Teen Mom 2 Recap: Moving On But Not Necessarily Up

teen-mom-2-recap-chelsea

Last night the ladies of Teen Mom 2 forged ahead – some in a positive direction, some in a delusional direction, and some were just Jenelle Evans who will go in any direction that seems the stupidest at any given time. 

Leah Calvert is still reeling from Ali's diagnosis. The girls are at Corey's for the weekend and she is home alone with Adalynn while Jeremy is working in PA for a month. Three little kids. Alone. A month. I would develop a drinking problem. And yes, I have two little kids. 

Leah's mom comes over to check in and they discuss Ali's future. Leah is positive they'll have to move because their house has too many stairs to accommodate Ali's wheelchair. Leah's mom's heart is broken over the situation. I love this family. I love them so much I forget Leah has a purple muppet wig on her head dangling into her frosted silver eyes. Later Leah tells Jeremy she's found a farm, but it's in a different county, 40 minutes away, but Ali will benefit from equine and water therapy so they want to have a space where she can have a pony. 

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE REST!

Leah's stepfather Lee comes over to remind her that moving 40 minutes away when your husband is gone so much will really isolate her and she's probably going to need to be close to her family. Ummm… right! Leah does not need to develop a drinking problem – I mean her hair is already on crack. 

While Leah and Jeremy are being proactive about Ali's diagnosis, enrolling her in school for early services, and thinking long-term; Corey is in denial. He thinks the doctors don't know what they're talking about and Ali will grow out of her muscular dystrophy. He doesn't want her having anymore tests.

While the kids JUMP ON A TRAMPOLINE IN THE HOUSE Corey and his camo WVU hat (I love you WV) mumble through some medical terms mus-clar dys-summin and tell Miranda he believes Ali will be playing softball some day, she will will be able to do whatever she wants, and that he is not going to let Leah subject her to more tests. I admire his hope and positivity – and I get that he's having trouble dealing with the truth, but…

teen-mom-2-reca-leah

Later when he talks to Leah he insists that Ali is going to walk down the aisle at her wedding and he is going to be walking beside her, reminding her that he always believed in her. And yes, he tells Leah Ali is going to be playing softball. No offense, but what if she doesn't like softball? Corey also teared up a bit, which was so sweet. I love you Corey! 

Chelsea Houska is trying to move forward with Adam Lind. Ugh… I'd be trying to move away from Adam, but I guess there's no option since they share an adorable DNA combination known as Aubree. How cute is that little girl?! I cannot take her cuteness! Not cute, as always, is Adam. He takes new baby mamma out to dinner where he warns her they'll stay together so long as she keeps the house clean. I remained focused on his receding hairline mohawk – I will never get over this and this is on TM2 where the hair standards are like super low. 

The new baby mama (whose name eludes me) warns Adam that she needs to start being included in things for Aubree too. Ummmm… shouldn't ADAM be included first Mr. I've been in jail 55 times and don't know my kid's birthday but check out my new Camaro? Anyway, he wants visitation. And he continues to blame Chelsea for the fact that he doesn't have it. <LAUGHTER BREAK>.

teen-mom-2-recap-adam-chelsea

They meet together to pick up Aubree  from her first day of pre-school. Chelsea practically blubbers on the spot and her hair trembles dangerously as Aubree runs to "daddy" first. She gets it rationally, but I feel the sting for her. That sucks.

In other Chelsea news: it's her birthday! Her birthday! Her birthday! Her birthday! Hey guys – it's Chelsea's birthday! Did we have school that day – was it a holiday? Maybe only in SD? SD fans help me out! 

On Chelsea's birthday she also has a big makeup test and her subject is her mom. Despite the fact that Chelsea's hair grows bigger and bushier and redder and is parting the red sea and requiring its own MTV paycheck and address, and don't get me started on the makeup; Chelsea makes up her mom pretty nicely – and skin toned. BFF clone Megan, on the other hand, turns her mom the color of Orange Crush. Also the color of Jenelle

After the test they go out to breakfast where Chelsea starts to tantrum and have a coniption fit because her mom asks if she has told Aubree about the new b-a-b-y that Adam is having. "I'm gonna leave. No seriously if you talk about that, I'm gonna leave," she threatens aggressively spearing fruit and glaring across the table until mom's make-up starts to melt and Chelsea's hair starts to smoke. So that wasn't awkward!

Kail Lowry and Javi Marroquin are still living far, far apart which is probably the only way I could take Kail, but to each his own! Javi is tired of living in a hotel so they decide to buy a house in DE before the court has given a ruling on her custody issues with Jo. Cause that makes sense! Javi finds one and starts the mortgage process while Kail mopes. That's her response to everything. "Kail – you won the powerball!" Kail: "K… <sulk face>" I would say be careful your face might freeze like that, buuuut it already has! 

teen-mom-2-recap-kail

Kail and Javi trespass on the property they don't yet own and play a little game called breaking and entering on the trampoline, then ignoring your 4-year-old bouncing while we sit on a bench in our not yet yard and talk about ourselves. They decide to put an offer in but Kail is still stressed out. See she's pregnant, and dealing with dogs, and a job, and Isaac, and PLANNING A WEDDING, alone in a house she hates while pregnant. No wonder she's binge eating  fetuccine alfredo.

Instead of you know, postponing the wedding to alleviate some stress since they're already married, Kail tells her MOH Peach that she wants to have the big ceremony in front of friends and family. Sure, fine, but does it have to be while you're massively pregnant? Oh yeah… it does because TM2 is filming and she wants MTV pay for it! 

Enough about Kail, let's talk Jenelle. She and Nathan Griffith are a hot item. And by hot, I mean hot messes. They are renting a super nice BEACH HOUSE together, paid for by Nathan's illustrious underwear modeling and time share pyramid scamming careers. Jenelle's financial contribution… is… yeah – MTV? So they're paying $1,500 per month to rent a beach house. Glad Jenelle is saving money for Jace's future! 

Jenelle gets breakfast with Babs and Jace where she informs the son she barely knows that she's moving out again. This time Jenelle wants visitation because Nathan is such a goood, goood guy (he underwear models and is in college! Allegedly!) and she wants to pretend she cares about Jace. Babs agrees they can do one overnight per week.

Jenelle takes Jace out to lunch where they have a conversation about lying. Meaning Jenelle thinks it's cute that when Jace lies, just like she does. Values! 

teen-mom-2-recap-jenelle

Since they've been dating all of 2 weeks and all Nathan marvels at how the honeymoon period just goes on and on and on. So long as the cameras are rolling! Then when Babs comes to visit to check out the place, Nathan starts talking down at her about how Jenelle is such a "good girl" who just got in with the wrong crowd.

Babs agrees Jenelle has made some positive changes – for instance, "I don't have to worry about you smokin' WEEEEED and gettin' all screwed up and paassin' out and havin' the kid out in da street!" It was so weird how Nathan (who barely knows Jenelle) and Babs were having a conversation about her right in front of her as if she's a kid. Oh wait… 

teen-mom-2-jenelle-nathan

Yeah I can't stand Nathan. Shut. Up. You don't even know Jenelle, you're clearly in this because you want to be on TV, and we can tell it's all an act. I ain't sayin' he's a gold digger, but 18 years… 18 years… 18 years… that's how long Jenelle is gonna be paying him child support! 

[Photo Credits: MTV]

TELL US – IS COREY IN DENIAL? WILL ADAM EVER STEP UP TO THE PLATE? WILL JENELLE AND NATHAN LAST?

 

 

 

X