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So, last night was the big recital for Abby Lee Miller's studio, and while y'all deserve a better intro, I'm kind of baffled/saddened/confused about what happened on last night's Dance Moms.  Let's just get on with the recap, shall we?

The girls are preparing for the ALDC annual dance concert.  Abby allows her girls to be slightly thrilled for their group dance victory last week before announcing Paige as the bottom of the pyramid.  She makes Paige share why she's at the bottom…and it's for a minute mistake in the group routine.  Kelly is livid.  Maddie gets praised for a costume mishap, and her daughter is the lowest of the low for coming out of a turn too soon.  Kelly says as much, and Abby is irate.  To make her point, she makes Maddie drop and give her twenty push-ups to "appease" Kelly.  That is horrible.  Kelly's beef is with Abby, not with Maddie, and it's sick to see how Abby tries make alienate Maddie from her peers.

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Brooke follows her sister, and Kendall is chastised for a less than perfect turn.  Nia rounds out the bottom for her positive attitude and Holly's lack of confrontation.  Makes sense…not.  Asia is the bottom of the second tier, and Jill loses it.  She doesn't think it's fair that Asia is ranked at all since she didn't perform in the group dance.  MacKenzie has to cover her mouth to keep from smiling knowing that she's finally beaten the nemesis that Abby has created for her.  Kristie 2.0 and Kelly go at it, and I'm shocked that the original Christi manages to stay out of things.  Chloe is third for giving a "good effort" during her hip hop solo.  Shockingly, Maddie is second (for finishing second in her solo) with her sister taking the top spot.  MacKenzie is over the moon.  Melissa is excited but confused.  I notice the cameras don't pan to Maddie…someone clearly has yet to perfect their gracious face.

The moms are stressing over this week's showcase.  Everyone will be getting a solo, but each girl will perform an old favorite…except for Paige.  She's getting a totally new routine, and Abby thinks that Kelly should be grateful.  Kelly wonders why Paige is getting a new dance when Abby always claims she's s step behind.  Abby also asks Brooke to sing her new song at the concert.  In addition to the group routine, the girls will be participating in a photo shoot where they will be competing against each other for the cover of an online magazine.

In the viewing room, the moms agree with Kelly that Abby isn't kind to any child whose name doesn't rhyme with Laddie or Fasia.  However, Jill thinks that Kelly should be happy that Abby is willing to teach Paige a fun, new routine.  Kelly reminds the other women that the whole point of a recital is to perform past routines.  The following day, Abby warns Holly, Kristie 2.0, Jill, and Melissa that she won't put up with any of Kelly or Christi's crap.  She wonders why they have a problem with what Abby says about their kids, but they have no issue with Christi and Kelly's shenanigans.  Holly sees her point, but she thinks Abby creates a lot of stress surrounding the recital.  The moms try to prepare 2.0 for what Asia will endure from Abby.  Abby, after all, likens her showcase to a Broadway production.

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After Brooke rehearses her song, Abby calls in Paige to see if her mother will allow her to do the new number.  She explains that Paige can mess up a new dance and no one would ever know.  Unfortunately, Paige tells Abby that she'd rather do an older routine.  Geez, Paige!  Have you not learned anything?  This isn't going to turn out well.  Before the dress rehearsal, as the girls are dressed for their group numbers, Abby tells the crew that she's pulling Paige's solo since she refused to learn a new one.  She asks the girls if anyone will volunteer to do a second solo.  Kelly's face falls when she sees her daughter lose her opportunity.  None of the girls raise their hands, and Abby reminds Maddie that she'd love to showcase on of her other dances.  Kelly is furious and yells that Abby is the one choosing Maddie.  Abby looks at Maddie and tells her that she's going to ask for volunteers again, and Maddie should raise her hand.  That happens (does she realize the disservice she's actually doing to Maddie?), and then Abby yells for someone to call the cops to have Kelly removed.  This show has officially turned my stomach more than I thought it could.

The day before the recital, Christi calls Kelly to see if she'll be attending the showcase.  Melissa hopes that Kelly's anger won't keep her from allowing Brooke to sing and both girls to dance.  The moms are torn between Kelly's antics and Abby's hatefulness.  Abby interrupts the ladies' gossip to offer Jill a tango duet during the showcase.  Jill may be more excited than the girls to perform!  After rehearsal, the girls head to their online dance mag photo shoot, and Abby says the cover has Maddie's name written all over it.  Of course, then she cattily says that if Kelly had allowed her daughters to participate, she could see Paige winning.  Which is it?  The photo shoot is absolutely adorable…I love seeing the girls have fun despite these crazy, awful ladies.

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The day of the recital, the girls will be performing to a sold out crowd.  As the girls are getting prepped, Abby brings in the director of the online magazine to unveil the cover girl…and not even Abby knows who is gracing the cover.  Even Jill is shocked to find out that Kendall is the winner–not because her daughter isn't beautiful and talented, but because she's just so used to Maddie getting everything.  And, let's be honest.  Who isn't?  I am so happy for Kendall.

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We're treated to mini-clips of each girls' solo, and I remember the one portion of this show that I like.  Asia then dances her entire, adorable solo with her pants on backwards.  I never would have known.  She's quite the talent, but 2.0 is worried that it will be the end of her stay with the ALDC.  Maddie performs her second solo next, and, begrudgingly (I shouldn't feel this way!), I think it's amazing.  The group number is totally adorbs.  Afterwards, MacKenzie must dance, but she's freaking out because she can remember her solo.  She's goes from near tears to total sass pot on stage.  Precious.

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Jill has a slightly impressive tango, although she shouldn't hold her breath to hear from Dancing with the Stars.  At the end of her number, Melissa and Christi run out to gift their friend with roses and a tiara.  Abby totally loses her shiz…Jill will never dance again if her friends don't know how to behave.  Give me a break!  Of course, Abby is fine once the showcase ends and she receives her standing ovation.  Backstage, the moms briefly discuss Maddie's second solo and Kelly's feelings before the girls come back to the staging area.  Abby wants to know who dressed Asia, and as the mothers are hemming and hawing about how their daughters would never have costume malfunction, Asia is quick to admit that she dressed herself, she made a mistake, and it will never happen again.  Funny that the youngest child on this show may be the most mature…

Next week, Abby and Kathy go head to head at a competition, and Peyton's crazy mom returns to usurp Kelly's spot.  Anthony is insubordinate to Kathy, and Christi tries to break up a West Side Story-esque rumble between moms past and present–why, look!  There's Black Patsy!

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  SHOULD KELLY HAVE REACTED AS SHE DID?

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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