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Last week on Big Rich Texas, Bonnie Blossman, Melissa Poe, and DeAynni Hatley all wrote off Leslie Birkland after she filed a police report against Bonnie's family and ran away from New Orleans without explaining why. 
 
Also, Brandon "Booger" Overbey and Whitney Whatley became engaged. 
 
Last week, when Leslie showed her face at the country club's chili cook-off, Bonnie attacked.  On her way out, Bonnie warned Cindy Davis to watch her back around Leslie. And Cindy just cannot understand why, so she invites Bonnie for drinks to talk about it. Cindy must be sloshed more than I realized, because I cannot believe she doesn't have a single clue as to why Leslie shouldn't be trusted. To drive home her point, Bonnie tells Cindy that Leslie told Connie Dieb she's been to rehab twice and nearly lost Alex because of it. A shaken Cindy denies the rumor.
 
I have to say, if she did go to rehab, it wasn't successful. When Cindy asks why Leslie would say such a thing, Bonnie simply says Leslie likes to tell wild stories.
 
Meanwhile, Melissa and Maddie audition swimsuit models for Melissa's upcoming swimsuit coverup fashion show. At the last minute, Melissa reveals she doesn't want to model in the show, as planned. Maddie tells her mom that she should represent the "old and saggy women."
 
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With mom-and-daughter bottles of booze and crackle polish in hand, Bonnie heads over to Whitney's house for girls night. 
 
Bonnie thinks Whitney and Booger are perfect together. Why? Because Whitney hasn’t asked her for boobs since they got together. Whitney proudly says to Bonnie, “I don’t need you anymore. Brandon is buying me a boob job for my 25th birthday.” Bonnie insists this will not happen. 
 
Then, Bonnie asks to "visit" Whitney's engagement ring. Speaking of engagement, Whitney tells Bonnie she plans to "propose" to Booger (it's a thing overseas) so all the other bitches know he's taken. She also admits she's mad at Jason for walking out on her proposal. Bonnie tells her, "He's trying to protect your happiness." When Whitney says her happiness is with Booger, Bonnie tries the "rushing" angle, which prompts Whitney to reveal that Jason proposed to Bonnie after only six months. Well, that's interesting!
 
 
Cindy confronts Leslie, asking, "Did you start a rumor that I went to rehab twice and my DAUghter was almost taken away from me?" Leslie is like, Are you kidding me? Cindy is like, I heard it from Bonnie who heard it from Connie. (Then, they french braided each other's hair and played M.A.S.H. while listening to One Direction. Kidding. But, seriously, they sounds so childish.) Leslie insists it's a bold-faced lie but Cindy isn't sure who to believe. She tells Leslie, "The most hurtful part about it is that I really truly thought that we were friends. When someone turns around and stabs me in the back the way I thought you did, it's very upsetting." Leslie responds, "I would be upset too and it's taken a lot of courage for you to even share this with me." Seriously, Leslie's fakeness knows no bounds.
 
On her couch, Leslie says, "People gossip and maybe they embellish or they exaggerate but what Connie did was vicious, to make up something so horrible. I don't know why she did this but I'm going to get the bottom of it." Hahaha, I cannot get enough of Leslie's "gonna get to the bottom of it" line. Leslie promises to prove to Cindy that she can be trusted.  
 
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Before Paul heads back to New York, he takes Kalyn for a walk and surprises her with a marriage proposal. Kalyn says yes. They've been dating for three weeks; Jason would not approve! 
 
Meanwhile, DeAynni, Melissa, Connie, and Shaye head to Dee's first finished Texas Diva and Remodeling project. Melissa and Connie gush over Dee, Shaye looks like she's bored to death. Inside the house, DeAynne basically declared, all the walls begone. "I'm so impressed," Melissa says. "I thought you were just, like, a crotch-grabbing, boob-grabbing girl." Then, when Dee brags about how many balls she can juggle at once, Melissa asks her to plan her post-fashion show party. DeAynni is more than happy to plan Melissa's party, of course, and boasts, "Women sticking together and helping each other out – that's what we're all about."
 
