Just because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that their baby won't be making its debut courtesy of E!, don't expect that to mean they want little Kimye, Jr. to have some semblance of a normal life. I'm embarrassed to say that I fell under that fallacy (just a tad, tiny, wee bit…).
Don't get me wrong. When a couple spends countless hours and photo ops trying to recreate their own version of a famous statute of Jesus (please click here and take note of how unimpressed the bystanders seem!), I am not expecting their kid to attend public school and play rec soccer at the local YMCA. However, in light of today's Kimye gossip, the child won't have time to play soccer/t-ball/ultimate frisbee because he or she will be spending the majority of time jetting back and forth across the globe to multiple houses. Oh, excuse me. Mansions.
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I can picture Kim wearing some God awful outfit and sipping on a cucumber vodka somewhere in Cannes. Laughing with Gwenyth Paltrow (sorry, Gwennie!) about Moses and Apple's recent sibling antics, Kim will throw her head back and share, "Why, this is exactly the reason we bought four houses…we wanted Kimye, Jr.'s classroom to be–wait for it–the world." Of course, in this same scenario, Angelina Jolie hears this nonsense (after all, the world is far too busy teaching her brood to be bothered with Kimye offspring) and busts in on the GOOPy playdate Laura Croft style to put Kim in her place. I'm sorry for such a specific illustration, but it's been that kind of day!
Page Six has the scoop on Kimye's need to super size everything
from Kim's ass to their real estate portfolio. Having already spent a meager $11 million to build a 14,000 square foot mansion in Bel Air, the couple wants to expand its growing family's horizons.
The pair, it seems, wants to make sure that wherever the family has a spin-off reality show, they will own a giant home. That explains why they are looking for property in both New York and Miami.
That doesn't, however, explain why the pair is scouting living quarters in Paris as well, unless…oh goodness…unless Kris Jenner is planning a series for Bruce called Bruce Jenner: Ex Pat in Paris (trademark pending, E!). It would totes solve all of her problems while making some extra cash. If I'm right, I sincerely feel badly for the City of Lights. But, better them than us, right?
Word on the celebrity street also has Kimye checking out some property in Brazil where they have been vacationing for the past several days. In fact, they had such a good time on their mini-holiday that Kim and Kanye skipped Sunday's Grammy Awards in L.A. Kanye did rack up three of the coveted music awards though, and thankfully he wasn't able to interrupt any acceptance speeches.
Yesterday, Kim tweeted her glee about her beau's recognition, writing, "Awww just waking up in Brazil, seeing Kanye won 3 Grammy's last night!!! That makes a total of 21!!!! That's just so insane! Soooo proud!!!" Why yes, a total of 21 is insane. He's almost catching up on the number of horrific outfits that Kim has sported since announcing her pregnancy!
TELL US-ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT KIMYE WANTS TO BUY SO MANY NEW HOMES? IF YOU COULD CHOOSE, WHERE WOULD YOU HAVE THEM LIVE?
[Photo Credit: LIFE/WENN.com]