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On tonight’s finale episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Rodger Berman has babies on the brain while Rachel Zoe is swept up in photo shoots, look books and gold lamé dresses.

Things begin with Rachel and Rodger in bed with bed hair. Rodger thinks he rocks the bed head look. Rachel thinks that between the two of them their hair is a disaster. I concur. Rodger disagrees and thinks his wife’s bed hair is sexy and basically launches himself on her like a catapult in the hopes of sexytimes. However Rachel summons extreme strength from the fashion Gods and basically uses a force field to fend off her desperate for baby #2 husband. Rodger says he wants a baby, however, Rachel doesn’t. For the first time all season, I am siding with Rodger.  Considering what cutie patootey kids these two make, I’m all for it. New Campaign starts today: #SiblingForSky!

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While Rodger may want a second child, the way he addressed babygate failed on an epic level. His message was harsh and his delivery sucked. Basically it went like this Rachel = Old lady eggs. Baby #2 = Now or Never. Yep that Rodger Berman, he is so not in the running for husband of the year. So now Rodger is basically dead man walking and he clearly didn’t learn much from Joey’s last week forty year old (don’t utter the f word) slip up. I don’t expect much from Rodger, I typically expect to see his ugly hair on man dates each episode, so I’m never too shocked when he opens his mouth without consulting the alleged brain he has. You know the one that may or may not exist beneath that mountain of disastrous hair. I’m going to go out on a limb here, but I think all that hair product has fried his brain, because where on God’s green earth did he think it would be cool to call his wife old? He does realize he is married to Rachel Zoe right?

I mean Rachel’s entire life revolves around fashion and Hollywood. Hollywood is a place where Botox and fillers are typically considered grocery staples and ginormous Taylor Armstrong lips are the town’s honorary mascot. Rachel reacts exactly how any forty year old woman who belongs to the 90210 zip code would. She implodes. Rachel isn’t having any of it and is clearly in denial about infertility in women of a certain age. I guess the whole ‘40 year old eggs argument’ is a bit of a sore spot for Miss don’t you dare call me the ‘f’ word. Rachel shuts Rodger down with a single ‘Continue this discussion and I will actually make you come to work’ look. BUUURN! Rodger suddenly envisions all his glorious lunch dates and golf days evaporating in to thin air, he decides to temporarily retire babygate as he doesn’t want to part with his 2pm man date. #Pickyourbattles.

Rodger and Rachel are at a book meeting. You read that right. Rodger was there. Rodger declares that the book is going to be a huge undertaking, seeing as how the last book nearly killed all parties involved. Ok so it’s Rodger the masochist now. Of course Rodger would equate work with death, melodramatic much?

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Rachel is back at home getting ready for her photo shoot. Apparently Rachel fought tooth and nail not to be on her last book cover but for this cover she is surrendering. For someone who was resisting being front and center, Rachel the Diva acclimates to her role as model like a boss lady. I could pretend to be shocked but I’m not. ZoeZilla is back in the house and I’m used to her little; ‘I don’t like the camera’ act now. She is so comfortable I think I spotted a Kenya Moore twirl in there – girl wants her back end. She frolics around her home happily posing and jumping in and out of glamorous garments. Side note, all the dresses she’s sporting look like they are about 10 sizes too big. Girl needs a steak.

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The photographer wants Rachel to try and wear color and for some reason the word color has also been banned from the Château Zoe. Everyone is walking on egg shells and doesn’t want to be the one to ask Rachel to try a color dress. Rachel thinks color doesn’t work in her house time for a renovation episode. Her staff begin running around like chickens, freaking out she may cut their heads off at the very suggestion she wear color. Marissa reveals that Rachel has a strong aversion to the color pink, so I am surprised she’d be silly enough to suggest a pink dress when there is an entire archive worth of possible selections for her too choose from that wouldn’t be the color of death pink. Rachel begrudgingly gives in and puts on the pink vintage couture. Unfortunately she looks like she belongs are a fairy princess renaissance fair. If you had of put a bonnet on her she could have passed for little Miss Muffet which could have been a fun story time scene with Skyler.

