Part two of the Shahs of Sunset reunion was not nearly as explosive as part one but there were a few moments worth discussing. So my favorites revolve around Lilly Ghalichi and Mercedes "MJ" Javid's crazy mom Vida, but MJ saying that only Persians have to deal with responsibilities like working, caring for pets, cooking, and cleaning definitely deserves a shout out. What. A. Twit.
To kick things off, Andy Cohen revisits Reza Farahan attacking Sasha earlier this season. Reza claims he's sorry then starts in with his "woe is me" excuses. He says Sasha talking about the Iranian Revolution set him off, adding, "None of them can understand how that makes me feel – I am someone who suffered for 40 years because of the crap they did in Iran. My name is Reza and I look like this. My name is not Lilly. My name is not Mike. My name is Reza and I look like this. I am as Persian as Persian gets when you look at me."
Andy is like, how does that justify insulting Sasha? Andy insists FOB (fresh off the boat) is a hateful thing to say to someone. Reza and MJ disagree. MJ calls it mere teasing. Andy reminds them that Reza made fun of Sasha's accent also. Reza says, "Absolutely!" MJ adds, "It's really annoying." Two peas in a pod.
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Believe it or not – but Reza Farahan is not the only person on the planet who has suffered. Do you need a minute to process this shocking news? I'll wait. Mike Shouhed reveals that he, too, endured hardships because he's Persian. "I went on the playground and got beat up by guys like Reza," he shares. "I was not going to let Reza bully Sasha – regardless if he's my best friend – because it brought back memories for me of people like him bullying me."
Reza can't believe Mike called him a bully!! So Mike reminds him that he went into Shahs of Sunset hoping to help other gay men feel okay, adding, "You're a f–king hypocrite – and you went after Sasha and made him feel the opposite of okay!"
Reza, who loves to dish it but hates to take it, spews that Mike "points fingers, punishes you, puts you down, then stands in the glow of his superiority." Um, err, I think Reza is confusing Mike with Asa Soltan Rahmati. Speaking of Her Highness, she tries to defend Reza and Mike dismisses the "pompom Reza cheerleader" with a dirty look. HAHA. This back-and-forth leads them to talking about picking sides, switching friends, blah, blah, – it's so junior high.
Moving on to talk about Iran, Asa says the trip to Turkey and the Iranian border was life-changing. Then she talks about her identity. Which seems to change every. single. season. Will the real Asa please stand up… please stand up…
Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi shares that she has not visited Iran since appearing on Shahs of Susnet because she doesn't want to "bring shame" to her relatives. Lilly says the show portraying Iran as a dangerous place makes her feel uneasy and sad. "Well, out of this whole group, I'm the most proud and respectful Iranian," says Asa. Pretentious much? "When I say I can't go back, I'm not saying Iranians are horrible."
Reza says gays and Jews are stoned to death in Iran, but Lilly insists it is not true. Then she announces that Iran will give gay men a free sex change! Do yourself a favor, Lilly. Stop. Talking. Andy is like, the f–k?!? Is this girl for real? GG laughs it off. Asa rolls her eyes. Reza cracks a joke about running off to Iran in a pair of daisy dukes. Gah. I really didn't need that mental picture.
Talking about Asa's family reunion brings us to MJ realizing she wants to have a family. This, out of the blue. She was perfectly happy with just her dogs and booze until Turkey. MJ says she wants to find the right partner first, adding, "It's hard. Even harder when I'm on Shahs of Sunset and out doing crazy things."
Andy invites Vida to the reunion. She complains about Bravo's table settings before she even sits down. Vida admits she's not happy about what she sees MJ doing on Shahs of Sunset. Then Vida chastises Reza for calling everyone and everything a bitch.
Vida says she never planned to have children, but she makes a point to say to MJ, "I wanted you… of course I wanted you." All MJ hears is "unwanted" – and she calls Vida the most un-nuturing mother on the planet. As always, MJ hears what she wants to hear, then she turns it into an unnecessary argument.
Random stuff: Andy asks everyone to share their age – GG, 32; Lilly, 30; Mike, 35; Asa, 37; Reza, 40; MJ, 40. Andy gives MJ the side eye, "How many times have you been 40?" Too. Funny. MJ says one or two – if this were The Price Is Right, the audience would be screaming, HIGHER! HIGHER!
Because most of them are always behaving like children or carrying on like drunken spring breakers, Andy calls them the oldest adolescents. MJ, forever the life of the party, takes offense. "We're not married with children," she bitches. "We're career driven and we're successful so we can do whatever the f–k we want."
Andy asks Mike why he hasn't proposed to Jessica Parido yet. He says he's madly and deeply in love with her but, once you take that first step, everything happens so fast. Lilly warns, Jessica may not wait forever. Mike insists Jessica will get everything she wants and deserves… in time.
Out of nowhere, Asa announces they all love each other and have each other's backs. Mike tears up when Reza backs Asa's statement because he certainly hasn't felt any love or support from Reza this season. Reza blubbers about how much Mikeeee hurtttt himmmm. Sniffffff. In the end, Mike apologizes and Reza accepts. They kiss and hug it out – and everyone else drinks up!
Lilly speaks up, admitting that the the constant fighting among friends was too much for her. An amused Reza says, "I want to be there for your parties but want to know I can count on you for the real stuff too." So, we can all agree that "real stuff" means stroke his ego, right?
Reza says he loves all of them forever. Um. But watch your back. "I hurt my friends," he adds. "I can be offensive at times. But, in the end, I don't love them any less." Andy Cohen said it best, Y'ALLS ARE CRAZY!
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