Last night on Ladies of London, there were hats and fashion shows and horse races – and Noelle Reno whining about Scot's misfortune and how sad it is that the press doesn't love her like she's Caprice. A girls gotta have goals, right?!
Juliet Angus throws a hat party to feature a milliner and because British girls like hats. And according to Caroline Stanbury, they also crave borrowing British traditions as Americans have so few. We do? Juliet's other reason for hosting this party is to reunite all the girls after the disastrous Fourth of July party which featured Annabelle Neilson and Juliet arguing on the street "like fish harpies" and Caprice trying to do everything in her power to insert herself into the situation for camera time.
Speaking of Annabelle and Juliet – there is still unresolved drama, which means everyone has to talk about it and talk about who needs to apologize to whom, who is at fault, and how they're all going to resolve this for the sake of the group. There's many more horse-centric events to attend, y'all – we can't have acrimony! It might displace our hats.
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Noelle and Scot go rent an apartment that is $10,000 lbs per month. Noelle wants it right now and is 'couch surfing' because of Scot's frozen funds. This really is her only storyline – Scot's divorce and bankruptcy making her look bad in front of her real true love: the press. All Noelle cares about is the press and waiting for Scot's riches to reappear.
I can't wait until he divorces her and the funds disappear a second time! At this point I don't know who is more pathetic and irksome: Scot or Noelle?
Scot promises he'll take care of renting the apartment and they'll be able to move in this weekend. Noelle dispenses a cool smile. I think she was twisting his balls under his coat.
Proving that the best way to play mediator is to get involved after people have cooled off, (take note Caprice!), Caroline pays Annabelle a visit for gourmet tea to check in on her friend's feelings. She admits that Juliet has a very un-English way of managing discord (the House of Lords she is not!), and that perhaps Annabelle took it a little too seriously because she wasn't having fun and isn't too taken with the Americans. Caroline urges Annabelle to give Juliet another chance – and Annabelle agrees to deal with it after her fashion show is over since that's her first priority. Just in case that was too tame, Caprice will cause a big fight later – don't worry. This girl knows how to get attention, after all.
Then Caroline calls Juliet where she bluntly tells her she over-reacted, was embarrassingly rude, and shouldn't be airing dirty laundry on a street corner – and for that she owes Annabelle an apology. At first Juliet tries to protest, but Caroline's purring British accent is so seductive and all the Americans are wooed by her class and self-possession. At the end of the conversation Juliet is giggling and practically running over to Annabelle's house promising never to show knickers in public again.
With that settled everyone but Annabelle attends Juliet's hat fete. We finally officially meet Julie Montagu who is married to the future Earl of Sandwich. Yum. Julie is an American expat from Chicago who worships Target, like all good Americans, an upon her trips home stateside she hits up the bulls eye. Upon learning this Caprice, an underwear model, sneers at how gauche and 'Yankee' Julie is acting – she's supposed to be pseudo-royalty!
Caprice is in a foul-mood at the party and quips that she hates hats. I thought she was a Brit in spirit. Caroline hates hats too, but gamely focuses on the food selection and providing entertainment in the form of satirical one-liners. Caprice, of all people, complains that Caroline always has to be the center of attention. Noelle spends the party cozying up to Caprice to get tips on working the press to her advantage. Caprice loves the attention and quips that Noelle should want to become her best friend and use her. Exactly, because no one would want to be Caprice's bestie for her charming personality!
Caroline and Caprice go baby supplies shopping. Interestingly after everyone ragged on Juliet's 'American' cut-offs last week, both Caroline and Noelle are sporting them this week. Not a one of them wear them right – clearly they're not southern girls!
Caroline offered to throw Caprice a baby shower, but during the shopping trip they get into a bit of a tift when Caprice, yet again, brings up the Annabelle/Juliet fight. Caprice is still upset that Caroline stayed neutral and sees it as a betrayal of Annabelle. Caroline snaps at Caprice that she likes to deal with things without embarrassing displays on street corners. This has Caprice re-evaluating what kind of person Caroline is – Caprice apparently thought Caroline was as desperate for attention and fame as she is! Oops.
In the shop, Caroline ooohs and ahhhhs over the baby gear and talks about how beautiful her own children's nurseries were. Caprice is clearly annoyed that Caroline isn't talking about what impeccable taste CAPRICE has. In retaliation she tells Caroline that she wants to have the baby shower in a restaurant because Caroline's house is too far away and none of Caprice's friends will drive to Surrey.
Caroline argues that she would feel more comfortable having the party in her home, where she's more prepared but Caprice resists and it seems the shower is canceled. I bet Caprice wanted it at a restaurant so she could have tabloids there and sell the stories/pictures, whereas Caroline wouldn't allow that in her home. The ladies leave the shop without buying anything and on a sour note. All those beautiful things left un-purchased – they must have been really pissed at each other!
Meanwhile, Noelle calls Marissa Hermer to complain that Scot's funds didn't come through to rent the apartment and now they can't move in until MONDAY. Two. Whole. Days. Later. Poor Noelle has all her stuff in boxes – all her portraits of herself, and the hearts she's stabbed with screwdrivers when they wouldn't pay her bills. Poor girl. Life is rough!
Luckily there's a distraction – Annabelle throws a fashion show in a leaky sewer. I am probably in the minority but I did think it was kind of cool and distinctly London. There was much drama about the rough patching of the leaking roof lasting only minutes as the models hurried down the runway slipping in sewer water while wearing shoes that looked like they were constructed of coffee filters and wire hangers. Whatever – it was fun and funky. And Annabelle smiled for the first time ever. It turns out her BFF Caprice couldn't come and Annabelle never returned her BFF Caprice's calls after the Fourth of July mess. Caprice had to find out the details of Annabelle's life from Julie. If only Caprice had a title, Annabelle may call her back and invite her for tea!
The ladies all head to the races and only the Americans sport their hats. Noelle complains that last time she wore a hat it was panned (I thought this woman worked in fashion – shouldn't she know the rules. Oh right, she "works" in fashion at fashioning how she'll spend Scot's unfrozen funds. If ever… ).
In the limo, Caprice, who is obviously suffering from serious pregnancy hormones or a delirious desire to get some camera-time, immediately confronts Juliet about the Annabelle nonsense. Caprice argues that she's making a mere suggestion on how Juliet might repair things with Annabelle, without, of course, placing any onus on Annabelle's misbehavior in the matter. They screech at each other while everyone else sits there stoically, channeling their best Caroline. Marissa did not move, save for a trembling feather on a miniscule hat made for toddler. Finally Juliet yells that she's had enough and someone wonders if she's wearing her fancy knickers – the source of all the unruliness. Of course she is.
At the races, Juliet offers Caprice a peace hug. Awwww… and everyone has fun. After champagne and placing bets, Julie invites them all to her family's estate where the entrance looks like a giant BLT and the unofficially motto is the grilled cheese. Julie is in line for the throne, by marriage, and a few delineations of title-dom (is she above Caroline on that roster?), and meanwhile Marissa just wants a decent chicken salad on rye.
Next week, the ladies take their American values to
Downton Abbey an English country estate where of course they can't behave!
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
TELL US – DOES JULIET OWE ANNABELLE AN APOLOGY? IS CAPRICE UNGRATEFUL?