I cannot get enough of the Robertson family, and I was so sad to learn that next week is the season finale! So this season of Teen Mom is going to continue indefinitely (or until one of the girls finishes college…so forever), but we only get roughly six weeks of Si, Jase, Willie, and Phil? Something is not right in the world of reality television.
Last night's Duck Dynasty begins as Godwin and Jase arrive at the warehouse (fun fact…Godwin used to be a bull rider. I love him 8 seconds more than I did before!), and they are surprised to see a Harley parked in Willie's spot. Whoever would violate Willie's sacred space? Jase knows that there are two thinks you never mess with when it comes to Willie…his food and his coveted parking place. Jase enters his younger brother's office to find Willie strumming an electric guitar. When did Willie start playing? And why is his beard now five shades darker than his hair? It's almost black. Willie reveals that he's been messing around with the strings on and off…since yesterday. Mid-life crisis, anyone? Jase informs Willie that someone has parked in his spot, but Willie isn't concerned. The Harley is his. It goes perfectly with the new Warrant t-shirt he bought on eBay. Jase can't help but poke fun at his brother, sharing that Willie can barely ride a bicycle, much less a Hog.
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Like good little hens, the warehouse crew is clucking about Willie's new persona. Jep asks if anyone has noticed how dark Willie's beard is recently. Yes! Thank you, Jep! I've noticed! Si goes into a story about a foot long cockroach that has been creeping around Duck Commander, and Jase wonders what a giant bug has to do with Willie's new look. Si is frustrated. His stories need to develop. He's a regular M. Night Comealong. He sees
dead duck people. It just so happens that when Si and Jep were trying to squash the cockroach, Jep informed his uncle that Willie had dyed his beard. Jep elaborates on the story…but not much. Apparently Korie told Jep's wife that Willie was going for a darker look with his facial hair. Si explains that all stories (especially movies) need a good twist. He's convinced me not to rent Lady in the Water from Redbox. Jep and Jase are embarrassed by their brother's midlife crisis, and the guys plan a redneck intervention.
Miss Kay is cutting the cheese (no, really), while Phil plants mouse traps around the kitchen. Jep's wife Jessica stops by to drop of a casserole dish, and Phil reveals that his corn flakes are starting to look like raisin bran thanks to the mice. Kay thinks they should get some cats to reign in the mice, but Phil is not a cat person. Jessica is the deciding vote. Felines it is!
Willie knows his co-workers are totes jelly of his mad ride. He doesn't understand all of their hate. He's just tryin' to keep it rizzy up in hee-ya! Poor Sadie and John Luke are probably shaking their poor teenage heads as they watch this debacle. Martin jokes that he doesn't think the motorcycle has been anywhere but Willie's parking space, Jase dares his brother to take it for a spin around the lot. After putting on his helmet and revving the engine (and let's not forget the cool photo op), Willie admits that he can't ride his new toy. Jase is proud…it's a step in the right direction.
Si hops on the Harley to show Willie how to pop that baby into four-wheel-drive. Um…Jase reminds him that he's missing a couple wheels for that. Jep starts making fun of the senior citizen brigade, and Willie gets irked. It's one thing to take heat from older brother Jase, but he's not going to be teased by the shopaholic, beard conditioning baby of the brood. Jep challenges Willie to go head-to-head with him in any event, like running. Jase joins in on Willie's side (for once), saying that Jep only runs where his wife tells him to go. Si has had enough of the trash talking. He suggests a Battle of the Brothers. Game on!
The first event is truck pulling, and I'm hoping that none of the Robertson brothers throw out their back. Jep surprisingly wins, but Willie calls him a cheater for wearing performance enhancing shoes…which is a fancy term for tennis shoes. Inside the warehouse, Si has plans for an endurance test. He's channeled his inner Emerald Legacy (bwahahaha!) and provided hot peppers for the brothers to see who can eat the most. Bam! Bam! The brothers can't take the heat, and they declare a draw on this event. Si gathers his pitcher of tea, scoffs at his nephews, and calls them a bunch of "women" as he exits stage left. I love this man. Watch out, Soncie!
At their house, Kay and Phil are flanked by their newest additions. One of the kitties has terrible gas, one keeps trying to take off Miss Kay's hand, and the third has tried to steal Phil's manliness by curling up in his lap. He's quick to point out the large amounts of puke and pee the new pets have brought into their lives. Kay reluctantly agrees to take back the cats, but Jessica can't stand the idea and offers to take them home with her.
The final feat of brotherly competition is a game of wit. When the guys can't find Trivial Pursuit to test the boys' minds, Martin settles on a that childhood game where you have to put all the shapes in their proper place on a ticking game board before an alarm goes off sending the pieces flying. Jep is able to get seventeen shapes into place before the board pops. If humanly possible, Jase is even worse…he only gets five. He explains that he gave up toddler games back when he was a toddler. Willie gets fifteen shapes in place, solidifying Jep as the winner. His prize? Having his older brothers duct tape him to a pole just like old times.
At dinner, Phil prays over the family dinner while Willie touts the importance of having fun no matter your age.
Next week, the Robertson clan heads to Hawaii for the one hour season finale…WHAT? Didn't the season just start? Nooo!
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO SEE THE BROTHERS COMPETE IN?
[Photo Credit: A&E]