Love & Hip Hop Recap: Royalties Or Ratchetness?

hip hop erica mena

So last night's Love & Hip Hop was one giant mess, was it not? Peter Gunz keeps getting worse and worse, and the women in his life have got to be the best actresses on the planet because there is no way that they are that stupid. Throw in K. Michelle's attitude, and my head is reeling. You know it's bad when Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena are the sanest folks on the episode!

Saigon invites Erica Jean to the studio to apologize for screaming at her, throwing her pocketbook, lunging at her, calling her every name under the book, and accusing her of stunting their son's development. No biggie. He explains that his father was always so ugly to his mother and it made him hate his dad. He doesn't want his son to see him treating Erica in the same manner. Erica is thrilled that Saigon has seen the light, and he actually rationally and calmly inquires as to whether she'd be alright if they both took their son to see a speech therapist. He knows his son is fine (he's clearly been doing some more googling!), but it can't hurt to see a specialist. Just think of the drama they could have avoided had he done it that way the first time!

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Amina Buddafly is shocked to find out that Peter isn't wearing the wedding ring she got for him. Aren't they supposed to be working towards being a more traditional married couple? Peter missed that memo. Amina wonders where he goes when he doesn't spend the night with her. Well duh. Peter accuses her of acting more like Tara Wallace with all of her nagging. He disgustingly uses his kids as the reason why he stays at Tara's. He is just one big douchey ball of gross. These women better be getting paid a lot of money to look this foolish. 

After her plate flinging lunch with Peter, Erica goes to visit Rich to revoke his invitation to Panama. He yells at her that her behavior is crazy. For once, Erica makes a valid point…Peter's personal life is far messier than anything he took issue with between her and Rich. As Rich softens, Erica turns on the tears, claiming she only signed the contract to keep Rich in her life. She knows they love each other very much, but she also doesn't think they'll ever last given the intensity of their relationship. It's a day of confessions for Rich, as Yandy Smith apologizes for taking out her frustrations about Mendeecees' situation on Rich. He understands and wants to be their for his oldest friend, and he comforts her when she breaks down. The duo decides to put their label on hold so Yandy can make her boys her only priority.

It's hard to be K. Michelle. Her tour is chaos, she's been missing events, and people are getting sue happy. She's tired of hearing whisperings that she's become "too Hollywood" and too diva-ish. Can she help it if her Godfather died? If event coordinators want to sue someone, they need to be looking to Jesus. Are we sure K. Michelle is on her meds? She is meeting with a manager and explaining the importance of having competent people surrounding her. Is it too much to ask that she have the top stylists prepped and ready to make her the next Beyonce? Where is blinged out mic? Where is bottle of Jack Daniels to swig from while performing? Why won't men ask her out? Where should she move to since her current housing situation is plagued by demons? Seriously, is all of this too much for her to ask?

hip hop k michelle

Over drinks, Peter and Rich are meeting to recap the diner debacle. Peter decides to turn into a fifteen-year-old girl and gives Rich an ultimatum…Erica or him. Rich refuses to cower to his silliness, and he tells Peter that he's not trying to make things personal. Too late. Peter decides to have a tantrum when he doesn't get his way (should he be Farrah Abraham's plus one on Couples Therapy?), and Rich holds his ground. Give me Stevie J. any day over this disgusting excuse of a man. At least Stevie had a funny mouse face and some half-decent one-liners.

K. Michelle's best friend Tracie is visiting, and she's being forced to listen to the parade of assistant's that K. has gone through in the past month. Pal Paris joins the ladies to question whether K. Michelle has a bun in the oven. If Media Take Out says it's true, it must be! Paris is floored by this news, and she refuses to baby-sit. Fear not, the only baby in K. Michelle's life is her, I mean, her career. She is tired of being a target of social media. Why do the blogs hate her so. Cue the tears. I wonder if she was this upset when the evil blogs linked her to Ryan Lochte.

Yandy is thrilled to receive a collect call from Mendeecees, and he is very confident that he will be making bail very soon. They get excited to talk about how they will spend their first days together, and it involves nudity and trench coats. They do realize that this call is being recorded, right? 

Oddly enough, Tahiry Jose is having second thoughts about her sister's idea to organize a fundraiser to build a church for their soon-to-be-homeless father to live. Tahiry thinks they maybe need to dial it down a notch and just give him the money to save his house. Once they know he is taken care of, they can look into what it will take to build him a church…they also need to find out what religion he practices. At this news, Lexi loses it…tone it down with the cocktails, sister! Everyone is always out to crush her dreams. This is exactly why she has a hard time trusting her sister…Tahiry always backs out of the coolest things at the last minute. So, this is what happens when you no longer have a Joe Budden story line?

hip hop saigon

VH1 treats us to a thirty second montage of Erica's "life changing" and "inspirational" trip to Cyn. Yep, that's about right. Meanwhile, Saigon and Erica Jean learn that their son isn't getting enough daily stimulation, and the speech therapist recommends that the pair need to see a counselor. Saigon admits that he uses words as weapons, and his son is probably mirroring their behavior as he struggles with his speech. He actually seems very sincere in wanting to get his son on the right path, and he's even receptive to returning to the counselor to improve how he communicates.

I'm glad that K. Michelle has convinced me on this episode that she isn't a giant diva or else I may have taken offense when she said bloggers should kiss her butt. She's celebrating her number one album with Yandy and Paris, but Peter and Amina crash their party. Amina doesn't want to burn any bridges with Yandy so she remains passive when Yandy asks Peter about his wedding band. Not surprisingly, Peter takes issue when K. Michelle peppers him with questions about when he last slept with Tara. Peter toasts to his wife, and Amina starts to wonder if she should be worried what happens with Peter stays at Tara's for "his kids." 

Seriously, VH1? You're going to make me watch a bath tub scene of Erica and Cyn throwing rose petals at each other? They discuss their relationship and admit that they are falling in love. Awww.

hip hop peter tara

The following day, Yandy meets with Tara to tell her how uncomfortable she was around Peter and Amina. She admits that K. Michelle totally had Tara's back by questioning Peter about how often he still sleeps with Tara. Tara gets very haughty when she hears this. Of course they're still sleeping together. She's taken at least two Plan-Bs in the last few months. No. She did NOT just admit that on national television. Condoms, people. Or hey, how about not boning someone you know is sleeping with eighteen other people? I am truly at a loss for words and almost miss how angry Tara gets to learn that Peter and Amina are wearing wedding bands. He's been telling her that he will divorce Amina to get back with her. Could he be lying to her AGAIN? Tara tracks Peter down and wonders what lies he's telling both her and Amina. He just turns it around by saying that her friends don't know him well enough to be asking him about his sex life. He is such a piece of shi- work.

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? WHAT ARE THESE LADIES THINKING?

[Photo Credit: VH1]

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