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sister wives party planning

No need to wait until Christmas to get the present you've been waiting for! Last night, TLC gifted us with two, yes TWO(!!), episodes of Sister Wives. Kody Brown's hair was full and flowing for the special occasion. Let's start with the first installment, shall we? 

After their laughable pitch for My Sister Wives' Closet, Kody and his hair are anxiously awaiting to hear whether the investors took the bait. Christine is nervous, and Robyn is feeling a sense of urgency about her business baby. A terrified Janelle could care less about the company (can you blame her?) because her trainer wants her to climb a rock wall. Meri is heading to Utah to check on her house and catch up with a friend from kindergarten. At the rock wall, Janelle wants to vomit. I hate heights, but I think it looks super fun. She's a foot off the ground when her nerves get the best of her. Seriously, she could jump higher than she just climbed. Janelle is determined to conquer her fears and is able to touch a rock about five feet in the air. Son Logan is with her, and he's enjoyed seeing how much confidence his mother has gained in her weight loss journey. 

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Meri's sister and her family are living in the Brown's Utah digs, and the home has suffered from major flood damage. Meri isn't so much concerned with the water, but she's so excited to get to see Mariah who is at college at Westminster. Meri wants to eventually sell the house, but she knows it wouldn't be appealing to a nuclear family as it's set up in polygamist apartments. The contractors working on the damage find polygamy remodels to be old hat. After all, they work in Utah. Over lunch, Meri meets up with a friend she hasn't seen in thirty-seven years. Someone wants to be on television, huh? Meri is shocked to hear that her friend knew back in the day that Meri grew up in a polygamist household. Her friend has no judgment regarding Meri's lifestyle. Nothing could tarnish their life long friendship…even the fact they haven't seen each other in nearly four decades. 

Taking a tour of her childhood home, Meri visits with her elderly neighbors. All of the wives remember how scary it was to hide their polygamist families. Robyn recalls that it was such a weird feeling…being taught not to lie, but yet knowing she had to lie to any adults to make sure her father wasn't arrested. A tearful Christine is happy that their children don't have to live in fear, and the teenagers are happy to now be able to claim their brothers and sisters instead of referring to them as "friends."

Kody and his wives are meeting with the investors, and they are hoping for good news. Their investor friend treads lightly, and Robyn is concerned about why the hits on their web site don't translate into sales. She wants more merchandise. Um, no. You have hits on your web site because you're on a television show and people are curious to see the crap you're hocking. No need for more jewelry. Christine gets called out for using the words "lazy" and "complacent" and everyone agrees that she was just misunderstood. The investors offer between a quarter and half a million dollars. Are they crazy? Are they getting their own Shark Tank spin-off out of this scenario? I need to meet these investors so I can pitch my "I have student loans and y'all clearly give out money for no reason" business. Where I sell me not accruing more debt and being able to eat. Any takers? 

On the second episode, the wives are planning a surprise birthday party for their mane man (heh heh) Kody. Daughter Madison (who may be my break-out favorite…of course, she belongs to Janelle!) is wearing a shirt that says, "Be nice. It's that simple." This girl has it right. She's excited to announce that she's received a college scholarship. While it's not what she'd hoped, it's still a great start for her education…plus, she's not planning to go to cash cow Westminster. 

Christine calls the teens together to share that she wants to throw a surprise party for their party's birthday. After all, he's done everything in his power to make sure that their family is taken care of even in the public eye. We're treated to a montage of a tearful Kody reminding us as to why he wanted to have his family out in the open. Robyn is on board with Christine's plan, as is Janelle. She knows Kody was terrified of the direction in which he was taking his family. The wives decide on a Vegas Vacation themed party. This family loves a shindig, don't they? Perhaps they should put some of these party funds toward their kids' college tuitions? Madison admits that she was beyond angry with her dad for relocating their family (preach, girl!), but now she's happy how things have happened. 

A very tan Meri explains that the wives need Kody to follow their lead and take the sons to a gun show so they can prep for the fete. The wives are planning to dress as each of the queens from a deck of cards. Of course they are…I'll bet they are recycling those awful Renaissance dresses from the commitment ceremony. They've also created a deck of cards with the family's photos. A whiny Robyn remembers how her trust in Kody was tested after he moved her to Vegas a few months after marrying her. The boys are clueless about helping out their moms even though they know the master plan. Finally, the women convince Kody to pick up Mariah from the airport so they can finish the party preparations. 

The kids are dressed in an array of Vegas' finest. The young girls are sporting body paint and feather boas while the older kids are dressed in Roman togas. Kody isn't really surprised when he arrives home to the backyard hoedown. There are gambling tables and card inspired cupcakes. No one else is invited but family…read: boring. The wives are touched by how humbled Kody is. I think he's just waiting for the strippers. All of the kids take turns on the microphone to tell their stories of what the Vegas move (and the coming out as a polygamous family) has meant to them. Christine reveals that Kody wasn't invested in the move, but he faked it to sell to their kids. 

Janelle is dressed as an inmate adorned with red bandanas. Is she the Queen of "In the Club"s? While she was initially against the move, she loves being out as Kody's wife which never happened in Utah. Logan shares that he cried and suffered a panic attack when he learned of their move, but he's happy with the outcome. Kody recalls that Meri was the first wife to be happy with life in Utah. Well duh. She got her wet bar! All in all, Kody is pleased with the night in his honor.

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODES? CAN YOU BELIEVE THE INVESTORS ARE GIVING MONEY TO MY SISTER WIVES' CLOSET? THOUGHTS ON KODY'S SURPRISE PARTY? 

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