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They're baaack with a wigence and a fury of sequins! And these girls work it better than any girl I know. Oh please, Latrice "Mother Effing"  Royale, please, please descend upon my house in full paint and do my make-up before unleashing me forth into the world. Mama needs to go to church and she needs her everlasting glory!

Before we go any further let me also profess my undying love for Chad Michaels (and of course Cher). I spread La Mer on my toast too, bitch. 

So let's get this recap of RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race started! Hit it, Queens! 

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST! 

I have to say the first episode felt a little scattered and rushed to me. I wish we would have been able to see the photos from the shoot longer, they sort of flashed briefly on stage. I want them to be delivered Price Is Right style with a lengthy slow cam and lots of time to linger. 

Things begin with SheMail and RuPaul announcing a very special twist: Synergy! That's right from now on they'll have to be C-U-N-Tuesdays plural. In case you forgot the Queens must possess: C.harisma, U.niqueness, N.erve and T.alent! And now S.ynergy. 

Keeping with the plural nature of things (since a queen straddles dual lines herself), the queens must compete as teams of two. Which is like twice the flavor and double the trouble. Cause if one goes home, they both go home. The queens choose their own doppelganger, but only if said doppelganger wants them too. If this brought back flashbacks of horrible high school gym class for anyone else, I'm guessing that was the point!

And the Doublemint twins are: 

Team Rujubee: Raven & Jujubee

Team Latrila: Manila Luzon & Latrice Royale

Team Shad: Chad Michaels & Shannel

Team Brown Flowers: Tammie Brown & Nina Flowers

Team Yarlexis: Alexis Mateo & Yara Sofia

Mimi Imfurst and Pandora Boxx are regrettably stuck together. Team Mandora was Team Mansadz. 

Instead of trying to make the best of it, Pandora was stuck on bitch-mode and had poop in her pants. She blamed Mimi for all the issues, but the photo shoots tell a different story. 

For the challenge the girls must take two high-fashion photos. A Half-Baked photo featuring the process of drag prep and a high fashion wet 'n' wild photo demonstrating how opposites attract. The twist – well the other twist – is they have to do each other's make-up! 

The wet 'n' wild shoot was a hot mess of black rain. There were wigs sopping, falsies dropping (falsies of the eyelashes variety) and dresses drooping. Some queens made it werq, some queens made it drown. 

It turns out Chad and Shannel have been working together for fourteen years and oddly decided to do Halloween style scars all over their necks. They had some silly explanation about being on the chopping block. Mentally I could hear Ru making a note that said: "sashay…" 

The runway show featured dynamic duos. Team Latrila went for the Drag Teletubbies look and ended up winning, because along with a stellar runway show their photos were fantastic and gripping. I personally think the iPad belted to Manila's stomach featuring her music video sold it for Ru and co. Ru loves herself a shameless self-promoter. *wink* 

I don't know WHAT Team Mandora was thinking. Pandora totally phoned it in and taped some bright green boa remnants to her shoulders while Mimi stapled an enormous boa peplum around her waste. Ghastly. And unflattering. A hundred (and 1) Muppets died in vain. 

Brown Flowers went for old school hollywood glamour and and a strange chocolate goth theme. I thought the effect was stunning and visual, but it didn't really seem like either one of them. I want neon, ziggy stardust, total seventies housewife weirdness from these two not glamagoth. 

Yarlexis did an ode to self mantra and made bodycon dresses with their partner's faces taped to each other's chests. It only makes sense given how self-obsessed these two are! 

Rujubee paid homage to the musical Chicago and I think it was one of the most successful duos. The looks were polished and fantastical without being straight up campy costume. 

Finally, Shad went um… Bob Mackie Cher but um… Bob Mackie Cher drunk? Predictably, the scars on their necks didn't go over well with the judges who also questioned their looks for the wet 'n' wild shoot. Agreed for two extremely professional, polished queens it was an all over mess – and not just because it rained on their parades! 

In the end It was Lipsync For Your Life time for Shad and Mandora. Pandora let Mimi do the lipsync then was pissed Mimi didn't do a good job. Chad Michaels stepped up to represent his team singing Paula Abdul's early 90's anthem, Opposites Attract. And of course, Mimi, despite her costume change and high-camp energy wasn't enough to out-drag a seasoned professional who knows how to work an exaggerated mouth movement and can read her audience like a fever pitch. 

So it was sashay to Mimi and Pandora. Pandora's bad attitude should have never been let out of the boxx – and maybe she would have won. And Mimi, well she was just out of her league. Sorry girls. I'm disappointed to see Pandora go so soon. 

[All Photo Credits: Logo.com]

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SEASON PREMIERE? WERE MIMI AND PANDORA THE RIGHT CHOICE TO GO HOME?

 

 

 

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