Back in my last life when I taught first grade, I used to read "Which Witch Is Which" to my students around Halloween. For some reason, when I watch this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the same question resonates in my head! Is it the actual Wiccan Carlton Gebbia? Kyle Richards for her comments? Brandi Glanville? I just don't know anymore. Of course, Carlton thinks there is no bigger bwitch (my new hybrid word) in 90210 than Splits and Joyce Giraud. I think someone needs to Escape from Witch Mountain! Who's with me? Kim? (Sorry, couldn't resist!).
In her Bravo blog, Carlton has had enough of the judgment and hypocrisy, so she goes and does the proper amount of judgment towards Kaftan Kyle herself. Perhaps these ladies should be friends as they seem to act in the same general manner!
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Carlton writes, "Of course on the negative side there's Kyle and Joyce, yet again bashing my religion. These two are like dogs with a bone they just can't stop themselves from consistently insulting and mocking my faith. I don't care if they believe or don't believe, I don't want to hear it. It makes no difference to me. For the last time I am not here to change anyone's religious or spiritual beliefs, nor am I recruiting thank god. You will never hear me challenge their religions, which I actually have respect for. But evidently, with their limited narrow minds, they are having a hard time understanding that concept. What's so telling about both of their characters is when Kyle tells Joyce nonchalantly that she called me anti-Semetic and Joyce has no bloody reaction not even a flinch. I appreciate that Yolanda [Foster] agreed that it was ignorant too."
Discussing Kyle's dinner party remark, she continues, "Anti-Semite is just another word in her arsenal of reckless labels without any accountability. The problem with people like her is that it has become second nature to be rude and dismissive, spewing out hateful remarks means nothing because they've gotten away with it for so long." Isn't that last sentence pretty much the casting call for this entire franchise?
Not wanting to leave out Joyce in her tirade, Carlton blogs, "So telling that Joyce says she doesn't believe in Wiccan. Really? What is it exactly about the Wicca faith that she doesn't believe? Did she really just deny it's entire existence of which millions of people world wide are practicing Wiccans. Wicca is a recognized religion in the military! How can she seriously be that ignorant? Do they both understand that I am not the only practicing Wiccan out there, that they desperately feel the constant need to be so offensive about this particular faith. I am quite sure that I'm not the only one insulted by their gross antics. In fact I know this to be only too true."
These ladies are all about the disinvite, aren't they? Last week Carlton was "disinviting" Kyle, and this week she finds herself the victim of it with the girls' trip. She shares, "With regards to Puerto Rico, Joyce and I had that lunch where by we agreed to move on. Sort of the way her and Brandi moved on. They weren't close either but Brandi was invited by Kyle. The disinviting by Joyce specifically, well only one word comes to mind 'hypocrite.' Joyce never had the courtesy to call and let me know that because of Kyle she was withdrawing the invitation. Yolanda was the one who was kind enough to give me the heads up at Gigi's party. And again Kyle was never invited by myself or my husband to his StockCross party and now suddenly Joyce's trip became Kyle and Joyce. Laughable, but thank you for that after what I heard you did to Lisa [Vanderpump] down there."
Next, Carlton takes the opportunity to dish on Gigi's going away party. She was touched by Gigi's speech (seriously, who wasn't? Pass the tissue!), and she was appreciative of her gracious hosts. She enjoyed getting to meet Mohammed, and she did her best to passively avoid Kyle (she truly did). However, I am going to gloss over that and move on to what is important. The blue skull necklace's golden crown! Or is it a ring? Sheesh!
She reveals, "This is where it gets odd. I want to explain the bizarreness of this situation and what was going through my mind at that moment. David and I stood up to leave, Kyle and Brandi still sitting there. I turn to kiss Lisa and Ken goodnight, turn back and literally they've both disappeared within seconds. That was odd and I thought maybe she was avoiding saying goodbye (thankfully). We walk up the steps and suddenly there's Brandi's with this ring and a really confusing explanation. I honestly felt like I was being ambushed in that moment, it was a little surreal."
Carlton adds, "I wasn't quite sure what was going on. Why would Kyle, who was just there moments ago, run and hide and send in Brandi immediately on our way out with a gold ring that apparently went with the necklace, which was blue. Lisa and I felt the same, completely confused with Brandi's reason. It didn't make sense. In that moment all these thoughts are rushing though my mind. I stood there completely at a loss and thank god my incredible husband saw I was struggling and he was there to snap me out of it. If Kyle was giving it as a peace offering then she should have done it herself and explained the connection between the two pieces rather than having someone else do it for her which seems to be her obvious M.O. But on the other hand if she didn't want it then throw the bloody thing out. Didn't she just uninvite me that same night to Puerto Rico which was Joyce's trip originally? Why would I expect anything else? Just more stupid setups and games."
Defending Lisa, Carlton states, "But as for Kyle and Brandi to blame Lisa for her stating the obvious confusion and for my subsequent actions refusing the ring is bloody ridiculous. I did not want the ring. It was my choice. Lisa had nothing to do with that and she certainly wasn't acting sneaky or inserting herself into anything that didn't concern her. It wasn't Kyle who tried to give me the ring, she had Brandi do it for her. Look I like Brandi, but I didn't like what was happening. My husband saw exactly what was going on and didn't like it either and that's when I woke up to the bulls—."
Concluding, Carlton shares, "It seems to me that every chance Kyle can blame Lisa for something even if Lisa isn't the main focus of a problem Kyle will find a way to do it. However Lisa I feel is completely desensitized to Kyle's constant setups and jealousy. These relationships are so painfully and unnecessarily complicated. Oh here's a Spanish idiom that sums up Kyle's character 'to throw the stone and hide the hand' maybe she's heard of that one."
Seriously, this getting to be comical. Every last one of them!
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CARLTON'S BLOG? WHICH WITCH IS WHICH?
[Photo Credit: Fayes Vision/WENN.com]