Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: A Million Kimscuses!

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Yesterday was part 2 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. This segment was all about Wigs Zolciak. And if I had a dollar for all the Kimscuses she makes, I could buy me one of them foreclosed dream homes everyone is talking about! 

Phaedra Parks is apparently big news this season. We spent a ton of time running down her shenanigans and she seemed relatively composed for all the heat she took. It's clear the only person Phaedra has extreme distaste for is Kenya Moore

Things begin with a spotlight on NeNe Leakes, cause just in case you didn't know, she has AAAA-RIVED! Andy Cohen wonders if NeNe plays favorites and takes sides, case in point she seemed to dislike Phaedra and Kandi Burruss almost instantly. NeNe claims she never does that, Kandi reminds her that actually she does! We all know she does. NeNe likes people she can control and manipulate. And if it's apparent they don't need her or aren't going to bow down to her greatness, she goes all sour on them. So there's no need for her to even bother denying that! 

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NeNe discusses her relationship with Gregg and claims rumors spread by the other Housewives saying she flirted with Peter and was dating Charles Grant (behind Gregg's back) added pressure on their relationship. NeNe did, surprisingly, admit that she and Gregg had issues before the show and as her fame increased so too did the issues. But that was also because the other ladies made her look bad or something.

NeNe adamantly denies flirting with Peter and then says the other ladies made it look that way. Even Andy, NeNe lover extraordinaire, was like um…no. Is NeNe being allowed to "flirt/not flirt" with Peter part of the Friend Contract with Cynthia? Whatever the case NeNe and Gregg have worked through things and she is happy. We love them together so we're happy too. Made By Bravo Re-Wedding coming right up! 

NeNe accuses Phaedra, Kim and She By SheBroke of plotting to bring Marlo Hampton on the show to cause issues with her. Phaedra denies it. Who cares. 

Kenya keeps butting in to make herself relevant and flipping that fan around like it's something to be impressive. Phaedra calls her an "obsessed fan." I call her infantile. And for all the shade these girls were screeching about people throwing, why did no one bring a parasol? More appropriate attention-seeking props next time!

Phaedra maintains she keeps Krayonce relevant. Andy seems to oddly agree or at least support the drama."You owe me a backend for giving you a story," Phaedra tells Kenya. Well, yeah, kinda true that stealing the donkey booty workout DVD did cement Krayonce's role on the show. Although I think she owes one of her multiple personalities (and Walter!) for giving her crazy butt a story! 

Cynthia was barely present last night, she was basically like a statue of beautifulness who served as an attractive buffer between NeNe and Phaedra. And then NeNe and Phaedra have their big blowout. 

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NeNe believes Phaedra conspired with her two half-sisters, whom she hasn't spoken to in 8 years, to dig up dirt about her. NeNe says Sheree "big nose" and Kim "wig" were involved in the plot. Phaedra says she has an association with NeNe's sisters because NeNe's brother used to date Phaedra's cousin, so she knows NeNe's sisters far beyond the show. NeNe says this isn't true. 

Apparently the "low down dirty" Phaedra invited the half-sisters to Ayden's birthday party and then talked about NeNe in the parking lot. NeNe continues to deny that she and Phaedra knew each other from growing up in Athens, which seems odd. Interestingly it came out that NeNe is the one who sort of got Phaedra on the show, but then they ended up not being friends. 

NeNe started getting really loud and yelling at Phaedra. Whenever NeNe gets really loud and in people's faces I wonder if she's got something to hide. That being said, I've heard from many sources that Phaedra is friends with one of NeNe's half-sisters and I DO believe she probably talked to them about NeNe. Whatever the case it doesn't seem like much dirt emerged from the situation so who knows what happened. I definitely believe Phaedra communicated with them and knowing Phaedra and her love of gossip as we do, the subject of NeNe absolutely came up. 

Phaedra remained extremely composed even though NeNe said she had a "dirty soul". NeNe says her sister told her what Phaedra said. "You never can win when you're dirty," she yelled. Phaedra essentially said NeNe is paranoid and thinks everyone is out trying to get her. Something was very odd about this situation and I think both NeNe and Phaedra are guilty of some misdeed against each other and have something to hide. Then Phaedra apologizes and NeNe seems to be OK with that apology because God wants her to forgive. Andy grows bored and moves things along. 

BECAUSE… Wigzilla steps out! Kim's beehive must be called "The Marge." Channeling Marge Simpson realness. #Biter! I'd like to discuss Kim's dress – she needed to go up a size. It did not fit well at all. Second of all, even though she claims she was wigless, she totally had clip in pieces. 

Immediately everyone bursts into talk of Kim bailing on Anguilla. Kim straight up accuses the producers of lying about the dates she confirmed for the trip and Andy quickly calls her out on everything, including that she kept bailing on filming and didn't respect the other women. Which was awesome.

Everyone tells Kim they felt frustrated that she constantly made excuses, didn't pull her weight on the show, and dismissed all her obligations while expecting preferentially treatment. They were annoyed that Kim just could not be honest and say 'I don't want to go. And I want to quit this show, cause I don't care.' Furthermore Kim acted like her home situation was more important than everyone else's.

Kim continued to make more and more and more excuses. Does she store those suckers under her wig? Between her ginormous implants? Where does she come up with them all? Girl please – just be honest or don't talk. She tried to say she raises her own kids and can't just stay at events because of them. Um… really? CAMERA DON'T LIE MISS TWO REALITY SHOWS! Then Miss Tardy For The Party says she's never late to anything. This girl is beyond help! I was pleased to see Kandi call her out on plenty of nonsense.

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Kim rambles about why she insulted Kandi's house while she's living in a townhome her sugar daddy bought her and renovating her foreclosure. Just apologize for being hateful! And then they go into the big Kash debate. Kim insists she took out an LLC in her son's name in April (WHY?!) and makes Kroy bring out paperwork to prove it. BTW, he was standing by the side of the stage like a bodyguard overseeing the reunion. Kim also said he drives her everywhere. What is going on with this weirdo relationship between Gomer Goofball and Wigs-N-Cigs? Is he her baby-sitter or her "saccccurty!" 

Anyway, Kandi thinks it's a "helluva a coincidence" that Kim and she have so much in common, like sharing a brain, and using the same baby-name. The entire time NeNe was melting into an implosion of eye rolls and barely contained laughter. Kandi says she is no longer planning to use the name, cause she's just gonna sue Kim for royalties instead. Revenge! 

Andy asks if Kim ever saw Kandi as a friend and Kim says their relationship "dissolved." I just wanted NeNe to pipe up and say it dissolved once Kandi no longer let Kim use her! Oh and once Wigs got a man who was willing to be seen with her in public!

Did anyone else find it odd that the entire time she was talking to Kandi, Kim refused to look at her and kept her eyes trained on the ground near Andy's feet. Veeeery interesting! 

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NeNe's dress ate Kim. Left the wig though, too dry! 

Then NeNe and Kim tepidly hug. Kim has been gushing on twitter for the last two weeks about how she and NeNe are BFF for life again. 

Next week, the husbands take the stage and Kenya tries to claim Apollo is obsessed with her. Classy! 

[Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]

TELL US – WHAT'S UP WITH PHAEDRA AND NENE? DOES KIM OWE THE LADIES AN APOLOGY?

 

 

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