Chris describes a group dinner on the night they first met where he and Jac talked for hours as if no one else was even present. Um, couldn't have Andy just shown this clip instead of subjecting us to a five minute long argument about where the pair first met? Anyhoo…neither Chris nor Jacqueline regret not having a big wedding, although they do wish they had a nice wedding day photograph. Chris suggests a vow renewal and photography session with a reception. Back in Jersey, Caroline helps her sister-in-aw pick out a perfect dress, given that she wore gray pants and a black shirt the first go-round. We're treated to a wedding dress fashion show after which Jac decides her original candid pics are exactly how she wants to remember her big day.
There is a Father's Day celebration at the shore. We get to watch the daughter that doesn't look like the rest (sorry, I've blanked on her name–wait no, Gabriella!) gorge on an entire can of Redi-Whip and Gia break down in tears when talking about why she loves Joe. Teresa reveals that the rumors of an unfaithful Joe weigh heavily on their oldest daughter. She advises Gia to ignore magazine covers which may hint about Joe's infidelities? Does that include the ones Teresa does? I need to add that I was not insinuating anything when I said Gabriella doesn't resemble her sisters, but it's a true statement. The other two younger girls are Gia's clones! Down the street, the Wakiles and Gorgas pay tribute to the fathers they have lost. Richie says some kind words to Melissa, and the families share a touching moment. Teresa gifts Joe with a new updated wedding ban…while he doesn't like to wear rings, he guesses he'll wear it if it makes his wife happy. Awkward!
Oh hilarious! We are shown footage of Kim D. and her weave backstage at the reunion giving her commentary on an escalating fight we did see the first time around when Joe Gorga and Teresa (and then Juicy) are all fighting about the elder Gorga parents. Kim wonders when "Josephine" is going to start crying and calls him a pervert. Wow, someone really should have done something about that nest in the back of her head!
There is an RV cook-off while the families are traveling together. Poor Kathy has no help whatsoever in her RV. She sends Lauren's boyfriend Vito to spy on the other campers. Melissa tears up chopping onions, and she and Tre pretend to be in a fight when Joe asks his wife why she's crying. Teresa is proud to see Melissa working so hard to cook the dishes that Tre's mother taught her to cook, but she manages to say that while getting in digs about Melissa not coming from a family of chefs and reminding viewers that her cooking will always be better. The Manzo/Laurita van steals Teresa's steak, but Caroline admits it is too tasty to sabotage. Some unsuspecting RV neighbors are enlisted to judge the feast. The spread does look amazing, but the favorite dish is Teresa's steak. Tre thinks people should know better than to have a cook-off with a New York Times Bestselling author. And yea! She got it right that time!
Dina-gate is revisited back at the reunion. Caroline and Jacqueline believe that Teresa has some influence over their strained relationship with Dina Manzo, although there is certainly more to it than Tre. Jacqueline shares that she still speaks to Dina, but she can tell her sister-in-law is keeping her distance. I have a legitimate question for y'all–Dina and Caroline are married to brothers, right? Is there any gossip about how Dina's husband and Albert have been affected? I actually believe Teresa really wants things to be fine between Dina and her family. She seems very calm and caring regarding their relationship.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE LOST FOOTAGE? IS ENOUGH ENOUGH ALREADY?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]