Whitney helps herself to Bonnie's pantry. Bonnie says, "You're doing what? Coming to shop? You're going grocery shopping? In my pantry?" Grabbing some mac and cheese bowls, Whitney is like, Yup! 
 
When Jason walks in, Whitney tells him she has a "pickle to pick" with him. Jason is like, You're stealing food from MY pantry and you have a problem with ME? Whitney asks Jason why he refused to give Booger his blessing; Jason tells Whitney that he doesn't think Booger is husband material because he pierces for a living. Whitney says, "If you can't bless it, then I don't need y'all's money for my wedding." Jason retorts, "If you don't need my money for the wedding, then you don't need my groceries!" Nevertheless, Whitney storms out of the house with the mac and cheese bowls in her bag. 
 
Whitney takes Booger to the place they met, which happens to be Interstate 35, because Whitney chased Booger off the highway because he was cute. How romantic… and freaking hilarious! Booger says, "Who would ever think that a love story would start on Interstate 35 in Louisville, Texas?" Whitney proposes to Booger.

Booger says yes, of course, and then Whitney admits that Jason has refused to pay for their wedding. Booger tells Whitney, "Nothing is going to stop me from marrying my dream girl. It would make it easier if he would come around to the idea, but if not we'll pay for it." Whitney tells Booger that he best start stripping… Booger busts a few moves right there on the side of the highway.
 
The next morning, Leslie knows there's something different about Kalyn because she wakes up happy and bushy-tailed. Kalyn says, "Well, I don't have a tail, but I do have something new." She busts out the ring, and Leslie exclaims, "OMG! This is real. And it's big!" 
 
On her couch, Leslie says, "It's a little fast, but I have never seen Kalyn so happy. Now that she and Paul are getting married, I'm just going to have more family here in Dallas. With all the crap that's happening with the women at the club, it's just so great to have some good news right now."
 
Melissa, DeAynni, Cindy, and Connie meet at a bar to create a signature drink for Melissa's after-party. Dee gushes about how much she loves planning events. I cannot help but to wonder why.. they all end horribly! While tasting drinks, Cindy plans to grill the ladies about the rumors Leslie  has supposedly spread about her. When asked, Connie answers, "Yeah, uh, I do… know that story. Leslie told me at dinner. I felt bad for you."
 
DeAynni adds, "I've had a problem with Leslie since she ditched us in New Orleans, then she filed a police report against Bonnie's husband, Jason, and now she's spreading rumors about Cindy. Leslie's nothing but trouble." Cindy tells the ladies Leslie said Connie is the liar. Connie says, "How many lies do you know that have come out of my mouth?" NONE. Connie continues, "How many lies do you know have come out of LesLIES mouth?" No answer necessary. We all know.
 

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On her couch, Connie shares, "I'm pissed. After everything I've been through with Leslie, introducing her to my friends, getting her into the country club, standing by her side while she embellished all these stories… and she wants to throw me under the bus? I don't think so." On her couch, Cindy laments, "I know Leslie has issues with the other girls. I've have issues with them too. I don't know who to believe."
 
Leslie, Paul, and Kalyn meet, to talk about the big picture. When Leslie asks Kalyn where they plan to live, Kalyn shares that she and Paul have discussed the pros and cons of three locations. Leslie assumes in Dallas, but Kalyn lists Dallas, California, and New Jersey/New York as possibilities. Leslie cries, "New Jersey? Seriously? You would move from Dallas? But I need you, my fake daughter, to be on this sham of a show! You have a whole life here. Tyler is here. I'm here. You were baptized here. Your whole new life is here." Kalyn is like, Sorry, but Paul is going to be my husband, and I go where he goes.
 
