If I never hear Chris Harrison say special two day Bachelor event again… it will be too soon… seriously. Oh, by the way, have you heard about the special two day Bachelor event? It's an exciting and momentous event that serves as a kick off to the bachelorettes "worldwide journey to find love" with Sean Lowe.
This rip-roaring journey begins in Montana… where it's too cold for Sean to be half naked… how am I supposed to take this special two day Bachelor event seriously when Sean is wearing a shirt? I don't think I can. You've been warned.
So, Sean and his bachelorettes are off to Montana, where everyone wears flannel plaid and there will be a one-on-one date, a group date, and a two-on-one date. Sean says, "I'm an outdoorsy type of guy, and I love to get out and camp or canoe, so Montana is definitely going to test some of the women."
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Sean chooses Lindsay for the one-on-one date. Sean walks Lindsay outside, towards a helicopter, and she asks, "Is that a helicopter?" Well, Lindsay, if it looks like a helicopter, sounds like a helicopter, and flies like a helicopter, it's probably a helicopter. Sean points out, "This is the most badass helicopter ever."
Remember when Lindsay slurred and stumbled her way through the first cocktail party while wearing a bridal gown? Sean admits he almost sent her home because of her poor judgment, adding, "Now, looking back, I see now how wonderful she is. I'm glad I didn't send her home. Today I want to see if she could potentially be my wife." Well, she already has the dress.
Sean and Lindsay enjoy a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park, kissing, a picnic at Blackfeet Indian Reservation, kissing, a perfectly natural dance on a raised platform in front of the entire town, and kissing. Sean gives Lindsay a rose, saying, "We've come a long way since the first night, when I thought you were just a crazy girl in a wedding dress."
This means Tierra and Jackie will later be subjected to the dreadful two-on-one date. Tierra says she isn't skerred of the two-on-one, adding, "I'm, like, so excited because I've been on all these group dates." A dumbfounded AshLee says, "She was happy as a little bumblebee filled with honey. I mean, hello, this your fate and your relationship with Sean. I would be a little bit more… sober."
Is AshLee for real? Sober is not the way to be on reality TV. Case in point: the group date bachelorettes must endure the Bachelor's Montana Wilderness Relay Race, which includes a canoe race, hay bucking, sawing through a 12-inch log, milking a goat, and drinking the goat milk. Seriously. Pass the wine.
Chris says: blue team is AshLee, Lesley, Daniella, and Catherine, red team is Selma, Desiree, Sarah, and Robyn, the winning team gets more time with Sean, the losing team gets more time with Tierra, and go! While the blue team rocks the canoes, the red team moves the hay bales better. All of the ladies handle the twelve inch wood like it's their job, much to Sean's delight, so the competition comes down to milking the goats. In the end, Desiree's milking and swallowing skills can't be beat.
Sean wins. The red team wins.
The blue team – AshLee, Lesley, Daniella, Catherine – is sent back to the lodge. Then, Sean says, "Watching
my favorite bachelorettes the blue team drive away just left a sinking feeling in my stomach. It just seems like it's a little late in the journey to be sending girls home that I really prefer to need to spend time with, so I decided that I'm going to have to bend the rules a little bit." When Sean tells Selma, Desiree, Sarah, and Robyn that he has invited the losers back, they're livid.
Robyn's bitter meter is just about maxed out. Selma says, "This is a crock of shit. Not everything is roses in my world, I can tell you that right now. When Selma gets angry, Selma gets angry." And apparently refers to herself in the third person. Desiree, who now feels like she exerted herself and drank the goat milk for nothing, is further annoyed when AshLee interrupts her alone time with Sean. AshLee shares, "Obviously there's one person in the four of us that Sean wants to spend time with, and I can't help but to think that it is me."
Daniella sobs when she sees Catherine sitting all cozy on Sean's lap. Sean tells a blubbering Daniella that he hasn't forgotten about her and she sucks his face. At the end of the date, Sean rubs more salt into the red team's wound by giving loser Daniella the date's rose. You know that awkward moment when you realize the Bachelor just really likes the other team better? Ouch.
The remaining 60 minutes of day one of the special two day Bachelor event is all about Tierra. I suspect much of day two of the special two day Bachelor event will also be about Tierra. I mean, that's just a hunch, it's not like Chris Harrison has showed us a preview of Tierra suffering yet another emergency on day two of the special two day Bachelor event at every commercial break.
Leading into the two-on-one date, Tierra repeatedly refers to Sean as her husband, amusing only herself. In a nutshell, Tierra's story about her ex-boyfriend dying trumps Jackie's story about Tierra flirting with a cute boy not named Sean Lowe on the way to Montana, and Tierra gets the date's rose. While Jackie cries into her hands in the limo of shame, Tierra brags about getting the rose and burst out laughing.
The cocktail party is a complete disaster. Desiree finally realizes that Sean uses his roses to rescue damsels in distress. Tierra wants to punch everyone. Robyn threatens to turn the Bachelor into the Bad Girls Club. Sean witnesses one of Tierra's rants. To Chris, Sean says, "The dynamic in the house is changing. Tierra is an emotional rollercoaster. Apparently she has isolated herself . I like Tierra. I just wish we could move past the drama and focus on our relationships. I would like to be taking bigger steps forward, but I just don't feel myself taking these steps with these women."
Going into the rose ceremony, Tierra, Daniella, and Lindsay already have roses. Sean offers roses to Selma, Catherine, Lesley, AshLee, Sarah, and Desiree despite his feelings of unease. Tierra is elated to see Robyn go home. Robyn is bitter, of course, and says, "What is he thinking? He sent me home over Tierra. He probably thinks I'm the one starting drama in the house. I'm bitter about it. He was someone who I really cared for and it hurts."
TELL US – WILL TIERRA SURVIVE TONIGHT'S ROSE CEREMONY? WERE YOU SAD TO SEE JACKIE AND ROBYN GO? DO YOU LIKE SEAN? HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE SPECIAL TWO DAY BACHELOR EVENT?
Photo credit: ABC