Well last night was bittersweet! Honestly, when I first requested to recap Southern Charm, I certainly didn't think I'd enjoy it–I just wanted to have an excuse to chronicle the inevitable train wreck. However, I'm sad to see it come to an end. Heck, I even started to kind of like Thomas Ravenel (and, no, I'm not drinking!)! Cameran Eubanks is utterly charming, Whitney Sudler-Smith's mother Patricia totally stole the show, and Shep Rose, well, um, he's got great fratty hair. Even Craig Conover grew on me a bit, and I'm not totally ashamed that we will soon be alums from the same law school. We all know that T-Rav has welcomed a baby girl with Kathryn Dennis and is residing in Florida (though still planning to run against Lindsay Graham according to The State), and Cameran married herself an anesthesiologist, so I am not counting my chickens that there will be a season two. I guess we'll have to bask in last night's finale to dull the pain.
The show begins where it left off last week, with Whitney's admission that he too hooked up with Kathryn around the same time frame as her "fling" with Shep and her pregnancy scare with Thomas. Prior to their con-bro-sation, the thirty second recap of the season courtesy of Cameran and Craig is pretty spot on and hilarious, I must say. Whitney tries to explain that he feels "dark and sleazy" for keeping this secret from his best friend, and he hopes that T-Rav will tread lightly in pursuing a relationship with her given his future political aspirations. Thomas looks gobsmacked. When did chicks start hooking up as often and as haphazardly as dudes?
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Across the farm, Cameran inquires as to who would like to know their future if a psychic were able to provide that information. Shep and Craig are all, oh hell no! A drunk Shep admits that he's dealing with some girl stuff, and he feels guilty for canceling a date for the guy's weekend. He promises to make it up to her. I'm sure whoever she is, she was devastated. As Whitney urges T-Rav not to make any rash decisions regarding Kathryn, the red head interrupts to find out why her Prince Charming hasn't come to bed. When Thomas confronts Kathryn, she plays all kinds of dumb, and the slurring intensifies. After T-Rav shares Whitney's admission, she doesn't deny anything. She just keeps saying, "You believe that? Yourre beweave thass?" Finally, she tearfully admits to hooking up with Whitney after Thomas dumped her and left her. Can you really get dumped after a one-night stand? As she turns on the waterworks, poor Thomas can't help but comfort her. Yikes.
Everyone slowly makes their way out into the kitchen for breakfast, and the hangovers clearly abound given the amount of indoor shades being sported. Whitney still feels guilty, and things are a tad awkward between he and his buddy. The girls prank Craig by tossing his boots into the nearest tree, and Shep is thrilled that there were no ridiculous instances during the overnight. Um, no instances? He and Danni stay behind to clean, and Shep is worried that as they back slide into a casual hook-up relationship, she's going to want more. As the others head back to Charleston, Cameran jokes about Whitney admitting to "going to Pork City" with Kathryn. I want to start a barbeque place and that will be the name. Whitney reveals that he used a condom…of course he did–she didn't want to have his baby.
In a separate car, Thomas justifies the fact that he and Kathryn weren't exclusive when she slept with Whitney. He's hurt, but he can't be mad. Kathryn wonders how Thomas can stay friends with a guy who is clearly out to sabotage their relationship. Given the fact that T-Rav finds Whitney's motives to be sincere, he is starting to question Kathryn's integrity for being so anti-Whitney. After all, Whitney didn't keep denying what happened after he got caught. The crew in the Suburban are worried about Thomas getting sucked in, and Cameran suggests a moment of silence for their pal. Once home, Shep hosts Whitney for some vino and some restaurant brainstorming. Whitney attempts to talk Shep out of their partnership, but Shep sees right through his friend's ruse. This isn't his first rodeo with Whitney, and he inquires about what Whitney has been doing behind the scenes.
Patricia graces her son's new abode with her presence, but she nearly has an allergy attack from all the tackiness. It's Salvation Army chic, minus the chic, add in a Home Depot clearance. She hopes that Whitney has liability insurance in the event that Shep falls off the ladder and breaks his face. Patricia wants Whitney back home with her, but in the meantime, he needs to stock up on hand sanitizer given the company he keeps. Across town, Craig is getting ready for his date, and I'm actually not at all opposed to a shirtless Criag. Geez, have I given up all my scruples? He picks up his date and heads to The MacInstosh (jealous), and they decide that spaghetti is horrible date food. Have they never seen Lady and the Tramp? The pair discusses future goals. Craig wants it all…a family, a successful legal career, and a boat called "The Office" so when clients call, he can say he's at "The Office." Priceless. Until then, he'll settle for throwing his date over his shoulder caveman style and heading down Upper King.
Thomas heads to church to meet with his minister. He is dishes on his new relationship with a good Huguenot who comes from good Dennis stock. Wait, the minister says, the Dennis family from Moncks Corner? This minister is clearly a fan of the show. T-Rav explains that Kathryn is a bit younger and she does stupid things, but she's ready to get married and have a baby. His minister is all NeNe Leakes neck (oh no she di-int!) as he urges Thomas to think about what he's saying. When in doubt, don't. Good advice, for sure.
After sharing his guitar collection with Cameran, Whitney is prepping for his Fourth of July shindig. He's having burgers, hot dogs, and barbeque (courtesy of Pork City, I hope!). Kathryn is getting her outfit together for the party, and she balks at the fact that Thomas was born in the 60's after he makes a Bobbsey Twins reference that totally goes over her head. When T-Rav asks if she's comfortable going to a party at Whitney's, Kathryn admits she's cool with it. She admits she just hooked up with Whitney because she was young and dumb. Sweetheart, it was just last week.
At Whitney's party, Shep is sporting head to toe stars and stripes. I tweeted him that I thought it looked good in hopes of a retweet, but no such luck, and now my integrity has been questioned. #shame Kathryn addresses Whitney as if nothing ever happened, and Whitney is over hoping for T-Rav's better judgment. It's clearly not coming. On the roof, Danni is clearly jealous of the number of girls that Shep has invited to the get together. She's worried that if he keeps playing around, he'll never get married or have a family. I don't think Shep is too concerned about that at the moment. Meanwhile, Kathryn wants to squash any beef with Craig. He's quick to oblige…after all they're both pretty. He's half right…did y'all see Craig's physique when he was dressing for his date? Yes and please. Jenna King and Cameran share some girl talk, and Jenna realizes after her summer in Charleston just how much her beau Lou means to her. Cameran jokes that she'll be a good bridesmaid for Jenna marries before her. Jenna want Lilly Pulitzer-free attendants, and we all know that Cameran beat Jenna down the aisle.
The party ends and the following day Thomas tearfully tells Kathryn that their relationship can't last the test of time. He has been in fantasy land, and he knows they can't maintain this fairytale. This was a fairytale? They sob their farewells, and then–fast forward nine months–we are introduced to the couple's daughter Kensington Calhoun. Thank goodness we'll be treated to a reunion!
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FINALE? ARE YOU HAPPY THAT T-RAV AND KATHRYN ARE STILL TOGETHER?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]