We will be bringing you weekly fancaps from the new reality dating show, Ready For Love. There have been two episodes so far and the recap below is the premiere episode that aired on the 9th. We'll be posting this week's episode shortly and then will be on track starting next week! Without further ado, here is Ready For Love, fancapped by Anne R.B.
I may be the only person watching Ready for Love. I read that ratings were very low for the premiere, and even worse in week 2. People: this show is GOOD. It's not actual good like Downton Abbey, it's stupid/adorable good – like Most Eligible Dallas. The show begins with Executive Producer Eva Longoria giving us an infomercial speech about why she invented this show: she loves dating shows but hates how the couples never last! What's a girl to do? Scientifically reinvent reality dating shows, of course. Her plan is 3-fold:
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(1) Better Guys. As a Bachelor fan, this comment offended me at first! How dare she imply some of my favorite men – Sean Lowe, Jef Holm, Brad Womack – weren't good enough! And then I remembered Ben Flajnik. Touche, Eva. Tell me more about your plan for dating show domination.
(2) Matchmakers. The three best matchmakers in the world! Wait, where is Patti Stanger? I will assume these men aren't millionaires- the only possible explanation for why she wasn't selected! Each matchmaker will pick 4 matches for each of the three guys
(3) Mentoring. Not only will these matchmakers select the girls, they will mentor them! Imagine history rewritten if The Bachelor had mentoring!! "Kacie B, stay out of it!" "Desiree, hide your brother!" "Ali, dye your roots!"
WAIT – a fourth change! Instead of a mansion with roses and walking, eliminations will take place on a stage complete with live-audience, hosted by America's favorite married couple – Giuliana and Bill Rancic! The contestants are arranged in what looks like Hollywood Squares meets human Plinko board, and under the stage is a lair called The Garden which looks like a Rainforest Cafe – this is where the breakups will happen. Best of all, the girls will enter and exit the stage through Hunger Games elevators!! The clear, glass case of emotion kind. I can't wait! On to the first episode! Let the Hunger Games begin!!
There will be three bachelors total, but tonight we just meet the first one: Tim Lopez. Tim is a rock star in the band Plain White Ts (the Hey There Delilah song). He is dirty blonde, cute, and softspoken. We learn he was married to a gorgeous girl who ended their relationship because his touring schedule took a toll on their relationship. He has a sweet family and seems normal!
To begin, the blind meeting of the ladies! Unlike The Bachelor where girls step out of the limo in va-va-voom dresses, Plain White Tim will first hear each girl introduce herself in groups of 4. Based on that introduction, he will choose 3 girls to meet and the other must descend into The Garden of Rejects. But first we learn a little bit about each matchmaker and the method to his/her madness.
Matchmaker Amber seems legit. Her business is the largest in the world – 13 offices worldwide and 40,000 successful matches! She compares matchmaking to headhunting for the CEO of a company, and has been happily married for 22 years herself!
Matchmaker Matt has an English accent! What he says about his strategy could very well be BS, but it just sounds so good with his accent that I don't notice. It's bloody brilliant, I'm sure! He mentions the Royal Family, I assume he knows Kate Middleton, and I'm sold. He appears unmarried!
Matchmaker Tracy doesn't seem like a matchmaker. She's a relationship author. She tells us that women who aren't married are shallow, selfish, bitches (her words, not mine). I Google her and learn that she's thrice married and divorced. Some would say this makes her the least qualified to advise in the love department, but I think sometimes more mistakes = more wisdom! She may be able to spot compatibility red flags the other two would miss.
So who do we think is the best matchmaker based on qualifications alone? I'm going to go with Amber! Let's meet the girls they've picked!
Team Amber: First up is Sara, whose fiance died from skin cancer. She seems serious, but maybe in a good way. She's learned life is short and love is important. I think she'll stick around! Siham recites French poetry and states that part of her is in love with Tim already. This girl is true Bachelor material! Plain White Tim is sold on the accent alone. Lisa has a strong energy and sounds like she's interviewing for a job, and then she sings an opera song. It is wonderful but awkward for an introduction and I think she will be sent home. Hailey reads a letter from her Dad to PWT, which seems intense but she delivers it well. She ends with a Dumb & Dumber quote and the camera makes Sara and Siham look pissed, but I bet they laughed. PWT digs it. He selects Sara, Hailey, and Siham – I am not surprised because Lisa didn't tell him a single thing about her!
Team Matt: Taonaya talks about how she's dreamed of love since she was a little girl, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw PWT on The Today Show. She sets high expectations for PWT, but she seemed more down to earth in her video so I hope she is selected. Danielle is next, she is so positive and happy! She is also divorced from a high school sweetheart but has such a great energy. Alexis starts off well saying laughter is important in relationships…and then she raps. At least it's in English unlike Opera girl. My girl G chimes in "that was fun…" HA! Finally we have Leah, an old flame from PWT's hometown! She has an adorable son and PWT seems touched that she's here for a second chance. I think he will send Taonaya home, but he surprises me and sends Alexis home! Good choice, PWT!!
Team Tracy: Sarah is Southern, a UNC fan, and pops a bottle of champagne on stage! Love her already. Christina read him a sultry poem and he immediately wants to meet her! Jenna is the youngin' of the group and normally I don't buy the "but I'm so mature!" bit, but with her I do. We meet Lana who tells PWT they are a match because they've both been in serious relationships and he has everything she's looking for. They could talk or not talk forever! No info on her. Bye, Lana! NBC doesn't even give us time to guess on that one.
I should mention all the girls are absolute knockouts, and so well dressed! Good job, Ready for Love! I bet Eva and G being the fashionistas they are refused to let the girls supply their own dresses. The remaining 9 girls move into a Plain White Tim themed house. It's much cooler than the normal Bachelor mansion – reminds me of America's Next Top Model or Real World housing, including the contrived "this is all for us?!" adlibs. The teams meet with their matchmakers for inspirational advice. Matt tells his girls to connect with emotion, not logic- because "logic is just facts." See, when I write that down it's ridiculous, but when his accent said it, it sounded brilliant! Bloody brilliant! Amber tells her girls how to build their brand, which should be themselves- but sexy. Then Tracy gives the weirdest. advice. ever. It starts out simple, "Be in the moment." That's easy enough. Then she adds "[Champagne Sarah], just imagine those kids that you teach. They're not self-aware. That's where I want you to go." What the what? My champs-loving champ nods understandingly, and I cringe wondering what non-self-aware Champagne Sarah is planning…
Plain White Tim takes the 9 girls on their first group date! A Plain White Ts concert. YES! Concerts are my favorite on the Bachelor because the girls always look so awkward trying to groove to the music, or in this case, sway to the Rhythm of Love. Christina and Danielle win the grooving contest- you have to either commit to dancing or commit to not dancing, and they committed to the dancing! Go girls! Poor Leah awkward-clapped, half-swayed, and sang the "ba-bas". She did not understand the private concert rules, tsk tsk.
The only thing more awkward than a private concert is being forced to enjoy it on a carpet in a yard.
For the second part of the date, PWT plays them a new song of his, and then forces them to write the second verse. I wonder if it's for fun or if he has writer's block? Finally we see a beer! And some wine! No one seems drunk, so I assume they are playing by Patti rules and there is a 2 drink maximum. The girls all do really well singing! No one fights and it's really low-key so they cut that segment short and start something more dramatic: Leah pulls PWT away for a private talk in the sound room, which just happens to be mic-ed and all the girls can hear! Shock! She tells him how she feels, he tells her that he respects her and that she is a sweetheart- yikes. Those aren't quite love words.
The matchmakers call PWT and announce his one-on-one dates: goofy Hailey, happy Danielle, and sultry concert-dancing Christina! Hailey calls herself an old maid and a chuckle house, and says "like" about 1000 times. Then she cries. Because she's excited and overwhelmed. Then she tells a story of how she passed gas on a guy. And cries more because telling gas stories is so natural with PWT! I officially retract what I said about no one seeming drunk. Danielle asks about PWT's geekiness and divulges her checklist, informing him that he meets over half of her FIFTY requirements. I was hoping her criteria would be as random as my favorite reality star of all time Courtney Kerr's (has a globe in his office that his mentor gave him; a dog with a manly name) but they weren't. Must love music, yawn. Now we meet Christina's alter ego, XTina. For the first hour of this show Christina was upbeat! sultry but fun! She won the grooving contest!!! Tracy tells her to show him her serious side now, and we meet XTina, "I was worried because I'm a little darker than you…" The Closed Captioning on my TV says XTina [plays somber music]. I recommend putting Closed Captioning on for all reality shows- CC tells it like it is! And it IS somber. Come back, Christina! XTina is weird!
We return to the live studio audience so the matchmakers can critique how the girls did on their dates. Christina returns for the critique and Bill tells her the eye contact in her sultry song needs to be censored- Mamma Mia! The matchmakers are NOT happy with Chuckle House Hailey. A very obvious recorded voiceover tells us that f-a-r-t should never be said on a date. She takes the critique VERY well. I think she was just nervous. And maybe tipsy. I hope she stays. The matchmakers then slam Danielle's list of 50 things PWT must have, and she takes it well too! It's Leah's turn, and she does not take the criticism well. She shakes her head and has a ton of "excuse you?" expressions. Giuliana asks Leah if she and PWT have been intimate. Her response of "that's personal" is BS, and Bill totally calls her out! Trump-style bluntness – "You not saying no, validates yes."
Here's my favorite part: the matchmakers get to pick the bottom three! Chris Harrison is so jealous. You know he stands there screaming inside "I TOLD YOU SO!" about Ali/Justin, Ashley/Bentley, Emily/Kalon. If only he had voting power! They select Chuckle House Hailey, Champagne Sarah, and Old Flame Leah. PWT gets to save one from elimination, and he saves Hailey! The Hunger Games elevators take PWT, Champagne Sarah, and Old Flame Leah to The Garden of Rejects. Champagne Sarah pleads that she just needs encouragement to step outside of her comfort zone. And Leah finally seems sincere! If she was like this on their date, I don't think she'd be in the Garden. She's so scared to lose him again.
And then she does. Poor Leah 🙁 At least she has closure she wouldn't have had if she didn't take the risk and come on the show. Her exit interview is really heartbreaking. But I'm glad that Champagne Sarah will get a chance to show her non-non-self-aware self!
Winner prediction: Based this first episode, I'm going to predict Sara and Danielle being the finalists. I think next week we will say Sayonara to Taonaya and See Ya to Siham since they got such little screen time this week.
Quote of the week: "I'm a creative type, which makes me feel like I'm a dead ringer for Tim."
Fancap Author: Anne R.B.
Photo Credit: Vivian Zink/NBC
UPDATE: Unfortunately, NBC just announced the cancelation of the show!