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Just when I think Abby Lee Miller can't sink to a new low in favoritism and self-importance, I'm treated to a new episode of Dance Moms.  Last night's show was insane!  

Abby is on Cloud Nine after beating Cathy and her Candy Apples, but Kelly and Christi are still not speaking.  Before the pyramid begins, Asia and Kristie 2.0 return.  Asia finds herself at the bottom for missing last week due to a television gig.  Nia is next for lagging just a tad behind in the group number.  Kendall is called out for a lacking rehearsal, and Paige rounds out the bottom tier even though she garners Abby's praise.

MacKenzie finds herself in fourth place followed by Chloe and MaddieAbby cannot say enough about the girls' flawless duet.  Brooke takes the top spot–has that ever happened?–for dancing up with the senior troupe.  The group number is entitled "Living with the Ribbon."  Abby wants it to be a tribute number to all of the people who have been affected by cancer, and Melissa immediately gets choked up because she lost her mother to the disease.

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Asia and MacKenzie will not be in the group dance, but they each get a solo.  Maddie and Chloe both get solos as well, and Abby reminds Chloe that she could be amazing if she listened to her instead of her mother.  Abby also warns the mothers that if they revisit their awful behavior from last week, they will be kicked out of the studio for good.  Jill fills in Kristie 2.0 on the drama between Christi and Kelly as both ladies pretend not to notice the other.

In a very sneaky move, Abby plans to give both Maddie and Chloe the same choreography for their solo.  She hopes it will shut Christi up once and for all for always claiming that Chloe loses to Maddie because she gets lackluster choreography.  Jill takes Christi down to the costume room while Kelly explains her feelings on the friendship breakdown to 2.0.

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Maddie and Chloe realize they have the same solo music, and the moms immediately realize that they girls will being do the exact same dance with the same costume.  Maddie is confused, and Christi realizes that Abby is teaching her a lesson about getting an even playing field.  Christi believes that Abby has choreographed the dance to Maddie's strengths (of course she does), and Kelly thinks it's incredibly unfair to pit the girls against each other.

Asia is practicing Too Hot To Handle, and Abby is making MacKenzie watch her rehearse.  She thinks it will spark more competition between the two if they are forced to see what the other is doing.  They're six, so I'd say she was being waaaaaaay too easy on them, right?  Jill is upset that Kristie 2.0 gets to watch Asia's solo from the studio floor.  None of the other mothers are given that luxury.  You have to love how worked up Jill gets about things that have absolutely nothing to do with her or her daughter.

Christi is convinced that Melissa will make sure that Maddie gets extra private time with Abby.  She and Jill play private investigators as they sneak around the studio and try to videotape the extra rehearsal time.  The following day, Abby tries to explain her motives to Chloe and Maddie.  Not only is she preparing them for the world of professional dance where everyone learns the same number to try out for a part, she reminds Chloe that her mother has a big mouth and always has something to say about how unfair Abby is when Maddie wins.  She makes Chloe stay in the studio while Maddie practices, but Abby won't let her watch her friend dance…she has to turn her back to the dance floor.

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Abby enlists Kelly and Christi to dye the ribbon used in the group number.  While the other mothers speculate on what they are talking about, the women are in the bathroom in total silence.  As the girls don their costumes, a tearful Abby talks about cancer patients losing their dignity.  She has all of her students crying with her…even Asia, who is sobbing about a dog of her father's who died before she was born.

In Indiana, the girls are prepping for the competition.  Kristie 2.0 wonders what will happen when MacKenzie loses her cute factor.  Melissa wonders what will happen if Asia is made to do choreography that isn't burlesque or Pussy Cat Dolls or totally age inappropriate in nature.  Oh wait…it's me who is wondering that.  MacKenzie's dance is adorable, but it's more tumbling and gymnastics than choreography.  Next, Asia lip synchs and sasses through a racy number.  Back in the green room, Abby rails Asia for singing along with the song.  Asia just takes the criticism. Abby can yell all she wants, but she's not going to cry.

Abby places Chloe and Maddie side by side to make sure that their costumes are the same.  Chloe dances first while Maddie watches from the wings.  She does a beautiful job, and Maddie is conflicted because even though Chloe is her friend, Maddie wants to win.  Maddie shines on stage, but she falters (barely) on a turn.  After she leaves the stage, MacKenzie tries to hug her sister, but Maddie pushes her off in anger.

Backstage, Abby refuses to pick who she thought did a better job, although she gives an underhanded cut when she says she's proud that Chloe even remembered the dance.  Jill then brings up her secret footage of Maddie having an extra private lesson.  Melissa is immediately on the defensive as Christi calls her out for lying.  Kelly sits back smirking.  You know she's just thrilled to finally be on the sidelines of the drama for once!  Abby screams that it makes no difference how much practice Maddie has because she can learn a difficult dance in an hour and perform it flawlessly.

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Before the girls perform their group number, Abby gives another pep talk about people dying from cancer.  Kelly encourages her daugters to dance for their grandfather who is living with prostate cancer.  It's a beautiful number, and of course I'm a blubbering idiot.  Seeing her friend so sad, Christi realizes that life is too short to be fighting with Kelly.  She hugs her Kelly and the women apologize.

The group number wins first place, and MacKenzie comes in second place to Asia in the their solo division.  Melissa is disappointed, and Kristie 2.0 is smug.  Chloe wins first in her age group while Maddie takes second.  If looks could kill, Maddie would have taken out the whole audience. Of course, Abby tells Melissa that she is shocked that Maddie didn't win.  Backstage, Maddie isn't doing a great job hiding her anger.  The director of the competition then comes into the practice room to say the judges made a scoring error and Maddie was actually the true winner.  My heart is breaking for Chloe who chokes back her tears as she takes her plaque to her friend saying she's happy for her.

After he leaves, Jill questions how the judges figured out their mistake, and Abby insists that they approached her with the news and she was as surprised as anyone.  On cue (you have to love these scripted reality shows, right?), the director returns and thanks Abby and Melissa for bringing the scoring mishap to his attention.  Abby, knowing she's been caught in a lie, just shrugs and leaves the room.  

Next week, Cathy and Candy Apples are back with a new dream team, while Abby builds a studio in L.A.

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  HOW BADLY DID YOU FEEL FOR CHLOE?

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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