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Well it's nice to know that Gretchen Rossi has something to fall back on now that her time on Real Housewives of Orange County has allegedly come to an end! Although I'm not sure if someone who routinely butchers the English language should embark upon a writing career. Suntins funny about that! #WrathOfFURRY

Nevertheless, Gretchen Christine of Gretchen Christine Enterprises announced that she will be OK! Magazine's newest lifestyle contributor. Lucky readers! In her first column Gretchen talked all things Halloween, beginning with her Great Gatsby themed party - if Great Gatsby was a polyester brothel of horrors, perhaps.

Gretchen gave readers some makeup and beauty tips for how to achieve her look. Both Gretchen and Adriana de Moura need to do a little research on the roarin' twenties – or pick up a book! 

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST! 

Among Gretchen's other subjects, she created a handy photo slideshow all about making pumpkin lollipops and cupcakes using a mix from a box. How clever! And inventive! 

I'm pretty sure Slave Smiley, who is acting as her manager or something - I think, took the photos on his camera phone. Basically the gist of this here whole column is that Gretchen fancies herself a be-botoxed and poly-chiffon Martha Stewart.

Somewhere Martha Stewart is belly laughing and calling Gretchen "annoying". Oh wait… that was Bethenny Frankel. These Housewives better step off her turf before she goes Orange Is The New Black on them with a rolling pin! 

[Photo Credits: Instagram]

TELL US – WILL YOU BE READING GRETCHEN'S COLUMN?

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More of Gretchen's Halloween look. At least it's not Slutty Great Gatsby! 

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