Kalyn adds, "I really appreciate everything you've done for me – taking me in, being the mom that I never had – but there are other reasons why I wouldn't want to be here." Leslie is like, It certainly cannot be the bee-otches? Paul is like, Umm yeah, I think that's it. On her couch, Kalyn cries, "Honestly, my time here in Dallas has been really hard on me. I don't fit in here and Whitney's been tormenting me since I arrived. Paul is the best thing that has happened to me in a real long time. He's helped me turn my life around." Leslie pouts like a child.
 
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It's time for the fashion show. The women kick off the festivities with a few cocktails. Naturally. 
 
Leslie shows up, to stand up for her innocence, and Connie says, "Leslie has a lot of nerve showing up here. We all know she's not here for the fashion show. She's probably here to try to drag my name through the mud even more. But I'm not letting that happen." When Cindy walks into the room, Leslie calls out, "Cindy, I saved you a seat!" Cindy deadpans…. no… and then sits with the other ladies. Leslie is not happy. 
 
Following the show, Bonnie asks to "visit" Whitney's ring again, saying, "I'm sorry that Jason is being such a punk about this. It's just because he's very protective over you.  But I'm still going to plan everything." Whitney interrupts, "You're not planning anything. We're paying for it." Bonnie and Whitney go back and forth… nothing is accomplished. (Note to whomever wins this battle: Email me for my address. ;) )
 
 
Bonnie, Connie, DeAynni, Connie, and Melissa celebrate the successful fashion show…. while Leslie sits on the other side of the room, alone. Leslie says, "I feel totally betrayed by these people that I used to consider my friends. Every one of these ladies is giving me the cold shoulder… but I came here to clear my name and that's exactly what me and Big Daddy are I'm going to do."
 
Finally, Cindy approaches Leslie, who boasts she took a polygraph to prove her innocence. Leslie adds, "And it wasn't easy… and it wasn't fun." (like she got a root canal or colonoscopy) On her couch, Leslie explains to the stupid folk at home, "A polygraph is the same thing as a lie detector test."
 
Leslie adds, "I took the liberty to have it done at my own expense to prove to Cindy that I had nothing to do with the vicious lies. I've never done it before for anybody!"  (And I don't doubt others have asked!) Cindy cries, "You have to understand, I don't know who is lying. I don't!" Connie and Bonnie approach, with Connie yelling, "You think that's the only f-ing lie she's said?" Leslie says, "Oh please." 
 
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Connie, pointing her finger at Leslie, calls her a disgrace to the family… all that hurtful finger pointing must be giving Leslie bruises, so it's a good thing she brought Big Daddy with her. However, Big Daddy isn't able to stop this from happening:
 
Connie, "You're a f-ing lying bitch!" Leslie, "You are unbelievable."
 
Connie, "You're unbelievable." Leslie, "I never lie."
 
Connie, "You always lie. Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie."
 
Leslie, "This whole rehab thing… you really think that I said that?"
 
Connie, "I was standing there with your stupid ass on the curb when you said it!"
 
Leslie, "That is an absolute lie." Connie, "Nobdoy believes your stupid ass."
 
Leslie throws the lie detector results in Connie's face and screams, "READ THIS!" Hair grabbing, pushing, and punching ensues. Good times! Police reports for everyone! Connie grabs the polygraph results, screaming, "What the hell is that? BURN IT! I'll USE IT FOR TOILET PAPER!"
 
While Cindy breaks down, DeAynni reapplies her lipstick – priorities – and tells her not to cry. Cindy says, "This is one of the worst experiences of my life! I'm caught in the middle of all of this drama. I'm confused. I don't know who my real friends are. I don't know who I can trust."
 
Bonnie evicts Leslie from the state of Texas. Does she have that power? Cause I can think of a few people I'd like to evict from my state. Bonnie – call me!
 
THAT'S IT FOR SEASON 3 – WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE SEASON?
 
Photo credit: Style Network

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