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Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s back y’all, and with a brand new set of bangs to boot!! Rachel Zoe is finally back to Bravo for season 5 of the Rachel Zoe Project and I literally went Ba-Nanas!! I forgot how much I missed this crazy fashionista, her ever patient husband Rodger Berman, and of course, über adorable baby Skyler.

Rachel lets us know that her last prodigy, Jeremiah, is no longer with the company standard RZ introduction to the season: another employee has flown the coop.  I have got to say it’s feeling a little more than déjà vu.. Brad Goreski, Taylor Jacobson anyone? Whilst I love me some RZ, her prodigies bailing makes me a tad le sad to think about. But then I see Mandana and Rodger, and if they are still around then it can’t be all bad…

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We start off in New York for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week and apparently Rachel is only now realizing that she is having an actual fashion show and, due to location, this is entirely different from her last year’s presentation. I guess location is everything! Rachel tells Rodger to be nice and patient and to be her husband for the next week.  Rodger obliges under the proviso that his wife won’t be dumb? Strike one for Rodger , Rookie Move!!

Rachel and Rodger arrive at Rachel’s Design Studio where Mandana is complaining explaining how as the company grows she has had to take on more work and she is under so much pressure.  I guess Mandana is new to the concept business growth means more work, which is a little scary seeing as she is Rachel’s VP. #business101

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Rachel is over the moon that some of her prominent fashion friends have told her via email that they can’t wait for her show. Which has made her giddy, nervous and she wants everyone to be calm and play her music.  Mandana looks like she is about to have an aneurysm but I can’t tell if that is just her normal facial expression when she hears the sound of more work! Rachel announces she needs makeup, models and hair peeps stat! Rodger dutifully repeats everything his wife says to just reiterate how important he is. And I’m sorry but I think it is Rodger who needs the hairstylist.  I feel like Rodger is slowly morphing into RZ with that mop!

Rachel walks off and starts nurturing her line and analyzing the looks and leaves Mandana and Rodger bickering about what needs to be done. It seems like Rodger is virtually clueless as to what he is meant to be doing. Rachel tells him not to worry without even looking at him. Don’t you remember what RZ asked you earlier Rodger? You’re meant to be RZ’s husband this week which means be nice and leave her alone!

I have got to say that RZ’s line is really nice, I don’t know a lot about fashion but I think her line is really beautiful and stylish. I was expecting bag lady meets boho chic! Rodger then makes the mistake of calling one of the models or looks, I can’t tell, sexy. Rachel redirects Rodger to focus on the contracts and to not say anything unless he is asked a question. Strike two Rodger!

Finally the moment I have been waiting for!  Baby Skyler has arrived and he is super sweet and yes I am going to go there.. Skyler is bananas and I die for him! Rachel announces that she is nervous that they may not let baby Skyler into pre-school because all he wants to do all day is hug everybody and they think he is weird.  With that, Skyler has become somehow even more adorable if it were even possible. I feel like he should be dating Harper Beckham or Blue Ivy already. #NewCelebPowerCouple

Rodger, Rachel and Mandana arrive at Grand Central Station for the Marchesa fashion show, and RZ announces that it’s always a special moment when you wear a Marchesa.. Umm I guess I am yet to experience this special moment as I can’t say I’ve worn a Marchesa garment. I won’t lie; the Marchesa collection was extremely beautiful. Back at the Plaza Rodger has some uncomfortable news to give Rachel. The Page 6 headline reads ‘Label's doing not Zoe well’, and judging by Rachel’s reaction she is beyond miffed about it! Rachel and Rodger discuss how far from the truth the Page 6 article is and that the sad thing is whether it’s true or not people that read, often believe. Rachel wants to fight back and Rodger wants to maintain a dignified silence. Rachel thinks no comment means guilty and a part of me agrees with her..

And with that they are off to Prabal Gurung’s fashion show and I am pretty sure I just saw Brad Goreski make an appearance.. wtf? RZ stops to talk to Andy Cohen and I am in shock.  If it was Brad, why are he and Andy hanging out at a fashion show together? Rachel didn’t say anything about it in her interview so either it was a look alike or he is seriously dead to her.. I am all for taking the high road.  But I won’t lie, as soon as she did take the high road, I immediately wanted her to talk smack about him in her personal interview… le sad! I guess when you’re dead to RZ you are literally dead.. Brad’s funeral has come and gone!

