Welcome to Ashlee Wilson-Hawn's fantasy world… where 911 handles hair extension emergencies and verbal bullying is passed off as harmless teasing…


Immediately following the cupcake drama on Big Rich Atlanta, Ashlee appears to be completely composed, as she straightens her hair in a mirror and demands Kahdijiha Rowe be thrown in jail. However, as soon as the ambulance arrives, Ashlee looks like hell. A distraught Ashlee tells a police officer she's pressing charges and demands a full police investigation. 
Please excuse me while I wipe away my tears feel no sympathy for this pathetic, hateful person. Already this season, Ashlee completely wrote off Kahdijiha because she's not a "blondie," tried to come between sisters Harvin Eadon and Meyer Eadon, berated and manipulated friend Meagan McBryer, and verbally abused teenagers Diana Davidson and Anandi McKenzie.
In response to Kahdijiha's actions, Ashlee says, "Express yourself with your words, not your hands." Does she honestly not realize that words can be just as hurtful as hands? Ashlee is a bully – she uses her words to humiliate and hurt her victims to make herself feel superior and powerful – end of story. 

Once she is all patched up, a happy as a clam Ashlee goes back to her party and announces, "Miss Piggy was messing up my cake and I had to tell her a 'no, no.' She got mad, she had to attack me, and now she's in jail." Only in Ashlee's fantasy world was Kahdijiha in jail at that point. I'd love to know what Ashlee wished for when she happily blew out her birthday candles. Hair glue? Youthful appearance? Real friends? 

Harvin and Meyer try to sort out the cupcake drama the next morning. While Harvin thinks both Kahdijiha and Ashlee played a part in what went down, Meyer believes Kahdijiha was left with no choice but to defend herself because Ashlee backed her into a corner. Meyer also points out that she, too, had her fingers in the cupcakes but Ashlee singled out the "fat black" girl. When I ask my Magic 8 Ball if Ashlee is a racist, it reads, "Signs point to yes." Don't hate me… hate the eight ball… 
Harvin quips, "All I gotta say is that it was a golden party all right – there were golden locks flying everywhere." Then, Meyer pulls a lock of Ashlee's hair our of a box, saying, "I at least wanted to give Kahdijiha something to show that she got some of Ashlee." That's funny. I love Meyer so much. Thankfully, Virginia Kolb finally sees Ashlee's true colors."I was truly shocked," says Mama Goose. "I prefer you not lie down with dogs, or you're going to get up with fleas. If those are her friends, I was not impressed." 
Over at the country club, Sabrina McKenzie runs into Marcia Marchman, Virginia, and Katie Davidson while she's prepping for her upcoming seminar. To say the least, Sabrina comes on a little strong, preaching about cheating husbands and independent women. Katie thinks Sabrina is a man hater. Anandi isn't happy to learn that mom Sabrina is mixing business with pleasure at the country club, saying, "It happens everywhere. I thought the country club could be the one place where this doesn't have to happen all the time." Sabrina is heart broken when Anandi says she spends more time with strangers than her own family.
Meanwhile, Ashlee "needs" time with her sister Lauren because the cupcake drama has left her "faithless" in people. Bring on the waterworks. Ashlee cries, "It's terrible. I was joking and teasing her, and she starts calling me every name. (sniff, sniff) I was joking, calling her a jelly belly. It's just a joke-y work. It's a PG-13 word. (sniff, sniff) And the next thing I know, she just grabbed my head and threw it down." Ashlee says what "the nasty demon" did was "animalistic." If nothing else, Ashlee's fantasy world is awfully entertaining.
Ashlee and Lauren agree that Kahdijiha belongs in jail. Shocker. Ashlee is like, I guess Kahdijiha was just trying to make me as ugly as her. God knows how ugly she is, and the sisters share a nice little laugh. Nastiness must run in the family. Ashlee goes on to spew some nonsense about how the Bible talks about the most reliable hair glue beauty of the hair extensions … it's where your strength and your power is … and Ashlee is not going to let Kahdijiha take more of her hair her power … I'm going to vomit.
News Flash: Meyer has your power locked in a box, Ashlee. Because she's awesome like that. You are just sad and (now) powerless.
Moving on to Sabrina's seminar, she explains, "This is about empowering women. This is about you being wealthy and it not being based on a man. Some of you are not interested, because your husband makes the money, but when he leaves you, it will make a lot of sense." Sabrina turns her attention to Katie, asking her what she does with her life, where her money comes from, and if she and her husband have a pre-nup. Katie tells Sabrina that her questions are too personal, adding, "You assume all men are going to leave their wives. Do you not believe that there are men of character and men of God that truly do love their wives?" Sabrina responds, "This isn't against men. This is about helping empower women." 
When Katie calls Sabrina interesting after her speech, Sabrina replies, "You constantly describe me as interesting and different, and as a black woman, it makes me feel like it's not a good thing." Katie is like, I just think you're a very interesting person. Nothing more and nothing less. I believe Katie… someone needs to remove the stick from Sabrina's as… oh nevermind. 
Sabrina later tells Anandi that she feels sorry for Katie, adding, "Katie is pretentious. She uses her words to smack you and then she cracks this corny smile." Virginia walks away from the seminar with a bad impression of Sabrina, saying, "When Sabrina targeted Katie, it made me angry because this was just supposed to be an informational seminar and she seemed to be on a witch hunt for housewives."
Virginia, Marcia, and Katie meet for dinner to further discuss Sabrina's crazy ideas. Virginia and Marcia walk away from dinner thinking Katie is dreadfully boring and decide a mom cougar's night out is in order. Katie looks horrified when Marcia wants to know when she last danced on a table. This is going to be fun! 
Thanks to Virginia and Marcia's influence, Katie wears a "hoochie" dress for cougar's night out. While the dress just makes Diana giggle, Katie's son, Douglass, tells her she looks like a nasty hooker. Nevertheless, the cougars are off to the bar, where they drink, dance, and schmooze with hot younger men. Virginia says, "Am I single, available, and on the prowl? You betcha!" Poor Marcia should never dance in public again. Katie says her night out was crazy  fun. Virginia leaves the bar with 30-year-old Hot Mike. Get it, girl!
Ashlee comes out of hiding to have lunch with Harvin. When Harvin makes light of her missing in action status, a pouty face Ashlee is like, This is a real trauma for me. I was attacked by a wild beast. Later, Harvin is shocked to learn that Ashlee has pressed charges against Kahdijiha. I can only hope this blows up in Ashlee's face.
Meanwhile, Sharlinda and Kahdijiha find news of the fight – with Ashlee's victim spin on it of course – on a gossip blog. Sharlinda reads from the blog, "This has thrown her for a psychological loop," to which Kahdijiha says, "The chick was psychologically damaged prior to. She needs a straight jacket." They come to the conclusion that Ashlee is trying to "get her little fame" at Kahdijiha's expense. Agreed. 
Kahdijiha considers filing a defamation lawsuit against Ashlee
Photo credit: Style Network

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