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I can hear my mom's words of wisdom echoing in my ears…"If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you!"  Granted, I've never cheated with–or on–anyone (but, well, there was high school.  Does that count?), but it's advice that totally translates into the grown-up world.  However, can we technically call LeAnn Rimes an adult?  She's constantly tearlessly crying in interviews about never having the opportunity to be a child, so perhaps she's regressed.  Regardless, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville is likely smug upon hearing this latest gossip.

A quick breakdown (as if y'all need it): Brandi's husband Eddie Cibrian cheated on her with SUR waitress Scheana Marie Jancan (that is no one's given name!).  When Eddie then cheated with LeAnn, Scheana went to the press to complain about how heartbroken she was when her affair ended because Eddie found another mistress.  High five, Brandi!  You came out on top of this cluster for sure! 

I don't know about you, but I find it very fishy that this news is coming to light way after it acutally happened.  Funny how Bravo is trying to promote Lisa Vanderpump's (love her!) new show Vanderpump Rules on which Scheana plays a bullied, overly sexed, wannabe pop star waitress…It's what publicity stunts are made of, right?

Gracious though, when you read Sheana's interview, which occurred after her sit-down with Brandi, you'll shake your head and wonder if she has a publicist.  Sheana is still taking shots at Brandi while playing the victim.  Um, I'm sorry.  I don't care how horrid the woman was whose husband you were bedding, you're still the other woman.  She can call you names, and she can be mean to you.  You slept with her husband!  I'm speaking to Scheana in first person because she strikes me as the type of fame hungry girl that will read every blog written about her.  Scheana, I'm not hating, I'm just trying to give you some sincere feedback.  Oh, and by the way, NEVER record that breathy porn song you sang on Vanderpump Rules.  The world, and iTunes, sends their thanks.

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After her scripted Bravo sit-down with Brandi, Scheana is reaching out to several high brow media outlets (cough, cough, gag).  According to Radar Online, Eddie and Scheana's relationship didn't end when he started boning LeAnn.  Apparently, when his affair with LeAnn went public (and Brandi, understandably, hit the high road), Eddie kept boinking the waitress.  It kind of makes Scheana's whole "I didn't know he was married" excuse fall by the wayside.  Liar, liar, pants on fire!  Not shockingly, she has quite the excuse…read on!

Scheana begins, “As months go by, Eddie gets separated. He then contacts me to go out for drinks. I believed he was separated, so I was happy to go out with him again. But shortly into trying to hang out with him I find out about LeAnn, and I felt like such an idiot!”  Funny, she didn't mention that meeting to Brandi, did she?  Did I miss something when I went to replenish my wine?

Recalling her first meeting with Eddie, Scheana explains, “Originally, I met him 7 years ago. When a really good-looking guy with big dimples wants to take you out for drinks your first question isn’t ‘are you married because you don’t have a ring on your finger?’”  I'll give her that.  That shouldn't be her first question if she'd met Eddie at a barbeque place in South Carolina, but an aspiring actress meeting a guy in LA who is totally recognizable?  I don't buy it.  I don't want to admit that I know who Eddie is, but I do.  I feel the same about Antonio Sabato, Jr.  SHE KNEW WHO HE WAS!  No way she didn't, as far as I'm concerned.  I have a friend of a friend who once hooked up with Carrot Top and then claimed she didn't know he was famous.  False.  If she hadn't known he was D-List famous she would have never hooked up with a random guy that looked like Carrot Top.  Am I right or am I right?

Scheana continues, “We hung out, it was quite casual and about six months in my mom saw an article and was like, ‘that Eddie guy you are dating, is his last name Cibrian and is he on Third Watch?’ I was like, ‘Yeah, what do you hear?’ And she told me that he and his wife are expecting their second child!”  Again, not believable.  Your mom asks if you've seen a show and your first question is, "what did you hear?"  No way.  Not buying what you're selling, honey.  However, I totes believe you'd never seen Third Watch.  Who did?

Upon confronting Eddie, Scheana admits, “He was like, ‘I’m so sorry I lied to you.’ He then switched the conversation and said, ‘by the way, are you still doing the acting thing? I have a project I’m funding, and there’s a role for you that would be great.’”  She reveals that she hasn't spoken to him since.  Again, BS. 

Scheana then turns to the ultimate meeting between her and Brandi.  She didn't take kindly to Brandi calling her a star f*cker girl who enjoys the company of celebs.  Scheana retaliates, "I’m sure she’s had sex with as many celebrities as I have, which actually isn’t that many. For her to say that about me is pot calling the kettle black.'"  WHICH ACTUALLY ISN'T THAT MANY??  Good Lord.  Call out the woman whose husband you banged, and then please, insinuate that she's a slut.  I'm not saying that she's not, but I think when Scheana's mom was touting Third Watch, she should have reminded her daughter that if she couldn't say something nice, she shouldn't say anything at all. 

Coming full circle, Sheana explains that she hopes to one day be biffles with Brandi (because, let's be honest, sleeping with Brandi's husband didn't catapult her into the fame she craved), “I’ve seen Brandi a few times since we had our talk. We are very cordial with each other, and it’s nice not to have to run out the room when we see each other.  I’d like to be friends with her one day. We run in the same circles, so I don’t think it would be a crazy thing if it happened, but it’s still too soon.”  I totally have the utmost faith in Brandi that their friendship will never happen.

Scheana continues, adding, “Brandi was angry with me because I didn’t think about her feelings when I was interviewed by Access Hollywood about the affair.  Honestly, I didn’t. And that was a big mistake I made. All I thought was that I wanted to get back at Eddie because he broke my heart too.  If I could go back I would take back every interview I ever did about him. It was a very selfish thing I did.”  Quick question, did you think about Brandi's feelings when doing this chat?

Hmmmm…would you take back this interview too?  In the words of the always wise Justin Timberlake, "Cry me a river.  Cry me riivvvah!"

TELL US-AM I BEING TOO HARD ON SCHEANA?  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER INTERVIEW?

[Photo Credit: Fayes Vision/WENN; Bravo]

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