Mob Wives Recap: Krav Ma Ta-Tas!

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I'm starting to wonder if a storm is brewing with the ladies of Mob Wives.  So far, everyone has been very civil.  Renee Graziano and Drita D'avanzo decided to take out their stress through good ol' fashioned physical exercise, while Big Ang gets enough of a work out holding up her giant jugs.   Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano were actually cordial to Dave's new girlfriend.  Of course, Love Majewski still wants to beat Carla Facciolo's behind, but the pair has yet to meet.  Where was Carla last night, anyway?

Last night begins as Ramona and Karen are heading to Karen's brother's storage facility to see if there is any evidence which would allow Karen's father's case to be reopened.  There are boxes of trial transcripts and taped conversations.  This is not going to be an easy task. 

Renee shares with son A.J. that she's going to get an attack dog.  He wants to slap her when he hears the pooch could cost upwards of twenty thousand dollars.  A.J. thinks that his mom's paranoia are humorous.  He wants his mom to lighten up and relax.  She's hoping that they can do some mother-son bonding in a Krav Maga class.  Not only will it allow the pair to spend time together, it will be another outlet for Renee's aggression.  Yeah, that's not going to happen.  A.J. tells his mother he isn't going along for the ride as she channels her inner Jackie Chan.  Renee then practices some of her wrestling techniques on A.J. in a cute family moment. He really seems like a good kid.

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Back in Arizona, Karen and Ramona are watching video of her father's sentencing.  Karen is hoping to find a taped conversation that proves her father didn't realize he was accepting a twenty year deal…he was only expecting to serve fifteen years.  She gets very emotional and frustrated because her father copped to the crimes to spare Karen jail time and to reduce his son's sentence.  An angry Karen is breaking some of the tapes, and Ramona gives her some tough love.  She's yelling at Karen to forgive herself.

At her martial arts class, Renee has recruited Drita to join her.  Drita is all about some hand-to-hand combat, and she's happy to have signature fighting moves in her back pocket should the need arise.  I'm not sure this is the best form of anger management for these ladies.  Later Renee and Drita meet Love for drinks, and Drita is getting tired of all the Carla hate.  Even after Krav Maga, she doesn't want any of her friends getting physical.  The women gossip about Karen meeting with Dave's new girlfriend, and the consensus is that if any of them were in Karen's position, the chick would be lucky to be alive once they got through with her.  Classy.

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As if on cue, we are treated to Karen meeting Dave and his current lady for dinner.  Dave's girlfriend Rebecca is silently staring a hole in Karen, as Karen starts her chatter about not being a psychopath.  Rebecca is giving very blunt answers to Karen's question, and I'm starting to wonder which of these ladies would prevail in a scuffle.  I may put my money on Rebecca.  Karen is throwing around her criminal past and her mob ties, and she believes that Rebecca's silence is a sign of respect.  I'm not sure that's what it is…if looks could kill, Karen would be dead ten times over after this meeting.  Karen then invites the couple to a get together she's thrown together while out in Arizona. 

Drita is doing make-up for a fitness magazine shoot.  She explains how she started doing make-up and why she had to quit when Lee "went away."  Being back in the scene gives her quite a rush, and she can't wait for her cosmetics salon to open.  Meanwhile, one of Love's former boyfriends is coming into town from Las Vegas, and she and Ang are shopping for lingerie.  Ang has her bust measured and she's a J.  A J-CUP, PEOPLE!  I didn't know bra sizes when up to J.  Love isn't far behind with a G-cup.  The women try on some giant over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders while chatting about all the girls massive chests.  Ang shares that even Carla has big boobs.  Love has never actually seen Carla in person, she's just heard how much Carla likes to talk about her to other people.  I love that Ang stands up for Carla, stating that the gossip that Love is entertaining is blown out of proportion. 

Karen drops off the dog at the groomers, and daughter Karina questions her mother's meeting with Rebecca.  Karina is so sweet, and she doesn't notice both her mom and Ramona visibly flinch when she talks about how nice and pretty Rebecca is…the opposite of her mom.  Ramona is convinced that Rebecca is putting on an act, and Karina will be hating the new woman in no time.  After being questioned, Karina shares that her dad and Rebecca are buying a house together.  Karen gets teary when Karina talks about growing about from her father if he were to have another child. 

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It's date night for Love and her ex Fate.  Seriously.  That's his name.  He's dressed like a cross between Mickey Mouse and one of those motorized dancing animals at Chuck E. Cheese.  Love is convinced that Fate is her perfect match. He's the only man who has ever been able to make her "act right" and "behave."  Is he rocking a fauxhawk under that woven black fedora?  I can't be sure.  There is just so much going on with this character.

Across the country, Karen is hosting her Arizona friends at a little party.  Dave and Rebecca arrive, and Ramona can't wait to chat with the new girl who she describes as a constipated lizard.  First, however, Ramona wants to corner Dave and plant a bug in his ear about reconciling with Karen.  He hesitates to tell Ramona he's in love with Rebecca, and he admits he'd been holding out hope regarding Karen.  While Karen's friends are dancing on the furniture, Ramona decides to corner Rebecca.  Ramona tries to scare Rebecca with Karen's mob connections, and she's impressed that Rebecca shows no fear.  Ramona thinks that Rebecca may actually be nice, and the women have major respect for Rebecca for coming to the party and holding her own. 

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Inspired by the fitness model, Drita signs up for boot camp to get in shape.  I'm exhausted just watching this quick scene.  Drita is one tough lady.  Ang hits up the end of the session to watch her friend before the girls head on a shopping spree.  Drita is proud of herself for climbing walls and lift logs instead of fist fighting her co-stars.  Speaking of fighting, the two women are worried that Love is going to rearrange Carla's face, and they think someone needs to warn Carla that Love isn't joking when she brags about her violent past. 

Next week, Renee wants to design a shoe line and Ramona starts planning her wedding.  The situation between Love and Carla escalates.

Photo Credit: VH1

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