In typical Rachel fashion she is making all the rounds and pow-wowing with the designers back stage. Fashion is a little bit of a foreign concept to me so air kisses, I love you’s and I die’s are basically what I got from most of her designer bff’s. I feel like I am watching a David Attenborough documentary about the fashionistas in their natural habitat.  Suddenly Prabal announces he is sweaty and, not one to be outdone, Rachel rebuttals with ‘I am the most disgusting person ever, let’s go dump our heads in ice buckets’.  And suddenly fashion became even more undeniably confusing to me than 30 seconds ago..

Mandana is sick she has an ulcer and RZ (who has recently become a mother) is now equipped to mother monitor all her minions. Rachel tells Mandana a list of all the foods that are allowed to be digested by those suffering from a double ulcer. Mandana believes that fashion shows and the flower wall that RZ wants for the show are making her ulcer worse, while Rodger thinks it’s all the spicy food she digests. Mandana is sad, she just wants flaming hot Cheetos and Mexican.  I feel both sad for Mandana and hungry for myself.

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Rachel and Mandana are stressed about the flower wall. Rachel wants 10,000 orchids strung from the walls. not even high maintenance. Mandana’s aneurysm face is back. In the midst of organising the looks for the runway and fighting about floating flower walls, Rachel’s hairstylist decides to give her bangs! Rachel’s staff is suddenly hovering around, her snapping pics on their iPhones like they know RZ is seriously delirious at this point in time and they want to snap up the first pics of the meltdown #ComingSoon..

I played a drinking game called every time Rachel speaks about or touches her bangs I have a sip, but then I ran out of wine. I quickly realized that this wasn’t the Watch What Happens Live Clubhouse and I can’t down Pinot like Ramona can! #Foolsgame. RZ is on her way to Oscar De La Renta’s show and with a brand new set of bangs! On their way to Oscar, Mandana tells Rachel to just go home and relax, drink a bottle of wine and play with her son. Rodger agrees. I am now scared for Baby Skyler who will probably come home to a drunk Mommy playing stylist as per Mandana advice. Strike three Rodger, for listening to Mandana!

Oscar calls Rachel hot and she tells him she just got bangs like he cares! Oscar gives Rachel some really sweet advice and tries to calm her nerves. His collection was absolutely amazing and Rachel looked like a kid in a candy store.

The day of the show is here and Rodger and Rachel are in the car and start having a conversation about how awesome Skyler is, which turns into a conversation about the origins of sliced bread, just your typical travel talk. Rachel is opposed to sliced bread and likes her baguettes pulled apart all rough and natural and in a non-manufactured way as she feels this bread look is far more chic than your typical slice. I just about lost it because she took styling to a whole new level, styling carbs. Never thought the carbs and Rachel would be in a sentence together! Miracles do happen.

The day of the show has arrived and Rachel is having a momentary panic attack. She freaks out she doesn’t even know what she looks like, which somehow accelerates to she doesn’t even know who she is!? Rodger tries to calm his wife by asking her to dress him and pick his tie. Rachel is less than impressed and demands he not even wear a tie. Rodger defies the fashion goddess, but due to her current identity crisis, Rachel doesn’t seem to care. She looks deep into the mirror and has an epiphany, and remembers she just got bangs and she is still the same fashion loving guru she was 24 hours ago. Balance and harmony restored to the universe.

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90 minuets before her show Rachel is air kissing and posing for cameras with Michael Kors and Mandana is running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Mandana is making sure everything is Rachel ready for her arrival. The flower wall arrives and apparently Mandana has had enough, she declares that if Rachel doesn’t like the flowers she will jump in front of a moving truck. Mandana waits with bated breath and Rachel loves the flower wall, Hallelujah! No need to jump in front of that bus, Mandana. I guess it will be slow death by ulcer instead. #SayNoToCheetos!

Chaos ensues behind the scenes with Rachel restyling models, changing outfits and adding accessories. It seems she zoe can’t help but be a perfectionist! The show begins and it was stunning and I felt for her first attempt, she held her own. At the end of the show designer friends come to congratulate her on a successful show and of course she decides to take this moment to talk about how she just got bangs.  And that is why I love Rachel Zoe

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SEASON 5 PREMIERE? 

Fancap Author: Gina P.

The video below is the always-hilarious Amy Phillips doing an impersonation of Rachel and her new bangs, on the streets of Austin.  She recorded the clip for last night's episode of Watch What Happens Live.

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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