Virginia Kolb, Harvin Eadon, and Meyer Eadon introduce us to Big Rich Atlanta. Harvin is the older sister, Meyer is the younger sister, and Virginia, aka
Grey Goose, is their vodka-loving mama. Virginia recently moved to Buckhead to help Harvin and Meyer launch a jewelry line. While the sisters get pretty (and tipsy) for a luncheon at the country club, they tell Virginia everything she needs to know about the ladies she's about to meet.
Sharlinda Parker and Kahdijiha Rowe are "tough nuts to crack" and "they're soft around their edges but hard around their interior." Believe it or not – that second description was a team effort. Marcia Marchman and Meagan McBrayer both bring blonde to a whole 'nother level. Harvin and Meyer agree that Marcia and Meagan are a litlte loopy and a lot hilarious.
Katie Davidson and Diana Davidson are nice, Southern ladies and dreadfully normal. No! Not normal! Sabrina McKenzie is a dancing preacher and extremely protective of her daughter, Anandi McKenzie, who is "super hot." Ashlee Wilson-Hawn fancies herself the "boss bitch, queen bee, pageant queen" of Atlanta. Harvin is closer to Ashlee than Meyer is.
All of a sudden, getting pretty and tipsy time turns into a mad rush to get to the club. Meyer still needs an eyelash, Harvin cannot find matching shoes, and Mama Goose probably regrets her decision to bring herself (and her money) to Atlanta.
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At the club, Katie seriously introduces herself as a fourth generation Atlantan. She offers to show Virginia around.. since she's a native… fourth generation and all. Ashlee joins the party in a sparkly green gown with a bottle of Cristal champagne in one hand and her dog in the other hand. Right away, she's all like, Help! Where's the help? We need help. Help, where are you? Where do we get some help?
Kahdijiha quips, "Ashlee has the air of an elephant. She needs to take a seat." Ashlee makes a point to announce she brought the Cristal for the blondies. Anyone else is so not worthy. She asks the bartender to "pop it real sexy like the queen arrived." Harvin thinks Ashlee is oodles of fun. Meyer adds, "If she could just cut out those first two hours she spends talking about herself every time you see her, I probably would like her too." Harvin says Ashlee's narcissism is part of her charm.
While the blondies are at the bar, Kahdijiha and Meagan chat about Ashlee. Kahdijiha thinks she's rude and obnoxious, and Meagan has unresolved feelings about once sharing her boyfriend Zach with her. Heading back to the table, Ashlee demands attention from the wait staff, saying, "We need some maj service. Maj." Ashlee kindly offers non-blondie Kahdijiha some Cristal. When Kahdijiha doesn't want any of her posh champagne, Ashlee says, "Anybody who turns their nose up to Cristal is not a friend of mine, honey. What planet is she on?"
Kahdijiha goes back to mom Sharlinda, aunt Brie, and preacher Sabrina saying, "Got sick of being fake. Just because you have money doesn't mean you have class. You can't buy class. It's not in a bottle of Cristal. It's not in that little dumb dog." Ashlee senses Kahdijiha is talking about her so she heads over to "give them a little class about class." Ashlee's "class" consists of backhanded compliments and forced party invitations.
The next morning, Virginia forces Harvin and Meyer out of bed to start their "work" day. The sisters are not happy. Meyer says she's okay with morning business meetings as long as they start around noon. Virginia plows ahead, asking tough questions about marketing, photography, and profit expectations, and Meyer and Harvin have no answers. They're stunning without makeup though!
Harvin takes this opportunity to say she feels unappreciated despite carrying the weight of the business. When Meyer blows off her complaint, Harvin turns to Virginia to whine. Virginia threatens to take her money back to South Carolina if the sisters don't stop it with the petty arguments, adding, "This is a business venture. We have to act like business women. And I'm the boss." Just not the bitch boss, as that role is already taken by the girl in sparkly green.
Sharlinda encourages Kahdijiha to accept the invitation to Ashlee's party. She insists she can't vibe with people like Ashlee. Sharlinda explains, "A person like Ashlee don't know no better. I kind of feel sorry for her. You can just see unhappiness in her eyes. Hurt people hurt people." Kahdijiha doesn't want to hear it, stating, "Ashlee can pack her hurt in her little doggy bag and go somewhere else with it." Undeterred, Sharlinda tells Kahdijiha to go to the divorce party.
Meyer and Meagan meet for lunch… to talk about Ashlee… is there nothing else happening in all of Atlanta? Meyer asks Meagan how Ashlee ended up with Zach. Meagan pretty much says that Ashlee told her to roll over and play dead, she did, and then she lost her man. According to Meyer, Ashlee told her Meagan is a slut and slept with her man. Meyer encourages Meagan to stop playing dead and stand up for herself.
It's girls night out! Ashlee, Harvin, and Meyer hang at a strip club. Meyer confronts Ashlee about how she treats Kahdijiha and Meagan. Ashlee tells her to check herself because she's wrecking the hell out of herself. Meyer walks away. Ashlee rolls out of the club. Harvin tells her sister to relax, saying, "Ashlee is spunk, spirit, highlight marker, fun, hilarious." Meyer isn't getting the highlight marker vibe.. she's getting Satan vibes.
Taking Meyer's advice, Meagan confronts Ashlee. Ashlee hilariously says, "They definitely heard it form me but not with the word slut." Ashlee proceeds to laugh in her face, blame the alcohol, and vow to take Meagan under her wing. Meagan is like, um, not necessary.
Still, Ashlee continues, "I'm going to teach you how to be a boss bitch. I feel like people are pushing you around way too much in our club. I'm going to make you president of the club. I'm going to help you step it up to fabulosity." Hook. Line. Sinker. Meagan toasts to Ashlee's plan. To the camera, Ashlee says she feels sorry for Meggy and hopes to teach her how to put her panties on, and then Ashlee even tricks Meagan into insulting Meyer and her sister. This girl really is the boss bitch.
Fast forward to Ashlee's divorce party, Kahdijiha plans to talk to Ashlee about their differences, Meagan is nervous about seeing Zach again, and Meyer is anxious to give Ashlee her special gift.
Kahdijiha pulls Ashlee aside to have a grown-up conversation… and Ashlee is all like, Do you like me today? This is my party. Did you bring me a gift? Gimme your earrings. When Meagan gets too close to Zach, Ashlee whistles. He comes running like a good little boy and gets a treat. Ashlee fails to find any humor in Meyer's gift, which is a grenade, and throws it down. Ashlee pouts, "Meyer is trying to make a joke out of my party. (Isn't a divorce party already kind of a joke?) A queen does not allow trash to ruin her day." Ashlee screams "REDNECK WHITE TRASH! GET OUT!" in Meyer's face.
Meyer laughs the whole way home, adding, "When things get a little boring, you need to blow shit up. At least I got her something."
Next week on Big Rich Atlanta, Anandi and Diana ask Ashlee to be their pageant coach. Kahdijiha and Miranda butt heads while house hunting. Ashlee and Harvin's friendship continues to agitate Meyer.
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Photo credit: Bravo