It's that time of year again. You know what I mean… The time of year when the annual Dancing With The Stars casting speculation resumes in earnest.
We thought we'd help ABC out a bit by dropping some hints about which reality stars we absolutely need (ok want, but semantics, right?) to see strap on a shiny sequined leotard, drop the magical ten pounds, and prance their way into public humiliation while Derek Hough gyrates them into a sequined disco ball statue.
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This one is a no-brainer. We want Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga to channel their Real Housewives of New Jersey competition (and fighting) into something positive. Like competing over who has the best two-step! They wouldn't even really need to borrow any costumes…
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He's tattooed, he's dirty, he's certain to make Len Goodman have a heart attack. So naturally the Big Rich Texas star is an excellent contender. Can you imagine Booger in shiny, polyester pants? As a bonus he can give his partner a piercing.
She may not be able to "technically" bust a move, but we've seen her do the psychic shuffle on Real Housewives of Miami. And Mama Elsa can just make lightening crash and thunder roll with predictions of who won't win a mirror ball. Another positive: Mama Elsa already has plenty of sequined, leopard print caftans to sport as stage wear.
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Jace Robertson may reign supreme as the first beaded one to ever tango on the disco stage, but hey the Duck Dynasty star has charisma, fur, and funk for days. Add an Elvis-style sequined jumpsuit and a sparkly bandana and he's good to go! I think a duck call would also be an excellent addition to any ballroom dance competition.
She actually CAN dance which is a plus. I'd just like to see what Hollywood Exes star Andrea Kelly could do with ballroom. I've seen her pirouette in platforms. What about nude illusion heels and a fishtail hem?
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Alright Persian Pop Priestess how about becoming the Persian Polka Priestess? I'd like Asa Soultan Rahmati from Shahs of Sunset to put her money where her gold coins are and show off her moves. And I'd also like to see what she rocks in the costume department… Oh lawdy!
She's been training Honey Boo Boo to shake it and work it, but let's turn the tables shall we? How about Mama June shakes it for Smoochie! We've seen her in the pageant audience – we know she can move. I actually think June would be awesome! And I've seen her pageantized. Just, shhhh… It's a wig!
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NeNe Leakes has moves that belong in the after hours gentleman's club but I'd like to see her bust them out in the 8pm time slot! The Real Housewives of Atlanta star's dynamic personality is sure to transition perfectly onto the stage at DWTS – and you know she would get in someone's face for amusement factor. As a bonus NeNe could do the lifting since with heels she's way taller than all the guys!
I'd love to see ANY of the Dance Moms get a taste of their own medicine and be forced into enslaved booty shaking at the hands of a demonic dictator dance nazi! Chloe's feisty mom Christi Lukasiak gets my pick to represent the moms on the other side of the aisle!
She rules Real Housewives of Beverly Hills with a Pomeranian and a glass of rosé. She loves sparkly, pink, and shiny and I bet Giggy could be incorporated into many of the dances. Lisa Vanderpump would be totally aces on DWTS – and she would pointedly object to all the judges critiques. Maybe she could borrow a Maloof Hoof for the occasion.
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Slave Smiley needs a job. And Gretchen Rossi could teach him some moves before the show starts (HA!). In addition the Real Housewives of Orange County Stage 5 Clinger could lose some of the "tubba wubba-ness" out of the deal. Or at the very least he could possibly find a richer sugar mama… Carrie Ann?
I could totally see Renee Graziano channeling her overwrought emotions into a moving dance performance. The Mob Wives star has been dying to show off her newly revamped body after thousands of dollars in plastic surgery, so DWTS is the perfect opportunity. Not only that Renee is amusing as hell and would give these prissy judges a run for their money!
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TELL US – WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS?