Okay. So, wow. Last night's Mob Wives reunion took a page out of the Shahs of Sunset debacle with a sit down dinner hosted by Sherri Shepherd. Big Ang is wearing a sequined hoodie that was definitely inspired by the great Whitney Houston's role in The Bodyguard. I really don't know what else to say. Sherri announces that the women have joined together to break bread instead of breaking tables. That's a plus.
Right off the bat, Sherri asks Alicia diMichele Garofalo about where her sentencing stands. Alicia reveals that because the restitution portion of her case has yet to be settled, the judge had to postpone her sentencing. We are then treated to highlights of the colossal beat down drama between Natalie Guercio and Renee Graziano. The women laugh that Ang, who gets along with everyone, was wary of Natalie, while Renee initially thought Natalie was her mini-me. I don't think I've ever seen a more hilarious video montage than one themed "Delicious." Renee calls the comment rude, and Sherri tries to impart that Natalie was trying to pay her beau a compliment. In no way does Renee think that Natalie was hitting on her man, but she finds the term incredibly disrespectful. Drita D'avanzo agrees, but not the extent that Renee does. Remind me that if I ever find myself at meal cooked by Renee to have a pocketful of synonyms!
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I forgot how scary "Vegas Renee" was until I see a reel of her crazy. Renee admits that she had relapsed. When asked why, Ang bursts in with the fact that Renee suffers from anxiety and was hanging with her new boyfriend Tito, as in vodka. In fact, Ang suggests that Renee stay away from an liquor named after a man. Natalie questions why it was okay for Renee to drink wine at lunch or throw back shots with the girls and that wasn't detrimental to her recovery. I think it's a valid question, but of course Renee starts cussing up a storm about how Natalie knows nothing about her or her demons. I also agree with that. Renee then reminds Natalie that she was perfectly happy getting high with her before Vegas. And silence. Thanks commercial break!
Back from the commercial, Natalie starts wondering when she got high with Renee? Renee is screaming that if Natalie cared about her recovery she wouldn't have done cocaine with her before Vegas. Renee claims that the two didn't speak after Vegas, and Natalie reminds Renee that she has a text asking to come over and cuddle. What? I am so confused. Sherri wonders whatever happened to "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"…and frankly, so do I. The great brunch headlock is revisited. Renee finds the footage hard to watch because she's embarrassed. She's not a violent person. Um, a few prior seasons might disagree with her! She's just a hair-puller, if that.
Alicia admits that she was terrified by the entire situation. Sherri wonders if Natalie was purposefully antagonizing Renee. Renee suddenly bursts into tears and says she no longer enjoys being part of the show. It's too hard, and she's humiliated. Drita has her friend's back until Renee accuses her friends of joking about her problem. Drita explains that she used humor as deflection and Renee has to understand that she put them in an equally difficult position with her behavior.
We revisit the complete one-eighty that Drita has experienced since the show first premiered. She's got her husband back, She's rapping with Method Man .She's in la-la loveland hanging out on a %&*^$ing rainbow. To all of the haters that think that Lee speaks horribly to Drita, she admits that she dishes it more than she takes it. Drita even elaborates on "never saying never" when it comes to working through her relationship with Lee. She also shares that she may be collaborating with Method Man in the future.
It's time for build-a-baby! I love Ang and Neil. Sherri wonders how Neil is dealing with their final decision not to have a child. Ang jokes that Neil is building a new house instead of a new baby. They have two grand babies coming, two weddings, two baby showers, too christenings. Ang knows that she and Neil are in a good place, and she's too scared to consider carrying a child herself. When Sherri asks about their sex life, Ang cringes and says she's going through the change (which would make it hard to carry a baby, right? I'm not doctor, but…). She's not interested in the hippity dippity with Neil. She also says that Neil is extremely turned on by her sequined hoodie.
Renee's abuse of Twitter and Natalie's subsequent retaliation is discussed. Sherri is curious as to why these women claim to be able to say anything to each others' faces feel the need to take to Twitter. Natalie apologizes to Renee, but Renee thinks that Natalie hurt A.J. with her Twitter attack. She's screaming again. Ang quietly says that Natalie's name-calling was below the belt, and Alicia reveals that Natalie was only defending her against Renee's Twitter rants. Natalie sums it up perfectly…if Renee can dish it, she should be able to take it.
This is pretty much the Renee Show, so why not dedicate an entire segment to her antics this season…from Junior's prison letter to her erotica, we get to see it all. Renee shares that she heard from Junior one more time, and he's been transferred to another prison. Ang thinks that Junior is a scary man, but Drita warns Renee of the issues that can come from living in constant fear. Renee dishes on her book…it's a lot of fiction and fantasy given the fact that she hasn't been laid in ages. Thanks for that information.
Moving on to Alicia's impending incarceration, Alicia says she is just keeping her faith in God. There is no date set yet for her sentencing. Ang talks about her house arrest for an involvement in a drug ring, and Sherri jokes that she needed Ang's attorney since she spent eight days in jail for traffic violations. The women believe that Alicia should not have to serve any time, but she breaks in to say that she did commit a crime. She was naive and took her husband at his word that he wasn't a part of the mob lifestyle even though all the evidence was there. She even laughs that it's hard to date given the fact that she is literally married to mob. Drita thinks that the idea of turning a blind eye in this lifestyle is outdated, but she's not saying it in a way that is disrespectful to her friend.
Renee's lifelong friendship with Alicia's husband and his former girlfriend is front and center, and Alicia is trying to explain why she was so upset about Renee's gossip. Renee didn't like being called a rat, and Alicia reminds Renee that she never called her a rat–she doesn't talk like that–she just accused Renee of being a gossip. Drita starts yelling that while she's never brought it up, Renee did the same to her in previous seasons with the gossip about her marriage to her husband's ex-girlfriend Karen Gravano. The old Drita is back in full force. Sherri interrupts to tell the women that they're in a good place now, so that has to count for something. Drita begrudgingly agrees as she chugs her wine and rolls her eyes. I heart Drita.
Sherri concludes with a quick reel of the supporting men including Renee's son A.J., Alicia's snickering brother, and sweet Neil. Natalie reveals that London will be moving to Philly, and Sherri wants to know what Lee looks like after hearing his voice on the phone. Drita shares that he looks like The Rock. Alicia's brother is single, ladies! Here's to staying off Twitter!
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE REUNION? IS RENEE STILL A TOTAL LOON?
[Photo Credit: VH1]