Marissa decides that Rachel’s bedroom rug would be perfect for the lounge room shot. Marissa and the team head upstairs and pull a secret ops mission and steal the rug only to be caught by Rodger. However Rodger and Marissa broker a secret telepathic deal where Rodger won’t tell on them for stealing her rug if they don’t tell on Rodger for not doing any work. #SecretTreaty

Now it’s time for the family portrait. Rachel is wearing a gold lamé dress that is giving her flashbacks to her Bat Mitzvah. While Rodger is spending an eternity choosing an outfit, Skyler runs in and for a baby who can barely speak he tells his Mom he wearing Gucci. The family photo shoot is underway and Rachel gets nostalgic because she was dressed in gold lamé when she first met Rodger in the 20s and now looks at them – baby makes three!

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Rodger decides to go shopping for Skyler and to buy some play clothes and all the viewers could predict how this poor storyline was going to end. Rodger brings Skyler dressed in his new non-designer clothes and Rachel’s reaction was eerily similar to how Captain Von Trapp from The Sound of Music reacted when he found out his children were running around town dressed in drapes. The only difference here was Rodger’s hair was longer than Fräulein Maria’s. Rachel thinks Rodger has lost his mind and Rodger thinks Rachel is like the head spinning exorcist when it comes to their son’s wardrobe. Rodger thinks Skyler needs to look tough because he lives in Beverly Hills and those streets can be rough. Rachel compromises that the clothes can be for when Skyler is playing sports. She doesn’t want his Gucci threads getting grass stains anyway.

While Rachel, Rodger and Skyler are playing, Rachel reveals she used to have a Holly Hobby easy bake oven. Rodger is impressed his wife baked once upon a time. However Rachel says she left her life baking behind when she discovered Barbie and Ken. Rodger said he used to chew the heads off his sisters’ Barbies and throw them down the stairs. Rachel thinks that Rodger secretly played with the Barbie dolls and that this is just a tough guy act.

Today is the day of Rachel’s look book shoot. Rachel is over the moon excited that her roles as stylist and fashion designer are about to collide. Rachel is desperate to move beyond the celebrity personality she is known as – you know the ‘I die, ermahgerd, everything, maj and bananas’ girl and become a serious designer, label and one woman empire. To become this Rachel declares that on set she has to morph into a psycho speed stylist while channeling her on set alter ego ‘Accessory Sue’. I get it; I too decide to become ‘Typing Tiffany’ when I am writing a paper – not. Joey thinks Rachel’s line has an ‘S and M’ theme to it but Rachel doesn’t take him seriously while he is holding a Liza-esque compact.

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Rachel starts seeing red when a red assemble crosses her path. Mandana is in the background squawking that they need to priorities because they are running out of time. Rachel ignores Mandana the stress head and runs around looking for potential changes to the look and suddenly crisis averted – after momentarily dropping her stylist hat she relocates it and swaps the jacket and boots and suddenly the look is restored to Rachel approved standards. Rachel is grateful she didn’t give in to failure and Mandana’s pesky time keeper stopwatch attitude. Rachel tells the camera that she is able to succeed because she knows how to remain very Zen. I don’t think Rachel understands what Zen means. If Zen means neurotic, crazy, impulsive, indecisive, anxious and irrational, then, yes, I totally agree Rachel, you are Zen. But as for its current meaning you are Zoe not Zen.

The shoot is a success and Rachel calls the team in for a group photo. Rodger isn’t present for the last scene of the series because he wasn’t at the shoot at all, but I like the symmetry that he is yet again not present at something work-related. Rachel closes the series by saying becoming a designer has been chaotic, challenging and rollercoaster of emotions. Rachel then reveals that Diane Von Furstenberg once told her something that was so profound that she has never forgotten it. Rachel asked Diane how she has remained so successful in the biz for so long to which a philosophical Diane told her that she was always just hoping to become the woman that she was always supposed to become just the same as Rachel has. Sidebar: I Love DVF, she gave Whitney Port similar life advice in her show The City!

In her interview Rachel admits that Diane’s words made her realize that she is still discovering who she is every single day. For now, Rachel tells the camera that her path of career self-discovery includes wanting more, working harder, striving for excellence and finding her destiny in the fashion world as a one woman empire to be reckoned with. 

Fancap Author: Gina P.

Photo Credits: BravoTV

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