Carlton Gebbia continues to intrigue me. I mean, she's the wicked witch of double standards. She's disgusted by her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates talking about sex and then lap dances on her MIL, does stripper pole lessons, and throws a Hustler party.
She doesn't want Kyle Richards asking about her religion, yet she talks about it all the time and puts spells on people. And she doesn't like Joyce Giraud for being fake and attention-seeking yet Carlton is allll about Brandi Glanville!
In her most recent Bravo blog Carlton reflects on the episode and explains why Kyle is fake, Joyce is annoying, and she is the greatest living human in the world.
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First of all, Carlton complains that Bravo did not represent her party fairly. I mean she didn't just have a celebration of naked women on stripper poles, she also had stockbrokers, athletes, and other "diverse guests". They were probably hiding so no one would know they are associated with her!
Now for the reason it was featured at all – HW drama!
"As far as the uncomfortable hug with Joyce, seconds before that she was waiving both of her jazz hands 12" from my face for me to notice her, because I wasn't looking as she made her grand entrance. Sorry you didn't get to see that either. Oh, Joyce wasn't getting the attention she so desperately craves. And yes that's exactly my reaction when some one manically waves their hands in my face and then has the desperate need to hug. It's odd and uncomfortable." What about someone who constantly waves their ta-tas and their talons in your face? Ahem… Carlton!
Oh, but forget Joyce – Kyle sucks the mostest!
"The systematic disrespect from Kyle is extremely calculated, and if it isn't obvious to some of you, why not take a look at her behavior. She's always accused me of having preconceived ideas about her when I entered this lair, but this is a classic example of transference. Seems she was the one with the preconceived notions before I ever met her, then lying in her pathetic way asking 'innocent' questions about my beliefs in Palm Desert in the pool, at my house for lunch, at my pool party to name a few. She may play the dumb, innocent victim with people, but I saw her for who she really is from day one. She exists in a make believe world and believes her own hype."
Is Kyle really this smart? Lisa…? Anybody…? Cause we're talking about a woman who thinks caftans are awesome.
"I reacted so sharply because for one moment I thought she had a genuine interest in my tattoo that I'd told NO ONE about or shown, but she just happened to know about it. And then she starts and lays her pathetic groundwork for a very clear and dangerous setup." Carlton – you're on a reality show where producers talk. Talk to each other. And to the other women. Grow. Up.
"First off converting as she did to a beautiful faith, she truly does Judaism an incredible disservice if she can't tell the difference between our two symbols. My bikini strap was not covering up my large tattoo. The point is she's known from day one what my religion is and consistently goads me. I may believe in love and light, but I will not be quiet when I'm being insulted either. Nothing that comes out of her mouth is honest or authentic."
Carlton insists her eye-opening realization about Kyle didn't just come from a dream, but from other party guests revealing her two-faced nature. Ok, well I do believe Kyle is two-faced. So I'll give Carlton credit for that!
"In my moment of possibilities I briefly thought the necklace was a memento of starting fresh. God knows I had been honest with her in the gym shop, but that didn't pan out. Clearly she doesn't like honesty. So yes, I graciously accepted this beautiful piece of jewelry hoping we could move forward."
"Cut to after she left early and I can't explain the loo scene with Kyle, but I had more than two people come up to me saying that she and the other one were talking negatively about my home and my guests, plus I did have a dream, which I pay heed to. This is the way I live my life, and I make no apologies. I'm so done giving one more chance. Some people are just destined to dislike one another, and this one I can do without."
Finally about that spell. Carlton laughs that Joyce thinks she really put a hex on her – or anyone. I mean she did threaten to…
"As far as Jacqueline consistently challenging my religion, of course I'm going to react, but I must say I giggled when I watched her scene with Kim. It was so entertaining, and for someone who doesn't believe, she sure gives me a lot of credit."
Carlton – I had a dream you were fake. And it turns out my dreams are right. You are fake! Faker than Jacqueline and Kyle, even!
[Photo Credit: BravoTV.com]
TELL US – IS KYLE SYSTEMATICALLY DISRESPECTING CARLTON? DID CARLTON PUT A SPELL ON JOYCE?